Just a vent I guess

I am so mad at SO and my MIL right now.
MIL calls late last night and says "Hey, meet me at the airport 10pm Tuesday, I'm staying with you guys for a week!" after blowing off visiting 4 times in the past 2 years. SO is all like yeah, sure, we'll all meet you there. I told him I'm not taking DD out at 10pm (we don't have a car so we'll be out until probably midnight on public transit) and I DO NOT want MIL staying with us. She can get a hotel like my mom had to do when she came to visit. He tells me too bad, she's staying here.

So I'm pissed at them both, her for giving us pretty much no notice that she is coming, and wanting us all to meet her at 10pm and wanting to stay for a week. Him for pretty much telling me what I want doesn't matter and she's staying because he says so.

We seriously don't have the room for another person to stay over. Our 1 bedroom apartment is 700 square feet, SO uses the 10x10 bedroom as his office/studio and we have the living room divided into a bedroom for us and a bedroom for DD using some Ikea Expedit shelves. There is no living room area, the couch is right beside our bed. I don't want MIL sleeping 2 feet away from me, she is a heavy smoker and wakes up at 5am, she's stayed with us in the past when we lived in the same province before having DD and she woke us up coming and going at all hours of the night and crashing around in the kitchen. She doesn't respect personal space or anything, she snoops through everything and "borrowed" some of my makeup and a pair of underwear. We don't even have extra pillows or blankets or anything.

Hopefully she realizes we don't have the space for her when she gets here and gets a hotel because if she doesn't then I'm going to.

I'm sorry   I can't imagine being that cramped. Are you guys moving before the new baby?

I think you're right about not bringing your LO out that late; I wouldn't do it either. I would just tell your MIL that your SO will be there to meet her, but that you don't want your LO out that late- she should respect that.

Also, have you explained the living situation and told her that there isn't really room at your place? And why does your SO get the bedroom to himself as an office and you all have to share the living room to sleep/live/eat/hang out in? Doesn't really make sense to me.

Id work on her before she shows. Keep complaining bout how you have no room for this or that. She might get the hint. If not id flat out say nope can't stay here look this hotel has a special going on   as for your so...he'd be staying in the hotel w his mom if he didn't respect my feelings. Maybe ull get lucky n she wont show!!! Fingers crossed for that!

Quoting Jerri _:" I'm sorry   I can't imagine being that cramped. Are you guys moving before the new baby?"

We've been looking for a place since June, if we don't find anything by probably Jan.1 then we'll be waiting until May to move. It really sucks, it was okay until recently because DD coslept but now she has a bunk bed and her own area so we have far less room.
SO works from home and needs a separate area off from the living area since he has clients over and does some recording from home and needs it to be quiet. We haven't managed to find a place in our price range that has 2 bedrooms and a living room that isn't attached to the kitchen or a 3 bedroom.

Quoting MommyToWesley:" I think you're right about not bringing your LO out that late; I wouldn't do it either. I would just ... [snip!] ... himself as an office and you all have to share the living room to sleep/live/eat/hang out in? Doesn't really make sense to me."

Right. Most people dont have an office. If he moved his office to the living area...you guys could room with the baby in the bedroom. Then there would be plenty of space for company.

Quoting Holly+Jon=Alice:" We've been looking for a place since June, if we don't find anything by probably Jan.1 then we'll be ... [snip!] ... to find a place in our price range that has 2 bedrooms and a living room that isn't attached to the kitchen or a 3 bedroom."

If you DD has a bunk bed, can't your MIL take one of the bunks?

Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" Right. Most people dont have an office. If he moved his office to the living area...you guys could room with the baby in the bedroom. Then there would be plenty of space for company."

 

Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" Right. Most people dont have an office. If he moved his office to the living area...you guys could room with the baby in the bedroom. Then there would be plenty of space for company."

The bedroom is 10x10 so when DD was a baby it just barely fit our queen size bed, her pack and play and a dresser. We were supposed to move this past June so that DD could have her own room before she turned 2 but places here have been hard to find. We've seen a few but SO didn't like all of them.

I agreed to us sleeping in the living room and our landlady okayed it as well because DD was waking up multiple times a night screaming and it was bothering the tenants beside us and downstairs.

Quoting Cattails:" If you DD has a bunk bed, can't your MIL take one of the bunks? "

We just bought it on Sunday but only got 1 mattress. We use the top to store diapers and off season clothes.

I've been so stressed out by our living situation for a long time now. When DD goes down at 8 I have to go into SO's office with the laptop, you can't turn on the light if you go into the kitchen to get a drink or anything because the kitchen is right beside the living room too.

SO doesn't seem to think it's a problem because he spends all day in his office and is pretty much only out here to sleep. There's no way this is going to work in March with a newborn.

N I thought my space was tiny   sorry mama wish ur so could give up some space to make it less cramped. W 4 its gonna be tight squeeze (4 of us w 750 sq ft). Hope you find something bigger I have a good idea what u're going thru. We didn't have a table or a couch for 3yrs. Finally got a luvseat got tired of folding chairs.

Quoting DifferentDay:" N I thought my space was tiny   sorry mama wish ur so could give up some space to make it less cramped. ... [snip!] ... good idea what u're going thru. We didn't have a table or a couch for 3yrs. Finally got a luvseat got tired of folding chairs."

Thanks, it's just such a crappy situation to be in and I'm so stressed out. The only living room furniture we have is my couch, we store everything on the divider/shelves.
What bugs me the most is that DH keeps promising to look for a place, stop buying crap and get our debt paid off so we can get out of here one day and then the next day he decides we're fine living here. He's just comfortable because he has his own space and is too lazy to move.

Hmm maybe you need to make it less comfortable then? Hubby is happy staying here too.... until I pitched a fit and filled all the spaces I could. I made it difficult to move around freely, 2 screaming running girls helped too lol now he's been paying debt like a mad man to get us outta here! Our kids have their tiny rm but living rm, bathroom, bedroom I made doors impossible to open all the way, couldn't use countertops to prepare so cooking was a nightmare, we don't have closets so that worked to my advantage. I was sneaky for 2 wks n he said he couldn't take it anymore we need to move esp. Be4 baby comes (): )

That's awful! I think it's only fair that she get a hotel of her own since that's what your mom had to do, plus she's a smoker. Talk to SO again. You guys should look for a 2 bedroom apartment in Burnaby, I highly suggest it, or look into renting a basement suite.

Quoting #3 is on the way!:" That's awful! I think it's only fair that she get a hotel of her own since that's what your mom had to ... [snip!] ... again. You guys should look for a 2 bedroom apartment in Burnaby, I highly suggest it, or look into renting a basement suite."

I'm good with Burnaby too as long as it's close to Hastings so I can bus it to doctor's appointments and stuff but he wants to stay here in this too expensive to live in area.

MIL can more than afford to pay for a hotel, my mom is unemployed and on disability and still scrapped together enough for her flight and hotel and was completely understanding that we didn't have room for her to stay here.

I think I'm just going to text her and say "Oh hey, Jon just told me you were finally coming to visit, are you staying at this hotel or this hotel?"