Depression kicking in almost a week after MC

I had a miscarriage Tues Oct 9th, at about 10wks (baby was only measuring 6.5wks tho and never did develope a heart-beat) I was having complications for almost 2 wks prior, so I kind of knew it was going to happen.. I was distraught and upset for the first few days of 'complictions' before I actually did MC. When it happened, I was fine.... I felt like I already grieved and accepted it. I went out on Friday with my friends, I really needed to 'get away' and have fun! I'm physically fine. Now today- I just feel like a mental breakdown is comming on. I have a history of depression and started seeing a therapist last Sept to help. I haven't seen her since June.. She is only in on Fridays, our schedules were conflicting- we went on vaca then she did then work just picked up and I haven't been able to get in, and was feeling very good - felt like I didn't really need too. My fiancé and I had just broke up in June, got back together last week of July, got engaged mid August and ttc right after we got back together... Found out we were preg last week of August. It was all comming together.... Now this MC, is making me doubt everything. I feel like we rushed getting back together and engaged- rushed getting pregnant- maybe we shouldn't have anymore kids.. Not much got 'fixed' once we got back together- he changed a lot, but lately is showing those things again. I just feel so smurfed up, emotionally/mentally.... I'm going to find a new therapist tomorrow- who has better days/hours, just really needed to vent. I feel crazy. All my old feelings are comming back, so I didn't change much either, I'm not trying to blame my fiancé. I just can't think straight

I'm sorry, mama.  

Thank you dear.

I'm so sorry hun. I think it is normal to go through the grieving after the initial shock of the loss. It is also normal part of grieving to be angry and it could be directed towards your fiance. When I miscarried I was angry towards my father. We argued the day of my miscarriage and I was blaming him for the stress of it. It was completely irrational of me but at the time I had to justify it. Pleaes know if you need to talk or vent I am here.

Quoting forgive-n let*love:" I had a miscarriage Tues Oct 9th, at about 10wks (baby was only measuring 6.5wks tho and never did develope ... [snip!] ... old feelings are comming back, so I didn't change much either, I'm not trying to blame my fiancé. I just can't think straight"

Wow I'm so sorry to hear all of this... 

You'll be up and down for a while about dealing with the MC. I know out of nowhere-even a year later it would hit me. It's an impossible thing to deal with and accept really. For your relationship to be better-it takes both of you. Has he seen a therapist? It couldn't hurt for you both to be going to one really..

You may have rushed into things after getting back together-you'd had that new giddy feeling again so I'm sure it's normal ya know. Hopefully you guys figure everything out. Relationships take work-that's for sure...

My only advice on marriage is you have to get married because it's the only person you want to be with forever. Too many people do it because it's the 'next step' and they crash and burn. You have to be dedicated to everything.

Keep your chin up...
Have you thought of getting on meds?

I'm so sorry for your loss - dealing with a loss on top of a relationship is exceptionally overwhelming. I agree that getting your fiance into counseling might prove to be very helpful for both of you. Marriage and couple counseling can help you guys get through the next couple of months and if the relationship is meant to be you will find your way through all of this. So very sorry!

<blockquote><b>Quoting min.:</b>" Wow I'm so sorry to hear all of this...  You'll be up and down for a while about dealing with ... [snip!] ... and they crash and burn. You have to be dedicated to everything. Keep your chin up... Have you thought of getting on meds?"</blockquote>




Ive thought of it yes, mentioned it to my therapist- who was not a physiologist and couldn't prescribe me. I was on Zoloft before but failed because I couldn't remember to take it daily, or I would for 8-10 days then would forget a few... I'm like that with all medication, birth control, ect.

He has not seen a therapist, no. He said in the past he would do coupled therapy with me... We don't know where to go for it, we're not religious- so don't want to go thru a church.

<blockquote><b>Quoting forgive-n let*love:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting min.:</b>" Wow I'm so sorry to hear all of this...  You'll ... [snip!] ... would do coupled therapy with me... We don't know where to go for it, we're not religious- so don't want to go thru a church."</blockquote>



Id highly recommed meds. I took me 3 different scripts before i found something that worked perfect for me-but once i did, i noticed i was a much different person and life was easier. If you have a chemical imbalance then it does amazing things!

I know a really good place is 'healing hands by paula' on shenango road. Shes kind of a hippie but shes great-thats bills therapist..