Should I be punished for her abortion? xxx

Hi there. Didn't think I'd be posting here but anyway here goes.... So I have never had an abortion, I don't think its wrong at all I think women should have the right to choose and I understand in some cases its the best option. Anyway my bestfriend/cousin who I have grown up with had an abortion at the begining of the year, I was there for her and supported her 100% I went with her aswell. It was her second abortion. She had one 5 years prior with the same guy who she has recently split from. I think she did it as their relationship was basically coming to an end. Anyway I told her to really think about it but she was so sure she wasn't having the baby so I went with her to the hospital and by that evening we were out. Anyway only a week or 2 later I discovered I was pregnant, first time and I am due in just 2 weeks. Anyway when the test read positive she rushed out to the shop leaving me at home, she came back and basically we had an emotional few hours to say the least. She cried, I cried, she said I should not have an abortion as I wouldn't want to go through what she had, she reassured me that I had a good support network (family, boyfriend etc and she did not) she said I didn't need to do what she did and basically told me she kind of regreted her abortion. Anyway we carried on as normal I broke the news and a few weeks later she went very flakey, blocked me from facebook and told me she had deleted her account which was not true and basically erased me from her life. We have been joined at the hip since I dont know when. Its so strange to me that this has happened. I had her up about it and she got all defensive saying I was immature and a kid having a kid even though I am almost 23. Some harsh words were said on both parts. Anyway the only reason I can think of is that I am having a baby, I totally understand and if she would of just said that I would of had sympathy, I avoided baby talk at all times. Is it right I be punished for a choice she made. Can anyway advise me on this? Do you think she can't cope seeing me with a baby after what she went through? I love her to death and I don't want to loose her and I want her to have a relationship with my son. Any advice will be greatly appreciated xxxxxxx

Sounds to me like she isn't dealing with her abortion very well. But at the same time she is being extremely childish in handling the news. I would leave her be. Let her sort out her own demons and concentrate on your growing family.

No you shouldnt be punished. You went with her for moral support and she made her decision. Don't let her get to you and just love your child

Maybe you should just let time pass by im pretty sure once your baby is born things will be perfecly normal sometimes people can get jelous of what others have since they don't have, abortions is not an easy thing to do but she probley dod what was best for her in her situation and she probley just wishes she was in tou situation with a boyfriend and a support group, might take her time to adjuste bu im sure she will  

Quoting Melanie Lanteigne:" Maybe you should just let time pass by im pretty sure once your baby is born things will be perfecly ... [snip!] ... wishes she was in tou situation with a boyfriend and a support group, might take her time to adjuste bu im sure she will  "

Thank you xxx

Thanks for all your kind words. xxx

I think she is just upset that you are now pregnant and she is not. I know it was her choice to have the abortion but seeing you know makes her feel bad. Maybe she does not know how to explain the way she is feeling. I had a miscarriage and even though I was happy for other people to have a baby I just did not want to be around them. Just give her time she will come around. Good Luck!!!

I think maybe she just needs time and space to absorb and accept the decision she made. All you can do is wait, and reassure her that you can understand what she's going through, and youll be waiting when shes ready to be a part of your life again. The last thing you want is to never talk to her again because shes embarrased to approach you. I had an abortion and saw others that i love having babies all around me, and though i didnt react like she did, it took awhile for me to accept wha ti did and move on, even though still to this day i regret my decision.

You're not being "punished" She's going through a VERY hard time and those emotions come with it. It's very normal.

Best thing you can do is send her a letter or email, saying you love her and you'll be there for her when she's ready.

One of my good friends was pregnant when I terminated and sent me a message saying that she didn't know if she'd ever be able to speak to me again.

I think if I had gotten defensive in my response, she might not have tried to be my friend again. It took time and healing on both our parts but eventually we talked about it, and we are great today and I have a great relationship with her kids.

You and her was only 2wks apart. When she looks at you, she sees what should be her. She is torn, heartbroken,hurting and just needs time and space to take it all in. I am sure the only person she is mad at is herself. She probably thinks it is best to end the friendship and let you be happy, than to be you your friend and make you both miserable. She is staying away out of love. Show up to her house and let her know how you feel and make sure she knows, you will always be waiting with open arms for her, when she is ready. Then just give her time and space to heal.
Best Wishes and good luck.

Same thing happen to me. My best friend got a abortion then a month later I found out I was pregnant. Ever since she stopped talking to me deleted me off facebook and we haven't been friends. Really weird. I think its something with the abortion and then being pregnant, I don't quite know. I just let it be, it is what it is.

Delete........