This is super long but please help me understand! And FB friends, please don't say anything. We just had our third little girl in September. Back story first.. All three of our girls have been delivered via c-section; first was emergency, second and third were scheduled. About 5 minutes before my third, I had a really bad panic attack because I was scared to death something was going to go wrong and I didn't want to put my older girls through it (they're 5 and almost 4.) My husband and I have known each other our whole lives, and since I was old enough to know I wanted kids, I've always said I wanted 4. That was until right before my c-section and since then, I've said I can't put my girls through it. I've had three amazing and easy c-sections (minus the first) and three very healthy children, I just can't emotionally put myself through something going wrong because I'm stubborn and want another child. Anyway, we both had decided we wanted to get "fixed"; him over Thanksgiving and me once I'm done breastfeeding (both our own decisions) He has said since started trying to get pregnant last year that this would be it for us. I always laughed it off because he said that after our second was born. It took 3 years of convincing him to have another one. Well today he brings up having another baby before we get the procedure's done. I mean I love the idea, we can emotionally, physically and financially take care of another child but it's me emotionally not wanting to because of the possibility of something going wrong during pregnancy or even during my c-section. I couldn't leave my girls without a mom, they need me. Honestly, if I could have a VBA3C, I would have another baby in a heartbeat...but I'm not even sure I could. Ugh, why did he have to bring it up? I had my mind set and now I don't know what to think. I'm second guessing myself. Has anyone gone through this? How did you handle it? And/or what did you decide to do?