re: i feel like such a failure as a mom...

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" He wants to keep his son? Honestly, in your situation, I would let your son stay with his dad. Your life is so unstable right now."

I really agree with this.

OP you seem like you have a lot going on and i hope you are able to figure things out.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 33:</b>" my mom is saying the same thing. she's pissed that i'm leaving and not taking him with me."</blockquote>


What do you think is in his best interest? You aren't a bad mom if you make the decision based on your sons needs.

I hated my mom for not letting me live with my dad. It took ME petitioning the court at 14 to finally live with him. I'm the oldest of 8. The youngest is 2days old... In your situation let him go. His dad can take care of him hon, and you'll still see him.

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" He wants to keep his son? Honestly, in your situation, I would let your son stay with his dad. Your life is so unstable right now."

        

I would ask your son what he wants, assuming from previous comments he's really 10. Often times, putting their needs before your desires is the hardest thing to do.

i'm just scared that he's gonna think i chose someone over him. i feel like his dad and his wife are gonna make him think that i did and he's gonna hate me for it. i couldnt live with my son hating me. i didnt even get a chance to talk to him just the two of us to find out how he's feeling or what he wants. what if he wants to come back with me and his siblings?

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 33:" i'm just scared that he's gonna think i chose someone over him. i feel like his dad and his wife are ... [snip!] ... him just the two of us to find out how he's feeling or what he wants. what if he wants to come back with me and his siblings?"

then talkto him now and find out!

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 33:" i'm just scared that he's gonna think i chose someone over him. i feel like his dad and his wife are ... [snip!] ... him just the two of us to find out how he's feeling or what he wants. what if he wants to come back with me and his siblings?"

If oyu feel like that then stay where you are. Your kids need a stable home. It is not about you. Have your husband come where you are. Not the other way around.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~~My Pet Wussy~~:</b>" There is nothing in the world that could make me leave my kid behind, especially not a 10 yr old. I couldn't do it."</blockquote>



Nope, same here.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 33:" i'm just scared that he's gonna think i chose someone over him. i feel like his dad and his wife are ... [snip!] ... him just the two of us to find out how he's feeling or what he wants. what if he wants to come back with me and his siblings?"

Then get off BG and go talk to him right now! You need to do what is best for him and that's either taking him back with you or leaving him with his dad, but you need to take into consideration what he wants, not what you want.

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" then talkto him now and find out!"

i tried tonight but his dad was always there and I call everyday but his dad is always on the other phone listening in.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 33:" i'm just scared that he's gonna think i chose someone over him. i feel like his dad and his wife are ... [snip!] ... him just the two of us to find out how he's feeling or what he wants. what if he wants to come back with me and his siblings?"

well get off here and go talk to him.

If he wants to come back then open up your arms to him back.

I have stepkids they have heard SO much smurf from their bio mom and stepdad about us that's not true. As they have gotten older they've figured out the truth on their own. Kids are smart, he'd figure out if they are just feeding him lip service.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 33:" i'm just scared that he's gonna think i chose someone over him. i feel like his dad and his wife are ... [snip!] ... him just the two of us to find out how he's feeling or what he wants. what if he wants to come back with me and his siblings?"

Well I would ask him what he want and make sure you get time to talk him just y'all 2.

Quoting Brink:" well get off here and go talk to him. If he wants to come back then open up your arms to him back. ... [snip!] ... older they've figured out the truth on their own. Kids are smart, he'd figure out if they are just feeding him lip service. "

 

Quoting ღ.ღ.ღ:" Then get off BG and go talk to him right now! You need to do what is best for him and that's either ... [snip!] ... taking him back with you or leaving him with his dad, but you need to take into consideration what he wants, not what you want."

Exactly!