re: questions for those who spank

1. How hard do you spank? It's hard enough to get his attention but not hard enough to hurt him. (Though he screams bloody murder like I just cut his leg off.   )
2. How long do the "marks" you leave (if any whether accident or not) stay behind on the skin? I never leave marks. IF his skin even turns red, it returns to normal color rather quickly.
a.) did you feel bad about the "marks"? No, I don't feel bad because if it's come to spanking, he deserved it.
3. Do you spank on a bare behind or not? It just depends on what he's wearing, but I won't pull his pants down to spank.
4. How many times do you spank in a row? 3-5 times.
5. Are there situations or places you go where you refuse to spank bc of judgment from others? When in public he's USUALLY pretty good and I can sense a meltdown coming a mile away, so he gets a warning that he's headed that way and we switch directions to avoid it getting out of hand. But I'll take him home rather than swat him and risk him screaming his head off dramatically and disturbing people.
6. Does your SO/inlaws, parents, etc spank your kid(s) and do you say anything against them? My dad sometimes spanks him if nothing else is working. Spanking is our last resort. SO and my parents have permission to spank if it gets to that point because he needs to respect them the way he respects me.
7. Anything else you want to add?/ How did you arrive at spanking as a form of punishment you'd use? My parents spanked us if we got out of hand. SO's parents spanked him and his siblings if they got out of hand. So we use it as a last resort if nothing else is working. I don't believe in excluding forms of discipline because there isn't one set punishment that works for EVERY kid in EVERY situation. Obviously I'm raising my child, not abusing him so I'm not going to beat him with objects or hang him by his toes or anything drastic. But time outs, stern voices, spanking, redirection, explaining why we don't do things, forcing him to clean up the mess/fix what he broke, taking toys/privileges away, etc.. It's all fair game just depending on what works for him and the situation.

Quoting DifferentDay:" Thank you for answering honestly   The marks, I guess I meant the redness.. If she's in the shower ... [snip!] ... my knee, raise my hand to, and then it comes down with so much less force than I thought. She's laughed at me before bc of it."

Oh god... being red? My daughter's bum is red any time I spank her for a few minutes. I hold her hand and her hand is red. I pick her up and her sides are red... she's also very fair skinned. Anyone who actually spanks their child and says it isn't red at all is lying. You'd have to give their ass a high-five for it to never be the slightest bit pink.

I didn't add. My SO never spanks. He makes me do it when it gets so out of hand. I think it's because he's quite strong and wouldn't know how to do it without hurting them. It's out of his boundaries to spank. I do not allow anyone else to spank my child. NO ONE. I don't care what they did... it's not okay with me.

Quoting *Cade*Mak*Col*:" My daughter is the challenge. Girls, I swear. My son... I never have to punish him. EVER. He never misbehaves. ... [snip!] ... her way it's an hour-long tantrum. It's ridiculous. I have raised them the same... my only explanation is that she's a girl."

I have two girl and the temper tantrums are equal as far as duration and intensity! They've taught one another to kick at the doors, throw stuff, say "no way mama no way!", and scream at the top of their lungs like they were being murdered. I'm hoping it's a boy this time, I need a break from the estrogen!!!

Quoting DifferentDay:" I have two girl and the temper tantrums are equal as far as duration and intensity! They've taught one ... [snip!] ... at the top of their lungs like they were being murdered. I'm hoping it's a boy this time, I need a break from the estrogen!!!"

YES! this is my daughter. It's unbelievable. I would love to just put her in her room and walk away and let her scream it out. I'm sure it would be fine that way... but it's right next to my bedroom where my infant sleeps and she kicks the walls.. throws things... I would be afraid she would bust a hole through the wall. She gets the baby screaming and my head is exploding and I feel like it's my only option. Lately it hasn't worked, though. I've had to take her to the garage to let her scream her head off until she finishes. She says "Im done" when she feels like stopping. It's ridiculous.

Quoting *Cade*Mak*Col*:" Oh god... being red? My daughter's bum is red any time I spank her for a few minutes. I hold her hand ... [snip!] ... and says it isn't red at all is lying. You'd have to give their ass a high-five for it to never be the slightest bit pink."

Yeah those moments it turns red I have like a mini panic attack and start bawling... I guarantee though I don't spank her no where's near to stop the behavior or w/e. Kinda a wimp when it comes to spanking the kids.

