<blockquote><b>Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:</b>" That's not necessarily true...But I know nothing. "</blockquote>

You're getting a degree while being a single parent. You knows something's. ;) what is your major btw?

It's probably time to just agree to disagree. Some people think a mother being there for her child as a main priority, some have a different perspective. It doesn't mean that we don't all know what's best and if everybody could just have what was best with no worry in the world, I'm sure they would.

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" not to mention two different countries "

I'm not sure why it matters that I live in a different country? A hardship is a hardship. My POV was that you can make it work, if you HAVE to, even for just right now.

Quoting Ryloonjimama:" I didn't say you don't know anything, but you clearly have no experience about what it means to have ... [snip!] ... it means to have a special needs child. She's going to need one on one care and attention. That can't be provided by a daycare."

THANK YOU. People seem to be forgetting the fact that she has Down Syndrome here   She needs to be worked with everyday with her physical therapy and exercises, something that most likely won't be able to be provided at a daycare, where they have many other children who also need their attention. Not to mention all of the appointments and things I have to take her to, i'm sure the daycare will be able to take her to her doctor's appointments for me too, right?   Having a child with special needs is a lot more work than just having a baby without special needs.

And people seem to overlook the fact that I said I am very willing to get a job IF she DOESN'T get SSI. I am asking if I should be a SAHM IF she gets approved for SSI, which could be around $700 a month at the most.

I had plans. When I was pregnant, no one would hire me. I tried looking for work but I showed really early and no one would hire me because I was pregnant. I planned on getting a part time job and going to school. But those plans changed the moment the doctor told us after she was born that she thought she might have Down Syndrome. She needs a lot more help then a regular baby and she has needs that need met that a regular daycare probably wouldn't be able to do for her. I want to do what's best for her. You can say all you want that I am choosing to stay at home, and that i'm lazy, but i'm not. Having a child born with DS is no freakin walk in the park, and i'm doing everything I can to make sure she gets everything she needs and has the best learning environment possible (which includes the private therapy we're trying to get her into, payed for by the SSI) so she has as little learning delays as possible. This is not as easy as you may think it is.

Quoting Nova and Nessa's Momma:" THANK YOU. People seem to be forgetting the fact that she has Down Syndrome here   She needs to ... [snip!] ... her into, payed for by the SSI) so she has as little learning delays as possible. This is not as easy as you may think it is. "

So she does have DS? I remember reading one of your threads I think it was when she was first born.

My heart goes out to you darling, it cant be easy. <3

Quoting Ryloonjimama:" I didn't say you don't know anything, but you clearly have no experience about what it means to have ... [snip!] ... it means to have a special needs child. She's going to need one on one care and attention. That can't be provided by a daycare."

http://www.care.com/special-needs-seattle-wa-p1049-q1943706.html

Just saying....

Quoting Brittney Ivanov:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:</b>" That's not necessarily true...But ... [snip!] ... "</blockquote> You're getting a degree while being a single parent. You knows something's. ;) what is your major btw?"

I'm not a single mom just yet. I was in a relationship for a while but left him because he's an ass.   I'm 22 though so I'm almost done. I'm doing Business Administration with a focus in accounting. After I get my bachelors I am going to start my CPA certification training.

Quoting Nova and Nessa's Momma:" THANK YOU. People seem to be forgetting the fact that she has Down Syndrome here   She needs to ... [snip!] ... her into, payed for by the SSI) so she has as little learning delays as possible. This is not as easy as you may think it is. "

Like we said if you're okay with living off of the government with no financial security...go ahead. That's your problem. You better just hope and pray nothing happens to either you or you SO to where you need the extra money.

Quoting bia.:" So she does have DS? I remember reading one of your threads I think it was when she was first born. My heart goes out to you darling, it cant be easy. <3"

Yeah, we found out about 2-3 weeks after she was born if I remember correctly.

Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:" http://www.care.com/special-needs-seattle-wa-p1049-q1943706.html Just saying...."

So i'm supposed to drive across the state every day I would have to work to get appropriate child care? That makes perfect sense. Not to mention I already said I do NOT feel comfortable leaving my kids with someone I don't know OR trust.

You can spout your smurf like you know my situation, but you don't. I wasn't born into some rich ass family who could provide everything for me if I ever ran into financial trouble, I had to work for everything I have, my mother had to work her ass off to support us, and compared to my meth addicted sister and my alcoholic brother, i'm doing pretty damn well. Yes we have some state help, and some help from my tribe, but that's what it's there for, to help needy families until they get on their feet. You don't know anything about me or my family, and you damn sure don't know how hard it is to raise a child with special needs, obviously.

