what should I do? I am engaged to a guy who I have been dating for 4.5 years and have two kids with.I love him but I have so much anger and resentment towards him. He is a good person and we have a great time together and I enjoy his company/companionship. He always is happy to see me and be with me. We have a lot in common, but I feel we have some major core differences. He is extremely selfish. Hes father is wealthy and I think this has affected his outlook on money. I am very generous with a big heart, but I find that I am always disappointed. I don’t expect to be spoiled by someone, but he spends a lot of money on his (our) house, cars, gambling when he can, but if I need $200 to go to the store, he makes me feel awkward and here we are supposed to be getting married in December. All our finances are separate, I would be fine even with a pre-nup which I know is coming, but I am not fine with having a husband who puts himself that far above me because of his money. I do expect my husband to help with car payments, medical insurance, basic stuff, I am not even talking about shopping and material things, and this is a guy who is a multi-millionaire, and I made $100k up until last year because of the economy and now until I do something else, am only making about 45k. I am worried about marrying someone who would watch me struggle and not offer to help or was that spoiled that he doesn’t have the “right” consideration for me. HELP!

I would look into counseling. I think this is something that could be addressed... I wouldn't throw the relationship out the window over it. But when you're married it should definitely all be merged.

<blockquote><b>Quoting T-Swizzle+2:</b>" I would look into counseling. I think this is something that could be addressed... I wouldn't throw the ... [snip!] ... I wouldn't throw the relationship out the window over it. But when you're married it should definitely all be merged. "</blockquote>


thanks  

Quoting T-Swizzle+2:" I would look into counseling. I think this is something that could be addressed... I wouldn't throw the ... [snip!] ... I wouldn't throw the relationship out the window over it. But when you're married it should definitely all be merged. "

 

If you are going to marry him in a month, dont you think you should be comfortable enough to discuss this with him? Money is the #1 cause for divorce. You should talk to him about it. Once you're married, everything should become "ours" and "we", not continue to be "mine" or "his".

Quoting T-Swizzle+2:" I would look into counseling. I think this is something that could be addressed... I wouldn't throw the ... [snip!] ... I wouldn't throw the relationship out the window over it. But when you're married it should definitely all be merged. "

agreed.

<blockquote><b>Quoting i ♥ nora:</b>" If you are going to marry him in a month, dont you think you should be comfortable enough to discuss ... [snip!] ... should talk to him about it. Once you're married, everything should become "ours" and "we", not continue to be "mine" or "his"."</blockquote>


yes true I've tried talking him doesn't work and Yh maybe the wedding is off.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tyannemom2kids:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting i ♥ nora:</b>" If you are going to marry him in a month, ... [snip!] ... to be "mine" or "his"."</blockquote> yes true I've tried talking him doesn't work and Yh maybe the wedding is off."</blockquote>


to him*

Quoting i ♥ nora:" If you are going to marry him in a month, dont you think you should be comfortable enough to discuss ... [snip!] ... should talk to him about it. Once you're married, everything should become "ours" and "we", not continue to be "mine" or "his"."

   

I am late to the party, but once you marry someone there should be no "yours and mine" bills. You marry them and their debt. Good luck!

<blockquote><b>Quoting We made a BabyBumpBelly:</b>" I am late to the party, but once you marry someone there should be no "yours and mine" bills. You marry them and their debt. Good luck!"</blockquote>



thanks