Hubby spanks, but he's heavy handed he doesn't like to spank though. I tend to tell him to spank when they're out of control bc he's a pushover as well, but when he does it.... I snap at him like "not so hard next time!" so it's most likely counter productive. I got lots of smu*f for it before on here, but yeah my neighbor spanked my oldest without permission to do so, and ever since that I flip if anyone like MIL/her husband, my hubby, my mom/dad, etc spank the girls.

I only spank once, I hate spanking in public bc I worry too much about other people judging not bc it will disturb them to hear the kid cry though for a spanking. I think I answered all of the questions.

Oh we got to spanking when nothing else was working n my mom suggested it athough she never really did spank me as a kid. One good backhand for backtalking when I was 7 did the trickt, that and she carried a wooden spoon in the car and her purse as a threat. Never used it. My aunt who babysat me more than I saw my own mom..she would throw stuff like shoes, hangers, threaten with a belt but never carry it through. Gma my other babysitter would smack our mouths for backtalking or cursing but she was a pushover otherwise.

Quoting *Cade*Mak*Col*:" YES! this is my daughter. It's unbelievable. I would love to just put her in her room and walk away and ... [snip!] ... the garage to let her scream her head off until she finishes. She says "Im done" when she feels like stopping. It's ridiculous."

oh my oldest has put holes in her walls from kicking them or throwing stuff. It's like..the biggest dramatic thing she can do, she does it. I cannot leave her in her room bc she flips the twin beds they have, rips curtains down, finds books and shreds them, etc. My youngest is picking it up quickly! But sometimes I can't handle it so I have to just let them scream it out in their room. We've taken toys out of there and kinda baby proofed it all over again but for tantrums. There's really nothing they can break or hurt themselves with and when I know a huge blowout is coming I grab anything they can destroy outta there like books (lesson learned) curtain/rod. They go back and forth for 2 hours if they're not separated. One starts, then stops the other keeps it going til she's tired, then the other is all nice and rested so it starts up again.

1. How hard do you spank? Umm...not hard? I only spank with my 3 fingers, if that makes any sense.

2. How long do the "marks" you leave (if any whether accident or not) stay behind on the skin? There are none.

a.) did you feel bad about the "marks"? There are none.

3. Do you spank on a bare behind or not? Diaper or if he is wearing pants.

4. How many times do you spank in a row? Once.

5. Are there situations or places you go where you refuse to spank bc of judgment from others? No, but I've never had a "problem" while out.

6. Does your SO/inlaws, parents, etc spank your kid(s) and do you say anything against them? No, they do not.

7. Anything else you want to add?/ How did you arrive at spanking as a form of punishment you'd use? I've spanked him for running out in the street and another time for pulling down the oven door and attempting to climb on it.

The other times I have spanked him have been to get his attention, it's not a form of discipline. None of DH's family touches him, especially my FIL. They're firm believers in corporal punishment and I am not. Spanking or what I do, is more of a last resort. When he's crying so hard and hitting me, or throwing things I will tap his butt to get his attention. I don't consider it spanking, but I know the anti spankers would probably damn me to hell for it.

1. How hard do you spank?
It's like a quick tap.
2. How long do the "marks" you leave (if any whether accident or not) stay behind on the skin?
No marks.
a.) did you feel bad about the "marks"?
n/a
3. Do you spank on a bare behind or not?
no.
4. How many times do you spank in a row?
Once.
5. Are there situations or places you go where you refuse to spank bc of judgment from others?
I don't spank him in public.
6. Does your SO/inlaws, parents, etc spank your kid(s) and do you say anything against them?
My DH and my mom does. I just tell DH to ease up because he spanks hard.
7. Anything else you want to add?/ How did you arrive at spanking as a form of punishment you'd use?
My mom spanked me when I was little. She actually hit hard and it wasn't limited to my behind. So if I'm a disciplined adult with no "trauma" or "attachment disorders" today then I think my kids could handle a tap to the behind. That being said, I only spank as a last resort - when he absolutely refuses to listen or does something really bad. Usually it's time-out or removing him from the scene.

I have a 7 & 5 yr old, both boys, and I spank them. I try other ways of punishment if I can, for example to my 7 yr old no xbox for a week is torture beyond any spanking, but it all depends on the thing the child does wrong. I was raised in the south were "hickory spankings" were the norm and my mama had a special belt