useless doggy.

I've been harassing my husband in bed all night and he started hollaring and flailing his arms and our dog comes in and I go "Lizzy! Daddy's being mean! Save me!" What does her worthless self do? Jump up on the bed and lay down and get all comfy. Great protector she is. She hides behind me when he scares her too.   awesome safety dog...

My cat will attack me if I shove him while he's sleeping, so he'll share the bed...but he can push me off the bed (he's not good at sharing... lol) and she'll curl up on his back and go to sleep.
She's a traitor  

My childhood dog would bite my dad if he tickled us - she was great!
My current dog is a fool; some heroin addict left her baby in the snow outside my house when we were upstairs watching a movie last year just before I popped and only noticed because my parents came over and she was there. My dog LICKED the bitch and when the police came she crapped on the floor and the police officer stood in her water bowl and slid across the kitchen. She then threw up under the table. Face. Palm.

our chocolate lab would "help" if we were all playing around like we were smurfing with my sister and my dad was holding her arms while my mom and i were tickling her feet and he went insane and was barking and grabbing at us. well one night my parents were um doing the deed and he thought my dad was hurting my mom and he grabbed my dads ankle and tried to pull him off her lol. i didnt necessarily want to hear about my parents doing it but i did find the story freakin hilarious

Quoting bekksters :" our chocolate lab would "help" if we were all playing around like we were smurfing with my sister and ... [snip!] ... to pull him off her lol. i didnt necessarily want to hear about my parents doing it but i did find the story freakin hilarious"

LOL ours has gotten in my face like "Mom, whatcha doin?" lol