re: What would you tell your nurse after your loss?

Quoting P Pickle Pants:" My losses are one reason why I want to go into something in the obstetrical world (radiology/ultrasound ... [snip!] ... tech, doula, midwife, etc). Sometimes a mama just needs you to quietly hold her hand and let her know that SOMEONE cares."

I think you'd be good in that field. You're one of those inspirational people a lot of women would look up to just for going through what you went through.

Any more good experiences?

Quoting LRX:" What an amazing dude!! In the defense of it sometimes you can have a for bag so your water will actually break twice!"

she said she could touch his feet without membrane. 20 minutes after she said she felt his bare feet for the 2nd time, he was born head first with teh water popping about 1 minute before he emerged. He didn't flip in that time. I told her his feet were up because he was kicking the crap out of me between contractions, but she told me his feet were definitely down and IN my cervix...

I know what the hell feet in my cervix feel like. His had been there for weeks prior to labor starting. he flipped about 3-4 hours before my contractions strengthened from early to active labor.

Quoting Tavi:" I think you'd be good in that field. You're one of those inspirational people a lot of women would look up to just for going through what you went through. "

I wouldn't tell them. I hate when I vent about my feelings and someone has to one up me (or what feels like it) by telling me what they went through. Grief is a selfish thing. I don't want to be sad for other people when I'm having my own breakdown---and if I'm holding a mama's hand I wouldn't add to her grief by making her mourn with me.

But I would say "I've gotten this news myself. It sucks. I'm here if you want to talk about it." Or "I've done this myself. I can help if you need it." and leave it at that. But I'd mostly be encouraging them to ask questions, educate themselves, and ask for more and better treatment than assembly line obstetrics (as I call our current system).

Quoting P Pickle Pants:" I wouldn't tell them. I hate when I vent about my feelings and someone has to one up me (or what feels ... [snip!] ... educate themselves, and ask for more and better treatment than assembly line obstetrics (as I call our current system)."

Exactly. You just proved my point   That would be a great job for you to take up because you've been there and know what words to say and how to say them. I'm just saying if you were to tell your story ( if someone were to ask you ) it's still inspirational. I know if I heard your story when I was in the hospital, it would have made me feel less "alone". Maybe more hopeful that everything would be okay.

Quoting LRX:" As a Labor and Delivery nurse we don't always have the happy joyous births everyone prays for. We also ... [snip!] ... caring, perfect, and everything you needed? Was she TOO carrying, overwhelming, and too pushy? Lets share some experiences!!"

your doctors don't deliver stillborns???

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Exactly. You just proved my point   That would be a great job for you to take up because you've been ... [snip!] ... story when I was in the hospital, it would have made me feel less "alone". Maybe more hopeful that everything would be okay. "</blockquote>




My story makes even me feel helpless and hopeless.

I am glad others are inspired, though.

Quoting P Pickle Pants:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Exactly. You just proved my point   That would ... [snip!] ... be okay. "</blockquote> My story makes even me feel helpless and hopeless. I am glad others are inspired, though."

*Big hugs*

You are everything but that. For someone to go through all that as many times as you did and still manage to share your story.....yea...you're an inspiration.

with my last lost i had to have an D&C cause the baby didnt grow but the egg did but before they did the D&C they made me take pills 3 times to try to pass it on my own ... witch the pills make you go into laybor and it really hurts plus knowing the baby you though you was going to have hurts your heart and soul then they did a d&c and not once i get im sorry for your loss they treated me like its not a big deal it was my 2nd lost in a year but god is watching over my little girl right now i am 22 weeks and even tho mommy not healthy she is doing good and she is healthy and no problems yet and pray to god stays that way .........but i wish i could say smurf you to most all doctors i have done with this baby and to my angels in heaven doctors

Quoting I can see you:" your doctors don't deliver stillborns???"

Not usually. Our doctors don't remain on site so even if you call them to come deliver your baby they take their time and usually miss it.

Quoting LRX:" Not usually. Our doctors don't remain on site so even if you call them to come deliver your baby they take their time and usually miss it."

I love my job. Docs almost always make it.. though recently we had a run of precipitous deliveries.

Quoting I can see you:" I love my job. Docs almost always make it.. though recently we had a run of precipitous deliveries."

Some of our on-call doctors live 45 min away...   They never make the stop and drops.

I'm hoping to see some more positive things somebody wanted to say to the nurse about how they made their experience a little easier.

Quoting LRX:" I'm hoping to see some more positive things somebody wanted to say to the nurse about how they made their experience a little easier."

I've only had one fetal demise : ( it was sad.. it was a fantastic couple.. we had them for days antepartum, but she dilated too fast to do a cerclage. They were sent home knowing it would happen. They delivered at home, brought baby in and had to go down for manual removal of placenta. They handled it so well... made an impact on me. was heartbreaking.. they'd tried for years to get pregnant

Quoting Tavi:" When I lost the twins, I was bleeding. A lot. I was in an ER filled with all of 1 person and waited to ... [snip!] ... have told her the same. "Smurf you". I know there's good nurses out there.....I was never lucky enough to have one though. "

omg!!!