Please don't judge. I need help.

**if you want to skip the story, the question is at the bottom. TIA

Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I'd been dead set on the fact that I was going to solely breastfeed DS. When I was at the hospital, I had a ton of trouble getting him to latch on correctly. I had him at 3:04pm on Wednesday. They didn't bring him to me for the first time until after 8pm that night. At that point he still hadn't eaten anything. So for about 2 hours after they brought him, myself, the nurse, and DH all tried to get this going...he never latched on. The next day, we got to meet with the lactation consultant, she managed to get him latched on for a good 20 minutes on my right boob. No luck with the left. She came back later that day to help again and we couldn't get him to latch. Throughout the night we tried and tried and tried, and DH and I just couldn't get him to latch on for anything. Friday rolls around and the nurse brings him in. I asked her if they'd been feeding him anything since I was having such rotten luck with the breastfeeding and she said no. O.O I'm sure that's standard with all babies who are going through the breastfeeding process, but I was just taken a back by this. So she just told me that my baby hadn't eaten since I got him to latch that ONE time..? I got really upset, sort of blamed myself. DH and I then started to talk about our options. I literally felt like I was starving my child. According to the nurse, I wasn't but it's still how I felt, and it made me feel like a terrible mom. Both DH and I thought for the time being, and our situation, that it would be "best" for us to switch to formula. Don't get all judgemental on me here. I've beat myself up about it, and I do feel completely guilty about the decision...but I'm going to stick with it. It made both DH and me feel better because we KNEW that DS was eating enough, and we could both tell that DS was feeling much better after his first formula feeding.
When he was born he weighed 7lbs 3oz...he ended up losing weight because I couldn't get him to eat, but he started gaining it back after we started the formula. he weighed 6lbs 11oz when we left the hospital :/

My problem now is, I've got milk coming in, and fast...I just noticed it yesterday and it is a significant amount. I don't have a pump, and I tried to get DS to latch and feed twice with no luck. If I can't get him to latch and feed, how am I going to get the milk to go away before I become engorged???

You can hand express and put it in a bottle if he doesn't want to latch. If you're still set on him getting BM, you could do that until you either get a pump, or he latches. I hope it works out the way you want.

Quoting Kristin B.:" **if you want to skip the story, the question is at the bottom. TIA Ever since I found out I was pregnant, ... [snip!] ... twice with no luck. If I can't get him to latch and feed, how am I going to get the milk to go away before I become engorged???"

There isn't any way to get the milk to go away before you get engored. It is going to happen. I was that way for 4 days and after that it started going down.

Quoting Daddy+Mommy=Them:" There isn't any way to get the milk to go away before you get engored. It is going to happen. I was that way for 4 days and after that it started going down."

this. it is going to happen no matter what you do.

Quoting Daddy+Mommy=Them:" There isn't any way to get the milk to go away before you get engored. It is going to happen. I was that way for 4 days and after that it started going down."

did it just go away or did you hand express it??

I've had the exact same thing happen except I didn't give up so easily. I spent many hours a day hand expressing and giving him formula the rest of the time. When he was about 6 weeks old, I finally got him to latch. That was over 3 years ago and I still breastfeed.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" You can hand express and put it in a bottle if he doesn't want to latch. If you're still set on him getting ... [snip!] ... set on him getting BM, you could do that until you either get a pump, or he latches. I hope it works out the way you want."

yeah I watched a video on how to do this last night, and tried it and realized just how long it was going to take to do it, so I wanted to see ifyou all had any other ideas :/

Nobody has any right to judge you. You did what you thought was best. My cousins used to put cabbage leaves on their breasts ( they never intended on bfing ), apparently it dries them right up?

Quoting Kristin B.:" did it just go away or did you hand express it??"

It just went away on its own. Before I let it just go on its own I was trying to hand express to make it less painful and it just made it worse and dragged it on.

Quoting momento mori:" I've had the exact same thing happen except I didn't give up so easily. I spent many hours a day hand ... [snip!] ... rest of the time. When he was about 6 weeks old, I finally got him to latch. That was over 3 years ago and I still breastfeed."

that's pretty damn impressive. Kudos.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" You can hand express and put it in a bottle if he doesn't want to latch. If you're still set on him getting ... [snip!] ... set on him getting BM, you could do that until you either get a pump, or he latches. I hope it works out the way you want."</blockquote>




But this!

Do you have a WIC in your area? It's kind of hit or miss but they were lifesavers for me when I was having bfing problems, they also gave me a pump. Also you may want to have your baby's ped check his tongue, it may be connected to high on his tongue (tongue tied) which will prevent him from latching on easily.

If you end up deciding not to try bfing anymore you don't want to pump or express milk as this will make matters worse. Wear a tight bra and if the pressure gets really bad take a warm shower and massage your breasts until it feels better, this will get out a bit of milk but not enough that it will exacerbate the engorgement.

Have u tried a nipple shield by any chance? It may help u if u still want to try.... I had a hard start they gave my DD a bottle i went into emergency surgery after i delivered her and there they want them to eat right away i was under for a good like 5 hours. When i did get awake enough we tried but it was a ruff first few days. But we got the hang of it and now she is almost 5 months.

You can't. If you're not going to breastfeed, you're going to get engorged.
If you still want to nurse you can! Get a hold of the me leche league in your area, call another lactation consultant, just keep trying!!! I couldn't get y daughter to latch in the hospital either and I tried every trick in th book. It turned for the first month she only would latch and feed if she was laying on her right side and she didn't like my breast to cover her nose, so she just had a shallow latch. It hurt like hell for the first 3 months until she self corrected her latch but I was determined to breastfeed. She lost almos a lb I her birthweight before leVing the hospital but we never gave formula and just tried EVERYTHING. If you still want to nurse, throw away the formula and keep trying. It's going to be hard and difficult because baby is used to not having to work for the milk now. Bottles don't need to have a let down triggered. But you still have time to get him in the breast!

Quoting Daddy+Mommy=Them:" It just went away on its own. Before I let it just go on its own I was trying to hand express to make it less painful and it just made it worse and dragged it on."

I think, for now, I'm going to keep trying. At least until my doctors appointment this week. If I can't get him to latch at all I'll talk to my doctor about it. My mom told me that back in the day, they could give you a pill to dry up your supply, and that's what she got with me and my sister. But I've never heard of anything like that recently...