question about visitation

So how to do you single moms deal with the holidays like halloween with your kids fathers? I know in my divorce decree theres nothing that mentions halloween. DDs dad asked if he could come trick or treating with us tonight. He hasn't bothered to call or text or anything in the past two weeks. He called last night to ask if he could come and Holly invited him. I didn't really want him to but i also didn't want Holly to be disappointed. I want him to be in her life but he's making in difficult and it breaks my heart when she's crying for him.

Ask what she wants? My mom n dad would split Christmas but I had to be home for Christmas thanksgiving wa my moms and my dad had first dibs on summer break

MY DS father is going with us. At this point all you can do is let him be there when he wants. I know it sucks but she wants him there.

Quoting Holly's ♥ Mommy:" So how to do you single moms deal with the holidays like halloween with your kids fathers? I know in ... [snip!] ... to be disappointed. I want him to be in her life but he's making in difficult and it breaks my heart when she's crying for him."

My SO has custody of his son and they switch holidays. Last year Wesley was with his Mom on Christmas morning, so this year he will be with us. They do switch in the evening so they can both see him.

Quoting Click Me Click Me!!!:" Ask what she wants? My mom n dad would split Christmas but I had to be home for Christmas thanksgiving wa my moms and my dad had first dibs on summer break"

Well of course she wants him to come. she misses him like crazy but it makes me so upset when i am the one listening to her at night crying for him while he's off enjoying his life getting to do what he wants when he wants(don't get me wrong i love being in her life and watching her grow). I try to call him when she's upset but not answer. but when its at his convenience he wants to be around. i absolutely hate it. i either want him around or stay away.

with my kids we just do every other holiday and if we can get along on a day like today we do it together but it's whatever you feel comfortable with

i have sole legal and physical custody of my daughter.. my ex has nothing to really do with her.. but with his family i tend to last them have part of a holiday .. and when it came to holloween i used to stop by thier house for an hour so they could see her.. if me and ex were on good terms i would offer him the same..

Quoting Holly's ♥ Mommy:" So how to do you single moms deal with the holidays like halloween with your kids fathers? I know in ... [snip!] ... to be disappointed. I want him to be in her life but he's making in difficult and it breaks my heart when she's crying for him."

In my mediation agreement we agreed that I'd make ALL the holiday plans because no matter how pissed off i am at BD, the holidays is something i absolutely love and want to always include her dad in them. Its about family.. and while he pisses me off and we're not together, he's still her family.
For halloween, i obviously invited him, but he choose not to come.. His loss.
I try and do something separately with my family then we usually meet up and do something quick and small together, so she has the 'family' time and then i let him take her to his dads so they can see her.. or at least thats how we usually do it.
I always ask him what he wants to do. most of the time he only wants a little bit of time..