Quoting Is that still my name?:" Ha ha. That's how I am once I'm actually into a guy. I'm either totally repulsed or totally feeling cray cray because I'm into them. BE careful with him though! Hard to say I know!"
had a great night last night.
ok... so I was insistent I was not going to bring up what we're doing, how he feels etc... but we had a good evening. And during sex, he randomly said "I love you too"
smurf. smile. damn it lol
so after we were laying there.. he asked me what was wrong. NOTHING. Im happy.... BUT... I said.. "ok, I'm fine with taking this one day at a time, not rushing into planning a future, picking up where we left off, but, you can't be reserved after all this time about how you feel about ME, just about the situation, and the future. You can't just love me during sex."
he says I don't just love you during sex. I told him "I" know that.... but HE needs to know that. I know he loves me, I've known every day for the last 14 months we should be together.. he's the one having trouble figuring this smurf out. told him it's awkward, that we can't just start fresh, we're too comfortable around each other. we know each other too well. He laughed and agreed, said he didn't realize he was being reserved. that he's happy, glad I'm here, etc... and that the other day he could tell I thought something was off, but he was stressed about work.
I told him I love him, and want to be with him, and he can always tell me that stuff. If I'm here, and he is stressed and needs to get something for work done.. he can do it. I don't expect his life to stop when I walk in his front door. I know we've been apart for awhile, but he needs to remember I'm pretty laid back.
so.. spent the night because I was on call at work. This morning I was getting ready to head home, he slept late because I kept him up late (haha!) and he said I could just hang out here today if I want since I'm coming back tonight. (hour drive) that he has work to do, but he's ok with me being here.
so... i'm here. : ) and it's comfortable. this is what I want. Just... being together. ugh..sound stupid? sorry for the long post! Going to work on homework today, and waste time on BG. and.. just be happy