Missing my baby

I had a miscarriage back in Aug n and another one shortly after that,I found out my sis is prego, she is due in April, which is when I would be due, with my 1st baby, we wouldve been like a week apart. So now she's about to find out what she's having and to top it off my bf's sis n his cousin both found out they're having a girl, which is what we badly wanted n their all due around the same time I was. So now I gotta deal w/ all this, just consant reminders. I have been having a real hard time lately n almost go into tears whne I hear bout their pregnancy. I dont wanna be rude or mean but I don't wanna be hurt either, I wanna be there for my sis but it just hurts everytime I think bout my baby. Any suggestions on how or what I should do?

I went through this exact same thing. My sister called me to tell be she was pregnant with my nephew 2 weeks to the day my daughter died. At the same time both of my best friends where pregnant as well. My first godson was born a month before when my daughter should have been born and he was even born at the same hospital my daughter was born at and passed away at. I was there for his birth and let me tell you it was one of the hardest things Ive ever had to do walking back into that hospital to be there for my friend while she had her son. My second godson was born 3 months after I was due with my daughter. And finally my niece was born exactly 1 year and 5 days after my daughter was born. So my life is full of constant reminders of my daughter every time I see my godsons, my nephew, and my niece they make me think of Caydence and the fact that she should be with them playing and would she be as big as they are? Would she be on the same level as them devolopmentally or would she be ahead of them? All these questions and more run through my head every time I see them. The only advice I can give you is be honest with these people tell them how you feel regardless of weither you think it might hurt their feelings or not. I chose not to do this I chose to keep my pain to myself and all it did was hurt me more and affect my relationship with these children. My pain stopped me from getting close to these children for the longest time and it also affected my relatioship with their mothers. I lost my two very bestfriends and my sister because of this for a very long time because I chose not to voice my feelings and by doing so I chose to prolong my suffering. So talk to these people if the love you they will understand and they will help you deal with your feelings.

Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:" I went through this exact same thing. My sister called me to tell be she was pregnant with my nephew ... [snip!] ... my suffering. So talk to these people if the love you they will understand and they will help you deal with your feelings."

Oh wow, that sounds so hard. Ya i know what u mean..my bf's sis asked my bf to go w her to see what she was having n he said no cuz it would be too hard. His sis understood but his mom got a lil upset. It just seems like lately things been so hard for us. As soon as we lost the baby seems like everyone we know is prego, n yes like u I would be the same way, having all those ?s. I am there for my sis, since it's her 1st but man is it hard   We wanted this baby so bad. But i get what ur saying n I am the same way but like u said, doing that can effect things. My family gets it n understands. Man its so hard. I am sorry for ur lost.

All i keep trying to hold on to is when we have our lil girl , it will be such a blessing . So I am trying to look forward to that ,one day.

Quoting LatinaMamma3:" Oh wow, that sounds so hard. Ya i know what u mean..my bf's sis asked my bf to go w her to see what she ... [snip!] ... way but like u said, doing that can effect things. My family gets it n understands. Man its so hard. I am sorry for ur lost."

I avioded having that convo with my sister because I didnt want to upset her but that just back fired big time. I tried to make it clear to her that I didnt want to be involved with her pregnancy but I never explained why. All that did was make her try to force me to be a part of it even more and in the end it just made me resent her and my nephew even more because it was almost as if she was trying to rub her pregnancy in my face. She did a lot of things during that pregnancy out of spite that made it harder on me just because I couldnt get involved because of my feelings. When my nephew was born with problems and they didnt think he would make it it killed me. I spent a lot of time blaming myself for not being there for my sister when she was pregnant and because of his health problems we had a lot of unresolved issues. After he was born I made myself be involved in his life but every time I saw him it broke my heart and I couldnt connect with him for the longest time. It seemed the harder time I had being around him the more my sister tried to force me to be around him. Around the time he turned 1 my sister and I had a huge fight over everything and I finally told her why I felt the way I did and why it was so hard for me to see him because every time I see him it just reminds me that my daughter should be there with him growing up with him playing with him and everything. Finally we worked out our issues as far as my nephew is concerned but to this day every time she gets made at me she throws it in my face that I wasnt there for her when she was pregnant and I wasnt there for him the way she thinks I should have been. And honestly that hurts more then anything. I now have a closer relationship with my nephew and he holds a very specail place in my heart just because he reminds me of my daughter but to this day I cant go see him without coming home crying over my daughter.