Tantrums

I went to the october fest thing at the zoo with DD. She ended up having a nuclear melt down... I was embarassed and upset because I could not get her to stop.I broke down in tears in the middle of the zoo... I feel terrible. I physically feel weak from struggeling with her. We ended up leaving. I'm so upset... I raised her better than this... I know children all through tantrums... but I don't think I've EVER seen a child behave that badly... I feel horrible...and I'm thinking about not letting her to grandma's anymore... my mom thinks they are allowing her to act poorly... I wish there was a manual for all of this.

She misbehaved for you ...Kids do that at random ... I don't see how punishing the grandparents/grandmother (Or blaming them/her for that matter) will help ...

I'm so sorry that happened   my brother used to throw tantrums like that because he saw it once on a movie

eh sometimes now matter what you do kids just have meltdowns no matter how you raise them... thats what children do. but how old is she? punishment is sometimes a good thing but i dont think not letting her goto her grandmas anymore is a bit harsh and over the top

maybe just review how they punish her when shes over there and just explain to them they need to be more ontop of it and more strict

Quoting Jynxd Blyss:" She misbehaved for you ...Kids do that at random ... I don't see how punishing the grandparents/grandmother (Or blaming them/her for that matter) will help ..."

because if they reinforcing her bad behavior, then all of my behavior training goes out the door.. she's been very manipulative and I don't know if I can trust her to respect what I ask her to do in regards to my daughter. I'm not blaming her, that was something my mom said to me. I think in general, most kids would act up a little after being with their grandparents because they spoil them.  

Embarrassing is my almost 6-yo throwing a screaming, kicking tantrum at the doctor's office over his flu shot last week. OMG I have never seen him act that horridly. The doctor heard the commotion from the hallway and came in to help hold him down.

But it was my own fault... after 4 days with their father, I should have known he was going to be overtired and crabby, so I should have scheduled the shots for a different time, but there really wasn't another time...
I was so mortified... plus he kicked me in the boobs and I'm breastfeeding so it hurt like hell. I wanted to punch him but instead I just started laughing, not that there was anything funny AT ALL, but I couldn't stop laughing and that made me even more embarrassed. Then I had to go back the next day for my 4-month-old's well-check and relive the horror, lol.

Kids. Whaddya do?  

Quoting ×ø×K·ßear×ø×:" maybe just review how they punish her when shes over there and just explain to them they need to be more ontop of it and more strict"

She is 16 months. I finally got her to stop throwing fits by covering her mouth when she starts and telling her no. The thing is, I have told her nana certain things that I request her to do, and she doesn't do them. And I later find out that she wasn't doing what I asked, but with someone who is a liar and is good at it, it is hard to have a strong foundation to make decisions from.... for example, I told her she could absolutely not take her to the house boat until she could swim. About a year later, she started to slip details that lead me to belive that Lilah was at the house boat and then reworded her story... but I don't have solid proof of it... I did tell her that Ididn't want her to take her around her son (dd's dad) and especially without my knowledge... he told me he saw her, and his mom never did. And both times I asked, she ignored me. It's a lot of factors.... it's just difficult knowing what to do because the situation is so screwed up with her deadbeat father...and I've been trying to figure out for a long time if his mom was being manipulative like he is... however, without solid facts (because they both withold information) how can I make a decision?

Quoting Mrs.Mud:" Embarrassing is my almost 6-yo throwing a screaming, kicking tantrum at the doctor's office over his ... [snip!] ... Then I had to go back the next day for my 4-month-old's well-check and relive the horror, lol. Kids. Whaddya do?  "

Ha ha ha! It's difficult trying to raise kids with separate homes. I'm afraid it's going to damage her.

My nephew is like that.. he is great for everyone, except my mom (who raises him). She was just in Belgium for work for a few days and he was a little angel from what I understand, she gets home and he has tantrums lots. I'm sure she will grow out of it. Just don't do anything to reinforce the bad behavior!

Quoting Krysta. ilu Teagan:" My nephew is like that.. he is great for everyone, except my mom (who raises him). She was just in Belgium ... [snip!] ... gets home and he has tantrums lots. I'm sure she will grow out of it. Just don't do anything to reinforce the bad behavior! "

If she throws herself on the ground, do I just leave her there?

Quoting Is that still my name?:" Ha ha ha! It's difficult trying to raise kids with separate homes. I'm afraid it's going to damage her."

Yah it's not easy. There are no boundaries at their father's house. He lets them watch rated R movies, play inappropriate games, basically do whatever the smurf they want while he sits upstairs and drinks. Pisses me off. And then I get to be the bad guy when they come here and there's actually rules, god forbid. It smurfing sucks.

Quoting Mrs.Mud:" Yah it's not easy. There are no boundaries at their father's house. He lets them watch rated R movies, ... [snip!] ... Pisses me off. And then I get to be the bad guy when they come here and there's actually rules, god forbid. It smurfing sucks."

How do you handle it? I want to tell deadbeat and his mother no more visits because they aren't being truthful with me... but I just deep down feel that is unrealistic. I'm afraid of making a wrong decision and then she becomes a hoodlem like her ass of a "father". ESPECIALLY because he is living with his girlfriend (lying to me about it) and he sure jumped on board with that stupid relationship real quick... I trust his judgement, I don't trust the people he is around, and I do not trust his ability to raise her.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" How do you handle it? I want to tell deadbeat and his mother no more visits because they aren't being ... [snip!] ... real quick... I trust his judgement, I don't trust the people he is around, and I do not trust his ability to raise her."

I have joint custody... so I don't have any choice but to deal with it. My boys are generally good kids, and they know that there's a difference between mommy's house and daddy's house. I don't care if it makes me the "bad guy". I feel bad sometimes because I know their behavior isn't entirely their fault... but at 7.5 and almost 6, they do know better. I don't know... we just shuffle along, I guess. They've gotten soap in their mouths once, and spent a lot of time in corners. Trying to talk to their father about it is like talking to a brick wall, so I just do the best I can.