re: What would be the right thing?

Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" I don't know. I understand how some think he should have no responsibility if he said from the very ... [snip!] ... not think it was fair but sometimes that is the price you pay when you have a child you are not taking responsibility for ."

Yeah. It's a hard question depending on circumstance. I actually had a similar issue in my own life. BD and I had our first child and he was fine with it. He knocked me up a second time and said we couldn't support her so he was not on board at all. I sorta understand his position in not wanting to pay for her, while being willing to pay CS for DS.

If a women doesn't want to be a mom, she doesn't have to...correct?

It should be the same way for a man. He can sign over his rights and be done. Just like a women can have an abortion.

Quoting ag iompar clainne (16w):" <blockquote><b>Quoting Squeekerz:</b>" Does it make him a deadbeat to not be able ... [snip!] ... don't like answering hypotheticals when it feels like I'm being guided to justify a specific situation I know nothing about."

haha. Yeah, it is based on a situation. I know someone where something similar is happening. I'm not really sure what's going on financially with them, which is why it is all hypothetical. Someone said that the first child should take priority over the current family though, and that any money spent on fun things for the family is taking money away from the little girl/boy that was a result of a one night stand. That didn't sit quite right with me, just because it didn't feel fair to me. Sure, he should do what he can to start paying CS ASAP, but to put financial stress on his family doesn't seem right.

Quoting May ♥:" If a women doesn't want to be a mom, she doesn't have to...correct? It should be the same way for a man. He can sign over his rights and be done. Just like a women can have an abortion."

I've had a discussion about that before, actually. I don't think a man shouldn't have a choice that women do.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Squeekerz:</b>" haha. Yeah, it is based on a situation. I know someone where something similar is happening. I'm not ... [snip!] ... to me. Sure, he should do what he can to start paying CS ASAP, but to put financial stress on his family doesn't seem right."</blockquote>




I thought whats said in that thread had to stay in that thread?

Quoting May ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Squeekerz:</b>" haha. Yeah, it is based on a situation. I know ... [snip!] ... on his family doesn't seem right."</blockquote> I thought whats said in that thread had to stay in that thread?"

Pfft   I'm not linking anything or naming names, not to mention this is a legit question. My situation isn't quite the same, but BD didn't want DD but I didn't give her up for adoption when he pushed for it through my entire pregnancy. The answers here sorta apply to that too.

Quoting May ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Squeekerz:</b>" haha. Yeah, it is based on a situation. I know ... [snip!] ... on his family doesn't seem right."</blockquote> I thought whats said in that thread had to stay in that thread?"

if she isnt saying names or isnt linkin i dont see a problem

Quoting Amanda Sixx |18 wks|:" if she isnt saying names or isnt linkin i dont see a problem"

Oh alright I wasn't sure.  

Quoting May ♥:" Oh alright I wasn't sure.  "

dont trip ;)

Quoting May ♥:" If a women doesn't want to be a mom, she doesn't have to...correct? It should be the same way for a man. He can sign over his rights and be done. Just like a women can have an abortion."

Well too bad a majority of women won't allow the man to sign over the rights, simply because they want to collect CS money, I posted a similar thread a few days back. My dad was always around for my older sister and not for me. My mom never went after him for CS money. She said she "couldn't find him" even though my sister and I lived in the same neighborhood(same dad different moms)

A woman has abortion option for a child that she clearly doesn't want. A man can make it clear that he doesn't want the child but really has no say so in the situation. Not really fair, but more of a reason to be extra careful when sex is concerned and a reason someone may want to rethink one night stands.