I have a problem

.... My first born died at 5 months with SIDS... I now have 16 month old girl... and she is from my very best friend in the entire world... I've been a wreck since losing my son... and my daughter's dad put me through hell... and for some reason,the last few weeks, I have been overcome with a feeling of guilt... and I've just found out her dad (without even a week between our seperation) is now living in a different city, with a different girl.... hasn't seen his daughter in over a month... I am so ridden with guilt... I NEVER cry... but I have not been able to stop crying in the past week,,,, I feel so guilty for bringing a child into this world out of the loss of my son... I don't know what to do with or how to interrupter these emotions.

Oh honey, that child was made with love, don't feel guilty about it. You are having a hard time right now and it's completely understandable with the what your ex is doing. I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time! But please don't feel guilty about bringing a blessing into this world, that child is the one giving you strength right now to keep on going. If she wasn't suppose to be in this world, you wouldn't have her, she is meant to be here.

Quoting Mommy2Kay:" Oh honey, that child was made with love, don't feel guilty about it. You are having a hard time right ... [snip!] ... strength right now to keep on going. If she wasn't suppose to be in this world, you wouldn't have her, she is meant to be here."

I don't know why I feel so bad.... she never would have happened if I didn't lose my son... NONE of this would have... I don't even know how to explain how I feel... I just feel so guilty. It's not her fault I can't get a job... or she stuck with a sad mom.. or no dad... I feel so bad.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" I don't know why I feel so bad.... she never would have happened if I didn't lose my son... NONE of ... [snip!] ... I just feel so guilty. It's not her fault I can't get a job... or she stuck with a sad mom.. or no dad... I feel so bad."

I know everything that you are feeling, I have been there. But with how bad my depressions have been I realize that my son saved my life, he is my little personal hero. I know our babies didn't ask to be brought up into a broken family but we can only try to make the best out of the situation. I know you will be able to provided more than what she needs someday, just be patient. I know how hard it is, I'm working on it myself but it will happen and life is going to fall into place.

Quoting Mommy2Kay:" I know everything that you are feeling, I have been there. But with how bad my depressions have been ... [snip!] ... just be patient. I know how hard it is, I'm working on it myself but it will happen and life is going to fall into place."

Yes and I agree with everything you're saying.... it's just this very strange... debilitating sensation of guilt... and I think I've finally narrowed it do PTSD.... I think I'm FINALLY feeling the loss of my son. And there is no one here to help me through it... I can onlypay my rent because of my family...and i'm 27 years old... I have a college degree.. I'm so sick of trying. How can I bring someone into this world when I can't handle it myslelf?

im so sorry for your loss. you took care of a baby for 5 months and he passed its not selfish that you would want to fill that void. your daughter is a miracle.

Quoting Sophie's dairy cow:" im so sorry for your loss. you took care of a baby for 5 months and he passed its not selfish that you would want to fill that void. your daughter is a miracle. "

She really is a miracle.