WHY can't I just get over it???

I'm having the HARDEST time getting over my ex. Here's a lil back story, I'll try to keep it short..

We were FWB for around 7 months before I got pregnant. I have 1 daughter from a previous relationship, who is now 1 yr old. I was TNTC, but obviously that didn't work, and I got pregnant in June. When I first told him about it, he wanted me to abort, but I couldn't do it. After he insisted and told me the reasons why, I decided that maybe it would be a good idea. I scheduled the appointment, and the day before I went in he told me "don't do it." He said he wanted to make it work between us, and he seemed genuinely happy about me not going through with it. We started making plans to move in together, and start our family.

A lil while after that he told me that he had a huge secret to tell me... he got another girl pregnant at the same time I got pregnant.   I was sooo hurt and ashamed that I let this happen to me. He said that he would be there for our daughter, and I know he is a good dad to his other child. He told me that he wasn't with her, and never wanted to work it out with her, and that since we weren't technically 'together' I should forgive him and start working on our family.

I started thinking that maybe things could work out, and started dating him and trying to make it work for our daughter. A month ago he finally told me that he didn't want me, and he was gonna try to make it work this other girl.   He has since stopped talking to me and even changed his number. He has proposed to her and moved in with her and her son.

I know that him and I were never really in a relationship, but I believed his promises of a family. I am having some major jealousy issues, and I can't seem to get over it.   Nobody knows that I still feel this way, cuz I don't let anyone know, but it's killing me inside. I can't help but be jealous of the other girl cuz now she has a family and he's there for her and their child, while I'm left to go through my pregnancy alone. I live in a small town, so I have already seen them out in public, and he acts like I don't exist. Idk, maybe it's just my hormones cuz I'm pregnant, but this isn't getting any easier for me. I'm now left to be a single mom, and as hard as it is for me to admit, I'm regretting not getting the abortion. I'm a horrible mom and person. My daughters do not deserve this, and I need just pick up the pieces and move on, but I can't seem to do it....

I just need someone to talk to, maybe some advice... I'm just tired of holding all of this is in. I want to get over it, and be happy about the arrival of my baby, but a month later, I'm still torn. I don't want to go through this, and I sometimes wish I wasn't pregnant at all. I don't wanna have to deal with him and the resentment I have towards him and his new gf.

Sorry guys are dicks. He sounds like a complete ass. I know sometimes no matter how bad things are your heart doesnt listen to your head.   Since youre keeping the baby you need to focus on your new little family!

That's pretty messed up he did that to you. I'm sorry your dealing with that, I understand its hard. Try to keep your head up I know you don't want to be a single parent but you can do it. As time goes by I am sure you will accept it and it will get easier on you.

Wow, I'm really sorry to hear all of this. I know it must be extremely hard on you. He's a smurffy person for making you go through this alone, but when it's all said and done it WILL make you a better person. You learn from your mistakes, so you know next time he tries coming around what you need to look out for. I wouldn't try to keep him from seeing his child, but that's just my opinion. Don't take it out on your baby, and resent it. Enjoy your newborn and embrace being a mother all over again. Try not to dwell so much on the negative parts of what he has done to you, but instead be happy that you have another child to look forward to. I was a single mother until recently so I know it's not easy doing it alone, but your girls will look up to you in the long run for being such a great role model to them and supporting them during your difficult and trying times. My heart goes out to hun and I really hope everything works out in your favor. Remember time heals all wounds, give it some time and you will be like uhh who was my last ex? Haha JK. If you need anything feel free to PM me.

Is adoption out of the question at this point? I mean I know what it feels like to be pregnant when you wish tou weren't but I don't know about being alone.
If you are for sure keeping and parenting your new baby then I suggest you get a referral for some counciling. It will help you deal with the feels of jealousy and resentment and get ready for the baby.
And get CS when baby arrives!

Thank u ladies for ur support, I feel better just getting it all out in the open!

Right now, adoption isn't an option, but I have thought seriously about it. He honestly is a good dad, and I know that he will fight for his rights, but right now, I can't even think about letting my daughter go stay with him and his new wife. I know it's what is best for her, and I should be happy that she has a dad but my feelings are getting the best of me. Hopefully I will get over it, and I will do what's right for my daughter, it's just hard to think about right now.

I've looked into counseling, but it's expensive. I think that I do need some help, cuz things are getting worse instead of getting better. Some days are better then others. I can be having a good day, and then I hear his name or someone asks me about him or my pregnancy and my day goes to smurf. I start thinking about how happy his gf probably is, and how it should be me.... idk. this just sux

<blockquote><b>Quoting Deenasoar:</b>" Thank u ladies for ur support, I feel better just getting it all out in the open! Right now, adoption ... [snip!] ... and my day goes to smurf. I start thinking about how happy his gf probably is, and how it should be me.... idk. this just sux"</blockquote>




Honestly, they probably aren't as happy right now as you think they are. Yes hebis with her right now planning a family, but imagine te distrust in that relationship. He chose you first and then went back to her later on. She MUST be harboring resentment and jealousy over that and it can't be all peaches and pastel colors in their house.
There are resources to help you access counciling services if ou can't afford them. I can post the link now and they are probably different where you are anyway but I suggest you do a little research into it. And I it's hard, but try not to wasn't the baby for this. I know she is all you have to blame right now, I know that feeling, but it's not her fault an she needs you to just love and care for her. And when baby comes and you start having to share just try to remind yourself that regardless of your history, she deserves a mom AND dad who love her:

Quoting MommaSav2:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Deenasoar:</b>" Thank u ladies for ur support, I feel better ... [snip!] ... you start having to share just try to remind yourself that regardless of your history, she deserves a mom AND dad who love her:"

You're probably right... and I've know this guy for years, and not once has he been faithful to his gf's. But he has never asked anyone to marry him either. I know with time, it will get easier but right now, my world is crashing around me . How does anyone go through a pregnancy alone? It's so... unnatural. And the fact that there is NOTHING I can do to change it makes it so much harder.

I'm going to look into counseling in my town, I really think it would help me. I'm kinda ashamed that I can't just get over this myself. I'm stronger then this.. or at least I thought I was.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Deenasoar:</b>" You're probably right... and I've know this guy for years, and not once has he been faithful to his ... [snip!] ... would help me. I'm kinda ashamed that I can't just get over this myself. I'm stronger then this.. or at least I thought I was."</blockquote>




It has nothing to do with strength or lack of it. You're experiencing an emotional trauma. If you had a physical injury, you would seek professional help. It's the same concept, you're just trying to mend a wound here. It's not something to be ashamed of. And you're a better mother for wanting to work it out for your babies.

I made an appointment for next week   I'm gonna be strong for my daughters.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Deenasoar:</b>" I made an appointment for next week   I'm gonna be strong for my daughters. "</blockquote>



Awesome! Good for you!