Quoting Brittney Ivanov:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Raptor Jesus:</b>" Why do you feel the need to defend yourself ... [snip!] ... women who stay at home. I feel for the OP.  . I hate when anyone judges others without having walked a mile in their shoes."

Honestly, take it as being rude if you want...I never will have to even walk an inch in her shoes.

Quoting Ryloonjimama:" Sorry but why will you need financial assistance for child care when you are so financially stable?"

Did you not read what I just said?

Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Not that I saw. I think her posts were interpreted to say as much just because she too feels that if a family isn't financially stable then both parents should be working. "

   

Quoting Ryloonjimama:" Go back and read then because I did and it says "I'll be honest. I am kind of stuck up when it comes to SAHMs..""

"kind of stuck up" makes a lot of difference....

Quoting Brittney Ivanov:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:</b>" Your DH can make 150,000 but that ... [snip!] ... stop being a snob when it comes to stay at home moms. You aren't better than anyone and having that attitude is ignorant."

how you are acting is ignorant . your situation is nothing like the ops .so why keep comparing

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kendra65:</b>" Idk if your talking about my comment or not but I just want to clarify I wasnt trying to say one mother ... [snip!] ... other person at all   I agree. If I went back to work it would all go to childcare. But I believe she has 2 kids, 1 with DS"</blockquote>


No I wasn't talking about you. Another member flat out said RJ is a better parent than OP. and she is entitled to her opinion but still. Does it help the OP to start the " who's a better mother" argument on here? And Fidelis we get it you're so much better off in your life, that's awesome. No need to rub it in her face! The poor thing wanted advice bot a bashing because you disagree with how her DH spends money on loans or your comment about her not being as good as a mother as RJ.

Quoting Brittney Ivanov:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:</b>" Your DH can make 150,000 but that ... [snip!] ... stop being a snob when it comes to stay at home moms. You aren't better than anyone and having that attitude is ignorant."

I never said that I was better than anyone....
And good for you. Imagine $70,000 a year from both of you. $140,000. Oh much better life could be for you. I'm sorry you don't see it that way.

Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:" Did you not read what I just said? "

Yeah I did, some smurf about not being able to rely on your BD... and some smurf about your parents put you through school but everything else is all you... so I don't quite understand why you'd need assistance at all. From the way you're talking you make it seem like you should be able to afford to pay full child care. If you can't, shame on you... after all, that is YOUR job, right?

Quoting Ryloonjimama:" I'll be paying to put my children through school also, but actually not everyone sees that as the parents job."

It is the parents job. Every parent should want a bright future for their child. They shouldn't leave it up to their child to pay for it when it wasn't the child's decision to come into the world.

<blockquote><b>Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:</b>" how you are acting is ignorant . your situation is nothing like the ops .so why keep comparing "</blockquote>


I'm not trying to be ignorant at all. I just don't feel the need for people to be rude to OP. and fidelis I don't need 140,000 a year. Money isn't everything to us. 70,000 is just fine. We will be blessed either way! I'd rather stay at home with my child, it's what I want to do. And I don't think anyone should be frowned upon if they choose to.

Quoting Brittney Ivanov:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kendra65:</b>" Idk if your talking about my comment or not ... [snip!] ... because you disagree with how her DH spends money on loans or your comment about her not being as good as a mother as RJ."

I'm not rubbing anything in her face! I am just showing her that getting a job can make her life A LOT better. Two incomes is always better than one. I was just using my parents as an example.

Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:" It is the parents job. Every parent should want a bright future for their child. They shouldn't leave it up to their child to pay for it when it wasn't the child's decision to come into the world. "

Well that's something that I can agree with you on. I've gotten into it a few times with people who don't believe they are financially responsible for any education after high school.

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" and whos the majority? just because the people in this thread are saying stay home doesnt mean it is the majority "

14 out of 20 people are the majority.

I totally see your point, really I do! But two incomes ( if its unnecessary) isn't what every family wants. It may not make sense to you, but there are some sahm who may think the same thing about women who work. My MIL had always said she can't imagine why women work ( I see why they do!) but not every momma wants to or needs to. I'm sorry if I came off as rude, I didn't mean to.

Quoting Brittney Ivanov:" I totally see your point, really I do! But two incomes ( if its unnecessary) isn't what every family ... [snip!] ... women work ( I see why they do!) but not every momma wants to or needs to. I'm sorry if I came off as rude, I didn't mean to."

The op has no real income and neither of them have a job so why do you think its smart for her to stay home when her mans job isnt guaranteed nor is his school money