Updates.

Youcan find update one and the backstory here..
http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about2358502.html


So, Just in the past week, I have lightened my work load. So that im down to only two days a week, The rest of my time is spent at school in the morning to finnish up my GED, then i spend the rest of the day with LO. (BD is still here so he keeps her while im at school.. even though he doesnt want to) I have been about two and half weeks late on my cycle, i took a test it showed negative, (im on BC) No big deal.. So I have taken BD out a few times this week, We have been kicking it, drinking and just enjoying each other, i figure.. why not.. hes still here .. lets make the best of it.. even set up play dates with one of my guy friends whom he has ALOT in common with. They chill and have hit it off great. Last night me and BD went out to the state fair and road rides..and had a pretty decent time..This morning i went out with LO to get my check and to make pick ups (Diapers wipes ect) I get a few crippling cramps followed by a gush of blood.. Curious am i becasue i have been told that after sometime you may or may not get a period with IMPLANON..last month i had one for a week, all the months prior to that, i bled every other month for the druation of the month (Ive had it for about seven months now) So the thought crossed my mind of of course what if the test i took was wrong..but im not dwelling on it.. Anyway back to my other updates.. SOOOO.. like i said My BD and i are trying to make the best of things and be "friends" Now twice since all this smurf has gone down between us, i have asked to be intimate with him.. he of course allows it..but the other night (after the fair) he tells me he isnt comfortable with it.. really.. that this isnt something that "friends" do.. I explained to him that i see no problem with it while we still share a home together because for obvious reasons we will not be able to sleep together once he leaves. and that if he really wasnt comfortable with it.. then he wouldnt so obviously its not THAT big of a deal. Whatever. The issues i have at the moment are, when im here, he does nothing.. i mean NOTHING to take care of her, he will play with her..sure.. but he wont feed her, change her or anything.. im here and thats "my job as a mother" and it doesnt matter what im trying to accomplish that day..(Other then school..wich he does bitch about when i get ready to leave.) He only takes care of her when im gone..(as in school or work) becasue HE HAS TOO..not be cause he wasnts too.. and he says this is only becasue "You get a break, you go to school and you go to work. So thats your time off, when you are here you have duties as a mother" Honestly hes starting to do nothing more then piss me off.. I have tried to show him a good time and make some sort of a social life with him again and have a friendship..but its like hes not even there when we are out doing stuff, hes constantly on his phone ..and just.. idk..I just hate it..I wish i could make him realize that when he walks out that door that it will be something he will regret for the rest of his life.

Quoting JazziRay Carrier:" Youcan find update one and the backstory here.. http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about2358502.html So, Just ... [snip!] ... i could make him realize that when he walks out that door that it will be something he will regret for the rest of his life."

I guess i kinda just feel lost, like i wanted better for her.. i wanted to show her that true love is possilbe and that familes can stay together, He was..and still is my bestfriend and i love him to death..She wont know him once he leaves becasue he will be half way across the country, sure, there will be letters and phone calls and skype and money.. sent to her.. but that doesnt mean smurf..not till she is old enough to really understand it. We where so close and he was so good to her and to me in the very begining, i just dont understand..and fail to wrap my head around what has happend here, and the sudden drastic change in the way he is on the day to day.. is well.. devistating..to say the least.

That's a smurffy situation, I can't imagine how that makes you feel. Unfortunately, you can't make someone feel something that's not there. By the sounds of things, you don't really need him. He sounds ignorant, and lazy. It sucks that he would do that to his kid, I can't even imagine being that far away from my child..ever. You deserve better. I wouldn't waste another penny on his ass, taking him out and what not.. save it for you and your child. Me personally, I would ask him to find some where else to stay, because friends don't financially rely on one another. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your child. I can understand that you are hurt and stuff, but by the sounds of things, at this point he is just using you for a place to stay and what not. If he wants to be gone, let him be. Good luck with everything.

Quoting Krysta. ilu Teagan:" That's a smurffy situation, I can't imagine how that makes you feel. Unfortunately, you can't make someone ... [snip!] ... point he is just using you for a place to stay and what not. If he wants to be gone, let him be. Good luck with everything. "

Thats the thing, is the sudden turn around in all this, he used to be so fun, loving and devoted to me and his kid.. and then for me to just come home one night and it be a full 180. like all a sudden he just switched wayy the smurf off.. like idk how to feel about it anymore..I was sad, i cried every night (i still do not as often tho.. you know.. good days and bad days..) i poured my heart and soul out to him constantly.. but hes pulling back farther and farther from me and her..just sucks i guess..and now.. JUST NOW.. he had the balls to come into the office.. where i am..and ask me if i would take him to go get a new video game... When a few hours ago i asked him to feed his kid when i got home from running errands.. and he wouldnt becasue my step dad had woken him up early this morning and made him do chores around the house.. i asked him a SECOND TIME nicely to help me out so i could get other things done and he said no.. Currently, she needs an ass changing, he just handed her to me.. to change her (He himself not doing anything but waiting for me to get off the computer).. What.. the.. smurf.. Where did my loving SO go? Where is my best friend.. and who the smurf is this shell of a man i once knew.

Quoting JazziRay Carrier:" Thats the thing, is the sudden turn around in all this, he used to be so fun, loving and devoted to ... [snip!] ... What.. the.. smurf.. Where did my loving SO go? Where is my best friend.. and who the smurf is this shell of a man i once knew."

By the sounds of things, the responsibility has just been too much for him to handle. Chances are, if you guys didn't have a child, you wouldn't have the problems you are having right now. It's unfortunate, but he probably just wasn't ready for any of the responsibility he has. You can only help a person so much before they need to help themselves, like I said, ask him to leave. You are not making things any easier on yourself by having him around, he doesn't help you, and clearly is insensitive to your feelings.

Quoting Krysta. ilu Teagan:" By the sounds of things, the responsibility has just been too much for him to handle. Chances are, if ... [snip!] ... making things any easier on yourself by having him around, he doesn't help you, and clearly is insensitive to your feelings. "

Catch 22 here is, I dont have the money to ship him 900 plus miles way where he wants to be.

Quoting JazziRay Carrier:" Catch 22 here is, I dont have the money to ship him 900 plus miles way where he wants to be."

Well it's a good thing he's not your responsibility. If he wants to go let him find his own way. Why would you pay to ship him there.. he can figure it all by himself.. or at least that's my opinion.