Anyah Eliza Linzetti 10/11/12

On October 9th 2012 I was checked into the hopsital for having very horrible abdominal pain that turned into contractions. At that point I was 34 weeks pregnant with my first child. Her name was to be Anyah Eliza. I was given Indocin to stop labor and it worked. Although the doctor felt that I should stay in the hospital for a few days due to high bp and I was swollen. On October 11 I was in a deep sleep and suddenly awoken by the enormous feeling that I had to go to the restroom. So I unhooked my monitors and removed the blankets to find blood. Anyah still had a heartbeat but not a great one. The nurse came running in and checked me. She called the on call doctor and I was told I needed to push immediately because her heartbeat was dropping lower and lower. As I begin to push I completely black out and had a minor seizure.I had an emergency c section that I was completely out for. Upon waking up all I could ask was to see my daughter and all at once my world came crashing down when I looked into there eyes. Nothing in the world will ever be able to describe the feeling. My husband came to me and held my hand as the doctor informed me that Anyah was born at 5:37pm on october 11 weighing 3lbs 8 oz. She was a still born. I have the overwhelming feeling that nothing and no one will ever bring up from this. I am sitting in what would be her room and imagining life with her. But when I come back to reality, it hits me as hard as the moment I found out. I did get to hold her and I chose not to take pictures. I could barely even look at her without feeling that I was going to stop breathing. Someone please tell me that I am going to be able to live again..

Thanks for reading. Have a blessed day.

I'm so sorry...no one should have to go through this. You're in my thoughts.

Sorry about your loss. Saying a prayer to help ease your heart and also for your family during your loss. ((((hugs))))  

I am so sorry for your loss   RIP little one

Thanks everyone.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  

I am crying for you. I pray your heart heals mama. <3 Please make a little memorial for her, plant a her birth month flower or a tree in her honour. give yourself some closure. You'll never completely heal.. but we do move on. I'm so, so sorry. No one should ever have to feel your pain. ever.

Quoting Squid Kid:" I am crying for you. I pray your heart heals mama. <3 Please make a little memorial for her, plant ... [snip!] ... closure. You'll never completely heal.. but we do move on. I'm so, so sorry. No one should ever have to feel your pain. ever."

That is a great idea! Thank you so much.

As hard as it is to imagine, you will live. And you have to live for her. I agree with the other mama, make a memorial for her. Don't try pushing her out of your mind either. Remember every moment you had with her. Is gonna be hard, unbearable even, but you have to find the strength to live. You're in my thoughts, I'm so sorry this happened to you.

i am so sorry. I lost my daughter 6 weeks ago and i wish i knew how to make it better but im still figuring it out too. Im here for you.

Quoting BG Secrets:" That is a great idea! Thank you so much."

With out MMC, we buried the body with a Japanese maple, so that they would become part of the tree and live on through the tree. I made a memorial statue (you could do a stone, too) and put it near the base of the tree. It really helped me to begin living the rest of my life and to bring closure to theirs.

You could just do a memorial planting of a tree and keep her ashes with you (if you decided you wanted to keep them) and get a personalized memorial stone off Etsy to put under the tree or flower. You can continue to care for it in her memory and give all your love into its care.

I'd also suggest getting a sky lantern, writing a letter to her and releasing it into the sky for her spirit <3

I am very sorry for your loss. No one should ever have to go through that pain. My condolences to you and your family.

Quoting BG Secrets:" On October 9th 2012 I was checked into the hopsital for having very horrible abdominal pain that turned ... [snip!] ... to stop breathing. Someone please tell me that I am going to be able to live again.. Thanks for reading. Have a blessed day."

Very sorry for your loss!In 2008 my daughter was born early only weighing a pound.She passed away shorty after birth.I felt so surreal and at times had the lowest points in my life.Now 4 years later i am doing so much better!I have a 20 month old who i appricate more then most!The first year after candaces death was the hardest by far for me.It turned from a sad that haunted me everyday to a sad that i am now at peace with.It will get better even though right now it seems impossible.

I'm sooooo story for your loss. You're sooooo strong. You will live again, it'll take time.

Thanks for all the support and words. I appreciate it all.