re: F@cking over his smurf.

Quoting Turd Ferguson:" Don't even for a second pretend you wouldn't be emotionally rocked and need an outlet *if* the father ... [snip!] ... going to be a father. Not all dads start out not wanting to care for the child. My daughter was 6 when this all came to be."

Oh i'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that in general, women shouldn't expect it to happen. It wasn't necessarily 100% directed at this situation. BUT when keeping a baby, a woman has a choice, the man doesn't. I hate how it's all about what the mom wants and feels and doesn't consider a man. It's just as much the fault of both parties so why does the one person get to decide the fate of both.

Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:" Oh i'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that in general, women shouldn't expect it to happen. ... [snip!] ... doesn't consider a man. It's just as much the fault of both parties so why does the one person get to decide the fate of both."

I don't think anything you are adding to this conversation even remotely applies to the OP.

Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:" I hate to say it but it's your responsibility to care for her, even without support. You had the baby ... [snip!] ... is allowed to end a pregnancy but men are damned even if they want nothing to do with a child they're still forced to pay."

I respect your opinion, but I have a different opinion When I got pregnant, he said he would be there. He wanted her, and then he walked out on us. When he left he said he would pay support, and I DO take care of her 100 %. But I believe child support should be paid.

Quoting Lorelei's Mommy ♥:" but he also decided to 'put it in' fulling knowing what 'could' happen. not ALL men want nothing to do ... [snip!] ... tough.. So the women should have to do it all by herself then, because the man didnt realize what he was getting himself into?"

she isn't saying that, all she was saying is that the OP "shouldn't rely" on child support money, etc. She made it pretty clear. A lot of women rely on the child support, don't have jobs, and still get medicaid, food stamps, etc. These same women continue to have kids(Not all of them) and still want more money and they don't even try to help themselves. I know a few women like this actually and it's really sad.

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" ever thought of getting another job"

I used to work 2 jobs to support her, but she is mentally disabled with Autism, so it was very hard on her, and I had to stop

Quoting katxo:" she isn't saying that, all she was saying is that the OP "shouldn't rely" on child support money, etc. ... [snip!] ... still want more money and they don't even try to help themselves. I know a few women like this actually and it's really sad."

The whole pinning our wages against eachother thing is pretty pathetic. The last time we went to court and they did the CS calculator, since he works for cash and I work on paper, he looked like a damn peasant in comparison to me.

I don't see how the state justifies lessening what my child is entitled to based on my wages.

I have residential custody of my daughter. I carry her health insurance, pay for all medical expenses, school expenses, clothing, etc and he is required to pay me $50 a week. He's been in contempt for years over fifty bucks.

I finally told them to stop calling me to come to court. I am not missing pay to argue over $50.

Quoting katxo:" she isn't saying that, all she was saying is that the OP "shouldn't rely" on child support money, etc. ... [snip!] ... still want more money and they don't even try to help themselves. I know a few women like this actually and it's really sad."

Well I didnt see any where, unless I'm missing something, that says shes not working or simply 'relying' on his child support.
just because she gets county assistance doesn't mean she doesn't work.
And while I agree a mother should be responsible to support they're child and not just 'rely' on child support, the father still needs to support and help out and it shouldn't be solely up to the mother.

Quoting Lorelei's Mommy ♥:" Well I didnt see any where, unless I'm missing something, that says shes not working or simply 'relying' ... [snip!] ... not just 'rely' on child support, the father still needs to support and help out and it shouldn't be solely up to the mother."

exactly and it shouldn't be solely relied upon the father either. It takes two to make a baby. Listen, I get child support too and I don't go through the courts b/c like she's dealing with, it's a pain in the smurfing ass and I'd rather not deal with it. I barely get $200 a month, and if I get it, that's great but I don't rely on it. kwim? I didn't say the OP didn't have a job, but if she's getting help from the state, what is not being paid for?

Quoting katxo:" exactly and it shouldn't be solely relied upon the father either. It takes two to make a baby. Listen, ... [snip!] ... rely on it. kwim? I didn't say the OP didn't have a job, but if she's getting help from the state, what is not being paid for?"

I get stamps and medicaid, and the stamps fluctuate every month. Last month we got 150. I found a WAH job so I wouldn't have to pay a sitter. But I only work part time bringing home $ 900 a month, and my bills are $ 850 a month.

Quoting ~Boo's Mom~:" I get stamps and medicaid, and the stamps fluctuate every month. Last month we got 150. I found a WAH ... [snip!] ... job so I wouldn't have to pay a sitter. But I only work part time bringing home $ 900 a month, and my bills are $ 850 a month."

I know all about how they fluctuate. They do reviews every six months. I make too much now since I got married so I get zero. I think I pay a percentage now towards medicaid for my son to have insurance but it's not free. I get wic but it stops in dec for my son since he is turning 4. I will get it up til January since I lost my baby in July. I know how hard it is struggling w/o that extra help, believe me. Like I said, stay on top of their asses every single day. They will get tired of it.

Is your daughter receiving any SS or anything ? I imagine if her autism is that severe you would be entitled to something of help. Atleast respite care so you may get a break.

My son is on the spectrum , we don't take anything in that respect but I would if I needed it. You have a special needs child, making it all more disgraceful to me that the state has to force him to support her. Smfh.

Quoting Turd Ferguson:" Is your daughter receiving any SS or anything ? I imagine if her autism is that severe you would be entitled ... [snip!] ... it. You have a special needs child, making it all more disgraceful to me that the state has to force him to support her. Smfh."

I agree. I wasn't sure if being autistic was considered a disability, which is why I never brought up the subject of getting money from the state. I know here in florida since I live here also, that with my brother being deaf, he gets $800 a month and about $300 in food stamps, and they know he lives with our mother.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Turd Ferguson:</b>" Is your daughter receiving any SS or anything ? I imagine if her autism is that severe you would be entitled ... [snip!] ... it. You have a special needs child, making it all more disgraceful to me that the state has to force him to support her. Smfh."</blockquote>

She gets $ 1.00 a month because I work. They give her $1.00 so she can keep her Medicaid. I'm fighting with ssi now to get more.

i am going through the same thing. I have 3 boys with a guy i had been with since high school and that loser refuses to support his kids. It isnt right. He wont help with anything. And my boys love him so i feel bad keeping them apart but it just isnt right. You cant just be a parent on the fun days and not the hard days. He wanted these kids just as much as i did. I dont understand what he is thinking. I am starting child support but its a confusing process for someone who have never been through it before and lawyers are very expensive for this stuff. If i had that much money to pay a lawyer i wouldnt need the BD's money. DUH! Just know you are not alone.....

I'm right there with you... I've added up that I am owed over $14000 now... he's never going to pay off his own back. I can't take him to court because I can't find a lawyer that will fight against him because of his job! If I try to go ahead and do it myself I get harrassment. I'm in a no win situation too. I really feel for you it must be so frustrating with him treating your daughter like she's no longer important to him. She is just as important as his other children. Every child deserves the right to be supported by both parents financially and emotionally BIG Hugs for you (((((())))))