re: Please don't judge. I need help.

Definitely try a nipple shield. It was the only way I could get my oldest to latch. A pain to have to clean it every time, but worth it to get the boobmilk into him. Good luck!

If it doesn't work, you just have to wait out the engorgement unfortunately.

You are not a bad mom. I did not bf. I am pregnant now and won't bf with the next one. But if you can even get a bit out into a bottle and add to his formula he will still get the boob milk.

<blockquote><b>Quoting momento mori:</b>" I'm pretty sure I didn't succeed at bf at her expense. If you want something, you have to fight for ... [snip!] ... Americans say? Three days to me isn't enough time to say that you failed at something. It's hardly enough time to get started."</blockquote>




As much as I see where you're coming from because I had a terrible start at breastfeeding and had to persevere through tons of obstacles, but I never gave up and never gave formula. this momma was obviously uninformed about breastfeeding before she started trying. She didn't know that it's completely mormal and expected for a breastfed newborn to lose weight and have trouble latching, and she thought her situation was unique and her baby was in danger. She reacted and made a decision. Not one that I would have made but she thought she was doing what was best. You don't need to make her feel badly about that. I agree that she could have tried many more options before throwing in the towel, she disnt and its not our place to judge her. Offer your advice and share your story for encouragement, but no need to degrade.

Quoting momento mori:" Thanks. I didn't believe in my success most of the time and cried daily. But somehow I persevered."

You're welcome   I wanted to give up day 3 I thought I was gonna die. DS had a bad latch but the LC was able to fix it with ease so I lucked out. Once that was fixed it was smooth sailing for 15 months  

your boobs are gonna get engorged theres no way around it there gonna hurt for a week and your gonna leak like crazy but in a few weeks they will dry up

<blockquote><b>Quoting lamr - 02-08-13-21:</b>" Definitely try a nipple shield. It was the only way I could get my oldest to latch. A pain to have to ... [snip!] ... worth it to get the boobmilk into him. Good luck! If it doesn't work, you just have to wait out the engorgement unfortunately."</blockquote>


I LOVED the nipple shield!!!

Op, have you completely given up at this point? If not there are a lot of resources available to you to help make the process easier. Le leche league, breastfeeding books, online tutorials, breastfeeding classes, lactation consultants, etc. I couldn't get my daughter to latch at the hospital, I could only get her on at home by myself. I spent days trying to get her on and she lost some weight but that's normal. Like I said before she didn't respond well to the tactic of pushing her onto my breast and having my breast cover her face, and she would only feed laying on her right side. It was a hassle and it was painful and in the first few months. We dealt with bleeding nipples every feed for three months, cluste feeding 24/7, shallow latch, thrush, mastitis, clogged ducts, i had the flu for a week and dd was hospitalized for three days at two months old for RSV. I was determined to breastfeed so I persevered! She is still nursing and hasn't had any formula at 21 months. It can be done you just have to want it enough and not give up!
If you've already made up your mind to give it up, just wait a week or two. You're breasts will get engorged and then they'll dry up. There's no avoiding it.

OP don't feel guilty but if you really want to BF keep trying. I had a rough start and thought about giving up. I stuck with it and my daughter is almost 2 months old. I didn't get to BF my other 2 kids and now that I am able to with my 3rd I have a ton of regret that I couldn't with them. I wish you the best of luck and don't feel bad if you end up just feeding formula doesn't make you a bad mom.

Quoting momento mori:" I'm pretty sure I didn't succeed at bf at her expense. If you want something, you have to fight for ... [snip!] ... Americans say? Three days to me isn't enough time to say that you failed at something. It's hardly enough time to get started."

It's not like I said, "oh he isn't latching...I'm just going to stop trying. no more no more."
I opted for the formula because he was legit starving. He lost a lot of weight, and actually gained some of it back after I started him on the formula. he weighed 7lbs 3oz when he was born and when we left the hospital he was down to 6lbs 11oz..how would you feel if your child was sitting in front of you starving?? Would you let him starve or do something about it? I'm not sure how much they are allowed to lose and still be "safe" but IMO that was too much and the fact that he was losing weight because of me was ripping me up inside...

My supply is growing right now, and believe me I've been trying. I've been trying to get him to latch multiple times a day, everyday, since I started him on formula. He just isn't taking it.

I do applaud you for your success, it's awesome. But once again... I AM TRYING. There's no need to even say that I've given up.

Quoting Click Me Click Me!!!:" Have u tried a nipple shield by any chance? It may help u if u still want to try.... I had a hard start ... [snip!] ... i did get awake enough we tried but it was a ruff first few days. But we got the hang of it and now she is almost 5 months. "

Yeah, I've tried the nipple shield :/ My nipples started to crack and bleed when I used it.

I'm still pretty upset about this whole situation. And after coming back to read the thread I feel even more smurffy. I just feel like everything I try doesn't work. I really want to bf...I think he deserves the best and breast milk is the best. It just isn't working :/ Both DH and I were both formula fed, and we both turned out quite alright. So I have nothing against ff, and if that's the route that I'm going to have to take, then I'll take it.

It's just disappointing

 

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kristin B.:</b>" Yeah, I've tried the nipple shield :/ My nipples started to crack and bleed when I used it. I'm still ... [snip!] ... nothing against ff, and if that's the route that I'm going to have to take, then I'll take it. It's just disappointing  "</blockquote>




Your nipples will crack and bleed for the first little bit until they get used to it. My one nipple literally exploded. It slit open and the tissue was emerging from it. Just use cream afterwards.

Quoting Kristin B.:" It's not like I said, "oh he isn't latching...I'm just going to stop trying. no more no more." I opted ... [snip!] ... I do applaud you for your success, it's awesome. But once again... I AM TRYING. There's no need to even say that I've given up."

thats normal my son lost almost a lb on fourmla i never BF him and i was told if he did not gain any more weight in 2 week or lost more we were going to the hospital for a stay till he put some weight on. My son was 7.4 when he was born and was 6.4 at his well visit a week latter.