Parents with just 1 child

Is anybody on here a parent of an only child? I'm pregnant now with our first and we had decided that she was going to be our only baby, but I'm only 20 and now I'm starting to reconsider getting permanent birth control after she is born. I'm supposed to be getting Essure done in June/July next year when my daughter is about 5 months old. Now I'm just worried I'll regret that in a few years when I'm still young enough to have another sibling for her. But at the same time my husband is for sure that he doesn't want another one. He never wanted any kids until we got together and then he wanted one and now we're having her. The only thing I'm worried about if we did decide to have another one is twins run really strong in my family and I don't want to get pregnant again & end up with 3 babies instead of 2. Ugh sorry for the long post I'm just really confused. In your opinion should I take the time between January when she'll be born and june/july when I'm supposed to have the permanent birth control procedure done and see how I'm feeling about it when I'm not all pregnant, hormonal and emotional? Thanks for any advice you may have.

i would not recommend the permanent route of bc at your age. And in some places they wont do it until 25 or so unless you have a medical reason or multiple kids already. So especially if you're 2nd guessing yourself now I would put it off for a while.

Will your OB even do the Essure at your age? Honestly, you arent 100% sure, so get the Mirena or Paraguard until you make up your mind.

We have changed our minds so much as to how many children we want over the last 3 years, I'm 27 nd I sill can't bring myself to consider permanent birth control yet. First we wanted 4 than after my son came we wanted just him and then decided to try again and stop after 2 but I'm just not sure how I will feel a year from now so I can't agree to anything permanent just yet!

Quoting Meg and Nora's Mommy:" Will your OB even do the Essure at your age? Honestly, you arent 100% sure, so get the Mirena or Paraguard until you make up your mind."

Agree.

Since you are not 100% sure you should not get anything permanent. I only wanted one child. I was 100% sure at the time but when my DD turned 2 I decided I wanted another child. I'm pregnant with my second. I'm now 150% sure I don't want a third but I plan on waiting a few years to get any permanent BC just to make sure.

I already talked to my doctor about it and I can get Essure when I turn 21. That's why I have to wait until june to have it done after I turn 21. I'm going to get Paragard right after she is born anyways even if we do decide to go the permanent bc route later on. I mean even if I'm second guessing myself I still can't change the way my husband feels so I'm not sure it's even worth talking to him about it again at least until after our daughter is born.

I'm 20 with one child and I wanted permanent BC just because I had lots of complications during pregnancy that led to other complications after delivery that I am still dealing with now (almost 2 years PP) so I didn't want to end up going through that again and my OB would not give me permanent BC even when I asked here recently. Honestly, I didn't think they could give you anything like that unless you were a little older or had more children.

I begged my doc to fix me after my last child. My first was stillborn at 32 weeks and he said the insurance company wouldn't consider me having 2 kids. I was 20 then. How in the world would you be able to get fixed being this is your first?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Meg and Nora's Mommy:</b>" Will your OB even do the Essure at your age? Honestly, you arent 100% sure, so get the Mirena or Paraguard until you make up your mind."</blockquote>




 

I personally wouldn't I am about to be 20 and I can't make up my mind. Some days I want just her, then I want 2 then 4. Haha
I would just do a temporary one nothing permanent. Because you never know what your future will hold. Your husband could change his mind just like he changed his into wanting one. He could end up wanting another.
My SO wants me to have another in two years. He's crazy! But I might try depending on how I feel.
It's all on you and I hope that your husband doesn't pressure you because he doesn't want more. I think wait and really think about it, and when she's a little older come back to it and talk with your husband.

<blockquote><b>Quoting {Stina}Maci's Mommy:</b>" I already talked to my doctor about it and I can get Essure when I turn 21. That's why I have to wait ... [snip!] ... way my husband feels so I'm not sure it's even worth talking to him about it again at least until after our daughter is born."</blockquote>




You can't change the way your DH feels but he can definitely chance his mind 5 years down the road. Also, you should not get anything permanent done just because he doesn't want anymore kids. The only time you should consider it is if YOU have decided that YOU font want anymore kids. Unfortunately, divorce happens more often than not and if by chance (hopefuly not) that were to be the case with you and you found another man and decided you wanted children with him you'd be pretty disappointed that you got fixed for someone other then yourself.

If your DH really doesnt want anymore kids tell him to get a vasectomy. It can be reversed if he were to ever change his mind but keep I mind it should not be thought of as a temporary fix

Quoting Moody Momma:" I begged my doc to fix me after my last child. My first was stillborn at 32 weeks and he said the insurance ... [snip!] ... wouldn't consider me having 2 kids. I was 20 then. How in the world would you be able to get fixed being this is your first? "

I only wanted one because even though this is my first daughter this is my 4th pregnancy. I lost 3 before her. And I've had a tremendous amount of complications with this pregnancy. I was on bed rest all summer because of placenta problems. I almost lost her in the beginning but she's doing pretty well now. I don't know how what other doctors say but you can have Essure done without having any kids at all. The only requirement for Essure is to be 21 because 21 is the age of consent for permanent birth control. At least that is the way it is here. Also it is highly unlikely that my husband will change his mind about having another one. He's an over the road truck driver and he doesn't want to have more babies that he won't be able to see all the time like he wants to be able to.

I am 23 and feel the same way as you. My SO and I don't know if we want another child. Our family seems complete with our 2 year old daughter. Plus she's such a handful....I got the mirena put in however, just in case I change my mind. It has caused zero complications for me and I love the fact that if something changes and I decide to have another, I still can. It's permanentish haha.

I agree with the previous poster. If he for sure doesn't want more kids, HE should get fixed. It's only fair. Divorce and death both happen. What if he were to die tomorrow? You're only 20. What if you want to get remarried down the road and want more kids? You still have 15-20 or more childbearing years ahead of you!