re: Does having children before marriage ...

Quoting MiniVanMafiaMom:" i know there is a stigma around people that have multiple baby mamma/daddy but honestly its not always ... [snip!] ... not always a girl refusing to use condoms and hoping on ever dick she sees lol although i know that can be the case sometimes. "

I guess I should had been a little more detailed. I agree with you 100%. I guess it's more so of wrong choices than being trashy. But then again I don't think it's 100% wrong choices either. With my SO, he jumped the gun a little to fast with his ex-girlfriend (daughters baby mama) and got her pregnant when they were only together around 4 months. But, neither one of them regrets the child and he is there for his daughter. Which, in my eyes, doesn't make neither one of them "trashy."

If I had of actually STAYED with BD and allowed someone like that to be around DD, THEN I'd probably consider myself "trash" LOL. Honestly, I don't think marriage is for me, but motherhood definitely is! And the 2 just seem independent of each other. I take care of DD and do the best I can. My life is devoted to her. I don't think I am trash just b/c I am not married.

It's not trashy! My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and have a 3 year old. I want to get married eventually but SO says he never ever wants to get married. It sucks a little but I love him and couldn't possibly think of leaving him because he doesn't want to make a "paper commitment".

Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" <blockquote><b>Quoting MiniVanMafiaMom:</b>" i think that a majority of people have ... [snip!] ... be a 'legal' marriage .... And i refusr to bow down to my father and have a Christian wedding just because it would be easier."

hold your own wedding. the piece of paper court gives you doesnt make you married, the promise you make does. or wait until you find the right place that you like. nobody else matters but you, your SO and your LOs. dont worry about what other people say or think. if they have the nerve to say harsh things to you like that, then they are not people that care about you and maybe it would be beneficial to remove them from your life.

Quoting Dude, you Fugly!:" I guess I should had been a little more detailed. I agree with you 100%. I guess it's more so of wrong ... [snip!] ... one of them regrets the child and he is there for his daughter. Which, in my eyes, doesn't make neither one of them "trashy.""

aah i gotcha!

Yay, I must be trash. lol

PPL can say what they want and judge however they want. But i dont believe in marrigae and will always have kids before marriage.

I was with my oldest dd (now 10) her dad for 1 month before I got pregnant. He left us 2 yrs later, just after she turned 1. If it were not for my best friend agreeing to have kids with me, I wouldnt have had more kids. lol

I love my kids and dont need a vow or a piece of paper to tell me I can have kids with someone. lol

I prefer for myself and my kids to have kids AFTER marriage, but someone who doesn't isn't trash. I don't see marriage as just a piece of paper but I know a lot of people do.

Eh, I see smurfs on my facebook news feed trying to rile people up by saying these types of things. I don't think it's that common though. At least not here.

I don't think I'm trash, and I could careless if anyone else does for that matter. My SO and I are good parents. Being married doesn't suddenly make you superior.

I don't see it as trashy especially if all the children share the same father. Now if you have five, six kids with multiple dudes....

I've never thought of it like that or heard that lol. Marriage is not for everyone---and sometimes you and your partner are faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Meh, could be just me as im a single mom---if people consider it trash so be it lol.

I don't think so.

I think people who have kids during casual relationships, especially multiple times and with multiple men, are trashy, but to me there's no difference between a committed long-term relationship and a marriage. I don't think my relationship to DH would be any different if we didn't have a piece of paper saying we were married. Other than filing our taxes differently. Hell, we refer to each other more often as "partner" than husband/wife anyway, many people don't know that we're actually married to begin with!

We were hoping to get married before having kids but then our daughter came along last year. We could've rushed through a marriage but we thought using the wedding money to provide for our daughter was better. We will get married one day but I don't think the order in which you do it matters these days.
If you're in a loving relationship then how can it be considered trashy. My Dad keeps saying since divorcing my mum he doesn't believe in marriage anymore and if he was my age he wouldn't rush to marry.
I hope to marry my SO but it's not at the top of our list of things to do urgently.

Not at all. Most people i know with kids arent married. I have 2.5 kids and im not married and never really plan on getting married and im not trashy at all