I can't do this smurf

I've been a single mother for a year and some. I really have been putting a happy face on for a while now because people expect me to be used to it by now. I'm not though. It takes a lot of strength for me to get out of my bed and get through the day. I still cry myself to sleep nearly every night. I've been to therapy, joined some local single mother groups, tried to keep myself occupied, tried to move on but it's been a struggle every single time. I still feel as bad as I did a year ago. I barely get out of my house. Seeing something like a happy family or a loving couple brings me to tears everytime. I've lost a lot of weight, i'm always sick. I wish I had friends that could come over and hold me or be there for me but I have no one. I wish I could be as close to my mother as I was before but she's told me she can't stand to see my face or be around me sometimes because I remind her so much of herself when she was a single mother in her twenties, and she hated her life at the time. I feel so smurfing alone. I keep saying that I can't do this anymore but nobody seems to believe me. I'm hurting so bad. I just feel like I can't fight anymore, my body has literally broken down. Please someone help me.

I need help. please. i can't go on like this

Quoting .Solange.:" I've been a single mother for a year and some. I really have been putting a happy face on for a while ... [snip!] ... me. I'm hurting so bad. I just feel like I can't fight anymore, my body has literally broken down. Please someone help me."

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. My mom is a single mother and it is HARD. Waking out of bed is an accomplishment when you are suffering from depression and other stresses that keep you paralyzed to the bed.

Your mother, to put it bluntly, is being a bitch. She, of all people, should realize that being a single mother is hard, and that you don't need her unnecessary comments.


What I suggest you do is take a nice long walk to clear your mind and a bubble bath. This will relax and distract you.

If you need to talk, my PM is always open.

I think it would help a lot if you got out of the house to meet other people, like work outside the home... If that is an option. You'd meet a lot of guys that way   or school perhaps? you haven't gotten close to any women at the single mom support groups?? You're supposed to be living it up woman!! I hope you feel better soon... I think it's a lot better than what you had in the past...

I was a single mom for 4 years...a single mom to 2 for almost 2 years...its so hard mama, its the worst feeling in the world to know there is no one put there that will ever love your baby as much as you do. But just remember this...everytime you feel this way do it anyways...you're saying you can't do this, but ypu have been for a year now...whether or not believe you can do it...ypu are...stay strong mama for yourself and that baby!

Hey love, I have no advice but if you want to pm me or text you can.

I don’t really have any advice for you, since I’ve never been in a situation like the one you are in. But I understand not having any one to confide in. I don’t really like talking to my husband about things that bother me, and so I’ll post to BG, but as everyone knows it’s not the best place. Since sometimes no one comments back or they can just be rude. But if you ever just wanna talk you can message me. Just hang in there mamma, things always get worse before they get better.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. My mom is a single mother and it is HARD. Waking out of bed is ... [snip!] ... long walk to clear your mind and a bubble bath. This will relax and distract you. If you need to talk, my PM is always open."

I just feel like i've done this so many times, distractions, trying to relax etc... but it's gotten to the point where those things dont work anymore. I can't get through the day without having these terrible thoughts and urges to cut. I can't sleep at night unless i've taken a lot of sleeping medication. I just feel like there's no hope left. I hate myself more than anything in this world. Looking at myself in the mirror, all I think is how much of a failure of a mother I am. I hate myself. I hate that my son isn't enough to get me through this tough time. I hate that I can't be patient with him at all times. I hate that I can't give him everything he deserves. I hate everything that I am

Quoting .Solange.:" I just feel like i've done this so many times, distractions, trying to relax etc... but it's gotten ... [snip!] ... that I can't be patient with him at all times. I hate that I can't give him everything he deserves. I hate everything that I am"

That is the depression talking, along with BPD. Have you been able to see a psychiatrist? Are you on any medications?

This sounds dangerous..maybe post partum psychosis..darlin you really need to get some help in your area

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" That is the depression talking, along with BPD. Have you been able to see a psychiatrist? Are you on any medications?"

Yes I have a psychiatrist and I see her soon. I'm on about 10 different medications. I feel like I can't fight these BPD ups and downs anymore. It smurfing drains me. This is a terrible disorder that literally ruins everything. I'm so angry inside for having to deal with this disease, I don't understand what I did to deserve it. I just want to be normal

Darling I've been depressed before and I have cut before. You have to think of what you need to do in order to move on. Find new friends and go have a girls night. Do not please do not cut. That's not the answer sure it feels good for a little while but the pain will still be there when you wake up if not sooner. You have to push yourself and you have to try and try hard to be happy. Find a hobby. Find a dr to talk to. PM me if you need to talk more. Just don't cut fight those urges an I know those urges are strong do not let the depression win.

Quoting .Solange.:" I've been a single mother for a year and some. I really have been putting a happy face on for a while ... [snip!] ... me. I'm hurting so bad. I just feel like I can't fight anymore, my body has literally broken down. Please someone help me."

I dont know if any words will help you but I will say this.. I was in the same boat.. I hated life.. Was depressed and miserable.. He was my 'first' real love and I thought we'd be together forever.
buttt, i literally just decided, enough was enough. I wasnt going to let another person ruin my life.. My daughter deserved soo much more. and while its soo much easier said then done, eventually it'll get easier. eventually life will be good. eventually you'll look back and think "what the smurf was I thinking, doing and feeling".
I really hope you realize how precious this life is.. There's soo many wonderful people who, one day, can and will make you happy.. and all the sadness you feel now, itll all be worth it.
If you need ANYTHING.. feel free to PM me or text..  
stay strong.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" That is the depression talking, along with BPD. Have you been able to see a psychiatrist? Are you on any medications?"</blockquote>




This!!

<blockquote><b>Quoting .Solange.:</b>" I've been a single mother for a year and some. I really have been putting a happy face on for a while ... [snip!] ... me. I'm hurting so bad. I just feel like I can't fight anymore, my body has literally broken down. Please someone help me."</blockquote>




Oh mama:-(. I'm so, so sorry this has been hurting you so much. If I could give you a huge hug right now, I'd give you two.

:hug::hug: