What would be the right thing?

If a man and woman have a one night stand and the woman ends up pregnant and he makes it clear from day one that he wants nothing to do with the baby but she goes through with the pregnancy and keeps it, should a future family of his have less priority than the child he voiced he never wanted?



ETA: Helloooo run on sentence. lol

good question

Quoting Squeekerz:" If a man and woman have a one night stand and the woman ends up pregnant and he makes it clear from day ... [snip!] ... with the pregnancy and keeps it, should a future family of his have less priority than the child he voiced he never wanted?"

Well regardless he still would need to pay child support but otherwise if he chooses to have a family in the future that will be his priority, fair or not. I would feel bad for the child he didn't want though.

Yes I believe even though a man might not want to be the father his family should be able to see the baby because it is blood and a kid should know his other family too. My ex hasn't gotten my son anything really since I left but he did come see him and wants to be there but he doesn't seem to care much, but anyway his mom sends my son presents and toys she's very great.

To me I think a man should be able to say if he wants the child or not but it needs to be done within a certain time frame, I guess you could say like an abortion for the father. A woman can decide she does not want the child and have an abortion I think a man should have the same right.

I hope that makes sense

She should resepct what he wants and say ok see ya. Dont ask for CS, get full custoday and be the mother she wanted to be

Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" Well regardless he still would need to pay child support but otherwise if he chooses to have a family ... [snip!] ... to have a family in the future that will be his priority, fair or not. I would feel bad for the child he didn't want though."

Yes, it is sad for the child, that's sure. What happens if he paid CS at first but then lost his job, got drowned in back CS, and took forever to find a job? When he does get a job, it doesn't pay much at all, barely enough to take care of his wife and kids, but the one night stand keeps hitting him hard for CS and pushing getting his license taken, or him arrested, etc... is that fair?

Quoting Wolfskrieger:" Yes I believe even though a man might not want to be the father his family should be able to see the ... [snip!] ... and wants to be there but he doesn't seem to care much, but anyway his mom sends my son presents and toys she's very great. "

I can definitely understand that.

No, the family he wants should come first.

IMO he should have legal channels open to him so he can refused to be forced into fatherhood.

Quoting wilde_mommy:" To me I think a man should be able to say if he wants the child or not but it needs to be done within ... [snip!] ... can decide she does not want the child and have an abortion I think a man should have the same right. I hope that makes sense"

It definitely makes sense, and I feel like it should actually be allowed. It's more like giving your kid up for adoption over abortion though, but it's an amazing idea. Men should have choices too.

Quoting mamaluvsher4babies:" She should resepct what he wants and say ok see ya. Dont ask for CS, get full custoday and be the mother she wanted to be"

I completely agree.

Quoting Squeekerz:" Yes, it is sad for the child, that's sure. What happens if he paid CS at first but then lost his job, ... [snip!] ... the one night stand keeps hitting him hard for CS and pushing getting his license taken, or him arrested, etc... is that fair?"

I don't know. I understand how some think he should have no responsibility if he said from the very beginning but I also feel like if he didn't do enough to help prevent pregnancy (not saying that is the case) he is responsible. If the father was going through all of that and I was his wife I would not think it was fair but sometimes that is the price you pay when you have a child you are not taking responsibility for .

Quoting ag iompar clainne (16w):" No, the family he wants should come first. IMO he should have legal channels open to him so he can refused to be forced into fatherhood."

Does it make him a deadbeat to not be able to pay CS at some point, yet still provide for his family - Like, he paid CS for years and suddenly lost his job, which built up back CS and caused him to not be able to catch up even after he gets a minimum wage job?

Quoting Squeekerz:" Does it make him a deadbeat to not be able to pay CS at some point, yet still provide for his family ... [snip!] ... suddenly lost his job, which built up back CS and caused him to not be able to catch up even after he gets a minimum wage job?"

Sounds like a terrible situation.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Squeekerz:</b>" Does it make him a deadbeat to not be able to pay CS at some point, yet still provide for his family ... [snip!] ... suddenly lost his job, which built up back CS and caused him to not be able to catch up even after he gets a minimum wage job?"</blockquote>

I really don't like answering hypotheticals when it feels like I'm being guided to justify a specific situation I know nothing about.