Quoting Regina Stevenson:" Sounds like that might be the way to go. I think she just wants to feel included and if you do the inclusion ... [snip!] ... it is just her wanting the attention of both of you are the same time and it works out best for her when you 2 are cuddling."
Saving the cuddling for after bedtime won't work, I don't see him. I go to bed around 8pm, he comes home from work at 11pm and comes to bed without waking me. I get up at 4:30am and leave for work at 5am. I get home at 4:30 pm, he gets home a few minutes later and then goes back to work at 6:15pm. That hr & half is all the time we get a day for 12 days in a row.
I think it's jealousy, or at least.... needing to be included when we're doing something without her. Because we have dinner as soon as he gets home and we eat together and talk about what she did in school and just have family time, then we go watch a movie or a tv show.
I'm also thinking about maybe playing a game together one or two nights a week, partially to avoid the cuddling issue and partially because I don't want us to have all of our family time vegged out in front of the tube.