We are doing just fine now, and our girls get everything they need. We have run into a few money troubles here and there, such as our car breaking down a few times but guess what, we figured out how to pay for and fix it BY OURSELVES. I don't have to hope and pray for smurf, because I've always been able to make sure my family is taken care of, no matter how I do it, and I always will be able to, I will make damn sure.

I am 20 years old with two children, one with special needs. And I have been able to make sure they have a roof over their head and food to eat, and they are both two very happy, thriving little girls, because of ME. I was about to go off to college across the state, then I found out I was pregnant with my first. My plans changed, but I wouldn't trade being their momma for the world because those two little girls mean everything to me. I may not be able to give them everything they deserve, but I make damn sure they get everything they need, and I always put their needs before my own. And yeah, for now our family may need some help from the state, but I'd rather use that help now when we actually need it, then to live my life doing some crappy job, living in a crappy apartment, because I chose to get a crappy job now that I know I would be able to get, instead of going to school like my SO is doing to better our education and widen our job range so we can better support ourselves in the future. At least me and my SO are working towards giving them the best future we can, and in order to do that we need some help. There is no shame in admitting that. We are young parents who didn't do everything right before we had kids, but we are doing everything we can to better ourselves so in the future, we can give our girls everything I want for them. And when Ness is older and doesn't need so much help, I will definitely be going back to school. But right now, depending on if we get approved for SSI or not, she needs me NOW. You can make me feel like crap all you want to, I know that if we get that extra money from SSI each month, that the best thing I can do for my baby and my older daughter is to stay home and raise my kids myself, instead of having someone else do it for me.

This ended up turning into a complete and total pissing match.

The main thing here is that babies with DS need as much structure as they possibly can. It is absolutely essential to her development and keeping her on track to have the same schedule, care, and people in her life every day. At a daycare, she would have to see new faces, workers and children, on a daily basis, and that kind of over-stimulation can hinder development so badly. I've seen kids that couldn't talk at 4 years old or kids that weren't potty trained by 6 just because that didn't have that EMOTIONAL stability.

Jessi may not be the best off financially, but as long as they have ANY kind of money and she is able to stay at home, I would suggest that she do that. A basic daycare is NOT going to be equipped enough to handle Ness. They won't be able to train people specifically to deal with her, and it is very rare that physical therapists make daycare visits. They need to work with one or both parents as much as possible to keep the baby confident and steadily maturing.

As for them taking advantage of loans...it is a LOAN. He'll have to pay that back WHEN he has a career. That isn't taking advantage of anyone as far as I'm concerned....it's borrowed money, not "free" money.

She's talked about her tribal money in the past. They're practically a family. Even IF something did happen (knock on wood) she and her family would be able to find ways to work it out. She has cultural help that a lot of us can't even begin to identify with.

Even if she gets SSI, and the state pays for the daycare, the money wouldn't be worth giving up Nessa's emotional needs. I'm glad that most of you sound like you've never had to deal with a child with special needs, but it's not just about finding a good daycare. No daycare is good enough to replace the stability that comes from constant care and love from a familiar face.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:</b>" http://www.care.com/special-needs-seattle-wa-p1049-q1943706.html Just saying...."</blockquote>


Just saying what? I'm not sure exactly what you think you proved.

Not everyone wants to leave their children in the care of a stranger they found advertising babysitting services over the Internet.

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" This ended up turning into a complete and total pissing match. The main thing here is that babies with ... [snip!] ... good daycare. No daycare is good enough to replace the stability that comes from constant care and love from a familiar face. "

Besides, unless all of Ness' appointments, physical therapy visits, and doctors visits are the same day and time from week to week, it'll be hard for her to keep a job anyway. Most employers need at least two weeks notice on days off or scheduling problems. If she can't be a reliable worker (no offense Jessi!) because of Nessa, then they'll find someone who is. It'd be much better for everyone if she could work, but everyone might as well be saying it would be better for everyone if she didn't have DS. That may be true, but nothing can change that fact, and it sounds like these guys are doing the best that they can to find a happy medium between ALL of their problems.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nova and Nessa's Momma:</b>" So i'm supposed to drive across the state every day I would have to work to get appropriate child care? ... [snip!] ... can do for my baby and my older daughter is to stay home and raise my kids myself, instead of having someone else do it for me."</blockquote>




I only read the first paragraph but the point was that there are specialized day cares out there. So you can't say that a DS child wouldn't fit well in a nursery. Obviously you would put your own zip code in there. I don't know your city so I just did a general search of Washington.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ryloonjimama:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:</b>" http://www.care.com/special-nee ... [snip!] ... everyone wants to leave their children in the care of a stranger they found advertising babysitting services over the Internet."</blockquote>




If you'd err done a research paper you'd know that the Internet is just a starting point to finding what you want.
I've come to the conclusion that OP wants to struggle and live off of the government and that she can do.