re: ……………………...

well thank you all. You've actually made me feel better about this disagreement. I do know there are areas where I can improve, but he and I need to sit down and have a discussion about his expectations and what I am actually capable of accomplishing in a given day or week.

But mostly I need to figure out what he is expecting from me. I can't make him happy if I don't know what he wants. lol

pppssshhhh... I do everything in the house, organize and pay all the bills, shopping and take care of our DD... DH just makes the money and his job is NOT that hard...... He's a glassblower... His ONLY jobs in the house are to take out the garbage and do his own laundry. Simple enough, right? NOPE! He will do his laundry, but leave it in the basket, and just toss his dirty clothes on the floor.... The garbage, yeah, it gets to overflowing EVERY TIME, so I take it down stairs and put it in front of the garage door along with the recycling, but it will just pile up there for a week. Then he has the gall to get mad at me for not doing the dishes, or letting something be a mess for a day or two.... Dick....

Quoting MommyCaroline:" pppssshhhh... I do everything in the house, organize and pay all the bills, shopping and take care of ... [snip!] ... Then he has the gall to get mad at me for not doing the dishes, or letting something be a mess for a day or two.... Dick...."

i have to pester my husband about his responsibilities   I feel like I'm nagging him ALL the time. Our garbage and diaper genies always fill to the brim. its disgusting. That's one of the things we will talk about, for sure.

I just hate nagging him.

Quoting ~*Icat*~:" well thank you all. You've actually made me feel better about this disagreement. I do know there are ... [snip!] ... week. But mostly I need to figure out what he is expecting from me. I can't make him happy if I don't know what he wants. lol"

This was huge for me. Good luck!!

Quoting ~*Icat*~:" i have to pester my husband about his responsibilities   I feel like I'm nagging him ALL the time. ... [snip!] ... always fill to the brim. its disgusting. That's one of the things we will talk about, for sure. I just hate nagging him."

I feel the same way, and we've had talks about it, and how he makes me feel like a freaking 50's housewife or a maid... He does good for like... A DAY, then goes back to being a dick.

I do most of the cleaning/laundry, all of the cooking, all of the shopping/meal planning, all of the errands and appointments (between DD and I, we have 5 weekly appointments). DH takes out the trash tho and I expect him to pick up after himself, which doesn't always happen.

Whatever mess we make during the day, we clean up before DH gets home from work, that way it's fair game when he gets home. Every night we either give kids a bath or clean up dinner dishes (he usually picks dishes, which is fine with me). And whatever additional mess that is made after he gets home, we both clean up. He will put a load of laundry in, but never folds it.

Quoting MommyCaroline:" I feel the same way, and we've had talks about it, and how he makes me feel like a freaking 50's housewife or a maid... He does good for like... A DAY, then goes back to being a dick."

My dh isn't great about it either. I've learned to love him to death when he does though, he feels the positive response...wants more of it...and does it more often.

Quoting the grace life:" My dh isn't great about it either. I've learned to love him to death when he does though, he feels the positive response...wants more of it...and does it more often. "

I have done that when he does it on his own, but that is very seldom... It's usually me nagging him and him getting pissed off at me before he will do it.

One time I took the garbage and put it in his work space and he got PISSED... But I just told him, "See how angry it makes you to have garbage in your workspace? So do I!" He understood, but was still mad that I did that, he said it was childish and rude.  

Quoting ~*Icat*~:" How much time would you say to do the following: play with the children would you consider supervising ... [snip!] ... as possible, of what I could put in my own job description. and yea, i consider BG "parenting education time"  "

The amount of time I play with DD daily varies depending on what's going on that day, appointments, play dates, etc.

how often would you say to do the following:
vacuum: Usually daily or every other day
sweep: Every other day
mop: Twice a week unless it needs to be done more
do dishes: Twice daily (I do them before DH gets home, and they are done again after dinner)
laundry: Every couple days.

Oh and before DD was born (she's 3yo) we had this agreement, that whoever made dinner, the other would do the dinner dishes.... I'm STILL waiting for that to take effect. lol

Quoting MommyCaroline:" Oh and before DD was born (she's 3yo) we had this agreement, that whoever made dinner, the other would do the dinner dishes.... I'm STILL waiting for that to take effect. lol"

This was our original plan too. After a while of it not working, we decided that one of us will do dishes, and the other will do the bedtime routine (bath, pj's teeth, brush hair, etc.)

Quoting B♥Z:" I do most of the cleaning/laundry, all of the cooking, all of the shopping/meal planning, all of the ... [snip!] ... additional mess that is made after he gets home, we both clean up. He will put a load of laundry in, but never folds it."

he sounds like a good team player.

My husband is a GREAT father and husband...he's just...cleanliness has never been valued in his childhood/young adulthood. so he has no sense of how to keep our spaces organized and clean. he's come a LONG way in our ten years together, but still...he has a looooong way to go. lol

my hubs and i actually sat down and discussed this at one time.. he works and makes sure we have everything our family needs and it is my job to take care of the kids, house, cooking, shopping, ect.. he does pitch in wen he sees i need it though.. i usually get everyhting done during the day while hes gone, but he is more than willing to do watever needs done if i didnt get to it.. i have not been able to keep up as much the past cpl of weeks so hes done alot but never complains and knows that i appreciate the help  

Brett doesn't really care what's done as long as he has food, and a clean dish to put it on  

First and foremost, I take care of the kids, obviously.
The kitchen and the living room I keep up with daily because they get messy the quickest since those are the rooms we frequent. I cook, also, of course. And get Joey off to school most days.


I clean the bathroom when the need arises, and do laundry every few days,but that's about it. And on his days off, he helps out and takes over with some of the stuff. Just like on his 12 hour days, I take out the garbage to help him out since that's usually his job.

Quoting ~*Icat*~:" he sounds like a good team player. My husband is a GREAT father and husband...he's just...cleanliness ... [snip!] ... our spaces organized and clean. he's come a LONG way in our ten years together, but still...he has a looooong way to go. lol"

It's taken a long time to get to where we are with working together. Still, I do 90% of everything but he's learning to help more. Seeing me exhausted this pregnancy has helped that a lot since I have depended on him a bit more.