Quoting Devil Duckie:" We have a nearly 8 year old boy and a 4 1/2 year old girl. My husband doesn't want to find out this ... [snip!] ... help me be ok with this, because right now I'm going crazy. I want to give him say, but this is not sitting well with me. "
I would compromise with him. Say you'll wait to find out, but you have to have the names chosen and set.
As for clothes and whatnot, just buy enough gender neutral stuff to cover until baby is born, and you can get out to buy gender specific.
I dunno. I wanted to keep this one a surprise, but who the hell was I kidding, lol.