So should I add/subtract anything from this? I feel like it is long winded but it's an emotional issue for me so I can't seem to reign it in.
To whom it may concern:
A couple months ago, when checking my son into the nursery I was told that parents were complaining that he is “too big” to be in there, even though he is within the age limits.
I was asked if I wanted him to go to the next class up. My son is developmentally a year behind; he is nowhere near ready to move up. So I went to church.
When I went to pick him up I was told that he had “attacked” a child and then “attacked” the nursery worker.
What? My son has gone to church approximately 194 times before this and has never, ever had an issue. He has been to church approximately 8 times since the incident, also without issue.
We also go to the park several times a week, attend play groups and go to therapy. He never had an issue of fighting or attacking people and has never, ever hit an adult. So this lady wants me to believe that my son suddenly started attacking people, but only this one week out of over 200.
Sounds like she just doesn’t like my kid (or, more likely me).
To be honest, when she first told me parents were complaining, alarm bells went off in my head. I have the gift of discernment and I tend to know when someone says something but means another. I did not feel right leaving him but he wanted to “play with friends”. My autistic son wants to play with other kids.
After I picked him up I talked/cried to DeLana (the pastor's wife) about it. She suggested separating him and letting him work 1 on 1 with a former special needs teacher. I still didn’t feel right about it but I agreed.
Weeks afterward, I still don’t feel at peace about it. It’s not the teacher; I think she is wonderful; it’s the separation from his peers. I feel like I have failed him if I allow him to be separated or made to feel different. I need to fight for him to be accommodated and integrated. He wants to play with his friends.
So I feel I have 3 options:
A) Petition for the nursery worker to be replaced with someone who knows how to deal with kids of all developmental levels.
B) Take the time we would usually go to church and spend it with my in laws or at the park.
C) Find a church that can accommodate my son.
Since I don’t attend the church full time, I feel it’s not my place to go with option A.
Option B is ok but I want my kids in church.
So that leaves me with option C, which really sucks because I grew up in the church. Pastor baptized me, baptized my husband, married my husband and I and has dedicated my children. I also enjoy going to church with the rest of my family but, my son comes first.
I didn’t write this novel to cause any problems, I wrote it for the parents of special needs children who don’t go to this church. Because if a visitor came to the church and had the same situation occur that I did, they wouldn’t write a letter. They would simply leave, either deciding church wasn’t for them or finding another church.
Perhaps that is why there are no special needs kids in the church.
This honestly makes me so sad. An autistic child that WANTS to play and interact with other children should not be penalized and made to feel different. I wish that I could offer some advise to you, but I have none to give. Just keep fighting for your son. Good luck to you