How do you deal?

I was trying for that when we ha our son. We were living with SO's sister at that point and I'd be trying to calm him down and get him to bed and she would come in talking loudly and taking photos with flash and then being all "oh I'll hold him" when he'd start screaming!


One night when I was still waiting for my milk to come in, he was screaming and she kept trying to take him off me but I was trying to keep him on nursing to help get it going and I was like "you don't have what he wants! Leave us alone!" I was so over it. She stopped being so annoying after that. Sometimes you have to put them in their place.

I struggle with the same thing...

I think that you just need to talk to your family...Tell them the way it is, that this is how you want to do things. As bad as it sound, it's probably the method I'm going to use, and it's to put them on a bit of a guilt trip...I really appreciate your help, and I really want you to be involved with the baby, but it's so stressful when you're not willing to go with the plan I laid out, and I don't think the stress is good for me or the baby.

Just make it very clear how you're doing things, I guess, is all you can do. And be willing to compromise when someone doesn't do things your way. (Because you know it'll happen!)

You should! YOU are that childs mother. If you want to parent a certain way, and have certain rules that is your right as his mother!

When he is on a good schedule like you want, and you are both happy and healthy you will know you did the right thing. If your family cant deal, their issue. Id be putting my foot down and saying you either get on board, or ill be getting him on a good schedule alone. Once hes on that schedule, ill let you know what times work best for us and please some see us then! and RESPECT me as his mother.

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" Please don't quote! With overbearing family? I've started thinking about it more and more. When my ... [snip!] ... to be the type that says "if you don't do it my way, you can't care for my child." I'm not going to hold that over their heads."

The way I look at it... Until they can respect me as a parent instead of treating me like their daughter/daughter-in-law/granddaughter that doesn't know any better, they're not to care for my son while I'm not around. They all need to realise that LO is my son and what I say goes, and they may have done things differently but they have to follow my style of parenting when it comes to my baby. My mother is already trying to get me to let her take my son for the night and he's ten days old! Also, I don't want him staying anywhere until his speech is good enough to tell us if anything happens, eg "nanna smacked me, gave me lollies, let me sit on my ass in front of the tv all day". It's safer that way. Plus my mother isn't the best parent in the world so I'm hesitant about letting her take him even then. So far I'm avoiding the subject, but when she mentions it I laugh and say "like hell, he's only ten days old".

Quoting SulleyNZ:" The way I look at it... Until they can respect me as a parent instead of treating me like their dau ... [snip!] ... him even then. So far I'm avoiding the subject, but when she mentions it I laugh and say "like hell, he's only ten days old"."

My family keep telling me "oh, you're gonna want people to take him when you're exhausted and want a nap.." and I'm just like...no. Yeah, if you want to come over and watch him for an hour or two so I can take a nap, it's all fine! But....I'm not going to send my child off just so I can take a nap. At least not until he's 3 or 4 months old.

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" My family keep telling me "oh, you're gonna want people to take him when you're exhausted and want a ... [snip!] ... it's all fine! But....I'm not going to send my child off just so I can take a nap. At least not until he's 3 or 4 months old."

My family say the same thing. They still see me as the irresponsible teenager and think I'll want to dump my baby the first chance I get to go partying to catch up on some sleep. My mother did that with me, pawned me off on whoever would take me to do her own thing and I am NOT doing that to my baby. I just smile and nod, and think to myself that they have no idea what the smurf they're talking about and they can get as offended as they like, I'm doing things my way  

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" My family keep telling me "oh, you're gonna want people to take him when you're exhausted and want a ... [snip!] ... it's all fine! But....I'm not going to send my child off just so I can take a nap. At least not until he's 3 or 4 months old."

I didn't really want anyone else to even hold my son the first several months, let alone take him for a couple hours, lol. Any time someone would hold him, I'd be right there making sure he didn't cry or anything. Now, after he hit a year old it was a different story! Just tell them that you will let them know when you need a break. But at the same time understand that your LO is an addition to their family too and everyone loves a newborn baby, lol!