Relationship advice please

I have been dating a guy on and off for over six years. He has never asked me to be his girlfriend and whenever we are ”on” I just get tired of waiting around, start dating other people. I'm at a point where I just know he is really who I want to be with. Aside from the not committing he is a great guy and has been there for me through everything, neither of us want to give up. My problem is that he likes to build a relationship with time instead of sitting down to talk about it. I just can't do that, I need a point/day where he asks me to be his girlfriend. To me, that would make things official and I can open myself more. Idk how to express this to him, we have sat down and spoken about it but we couldn't agree. How can we start a relationship when we can't even agree how to start it? We have never had a fight, we are very passive and patient, everything about us together is perfect.

My biggest issue with this is that we have only had sex 2 times and it was 2-3 years ago. Since we are really trying to work on things right now, he expects us to start having sex again. I can't, I don't feel comfortable unless we are committed to each other. Technically we are, we aren't seeing other people but without we actually being bf/gf it doesn't feel right. I have been heartbroken before and this is my way of protecting myself but I guess this is his way of protecting himself too because he thinks I have cheated on him when I started seeing other people before (at the time we never stated it wasn't allowed). He doesn't understand that what lead me to do that was the fact that I felt we would just never be ”together”.

How can we move past this? I really can't give him what he wants unless he gives me what I want. Why is it so hard for him to simply call me his gf?

i'm guessing the answer is simple. He's just not that into you. let it go and move on

Honestly, if you have already explained to him what you need in order to really be together, and you're constantly on and off, and he STILL hasn't slapped a label on the ol' relationship, I think you should break it off. It seems like a gigantic waste of time.

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I have been dating a guy on and off for over six years. He has never asked me to be his girlfriend and ... [snip!] ... I really can't give him what he wants unless he gives me what I want. Why is it so hard for him to simply call me his gf? "</blockquote>




I have never been in an adult relationship where they've asked me to be their girlfriend. Ask him to be your boyfriend if titles are a big deal.

Quoting nursemaya -mommy to 2:" i'm guessing the answer is simple. He's just not that into you. let it go and move on"

I don't see how he isn't, he actually wants to relocate to where I am now.

could do what i did. tell him, ok but im your girlfriend. works pretty well if you want a title. just tell em. if they are ok with it, they just dont argue. :-P

Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I have been dating a guy on and off for over ... [snip!] ... in an adult relationship where they've asked me to be their girlfriend. Ask him to be your boyfriend if titles are a big deal."

My friend's have said this to me and really can't bring myself to do that lol. They actually want to do an intervention with both of us lmao (just them kidding around). But really, everyone just blames me for this telling me that I need to be more patient and stop dating other people and now I get what the point behind that, But I am really scared to put my heart into something and then just get burned. Next time we see each other I'm gonna touch the subject and just flat out ask what he wants. When we spoke about it, we were just talking about why it didn't work out in the past, I don't really know if he see things differently.

Quoting BG Secrets:" I don't see how he isn't, he actually wants to relocate to where I am now."

Its been 6 years. If he REALLY wanted to be with you it would have happened alreay. you are essentially the time waster until something better comes along. Someone to hang with until a real relationship with someone else happens. Plus 6 years and sex 2-3 - at best you are a friend that he happened to smurf one night and it wasn't good enough to turn it into even a smurf buddy or friends with benefits situation.

Quoting nursemaya -mommy to 2:" Its been 6 years. If he REALLY wanted to be with you it would have happened alreay. you are essentially ... [snip!] ... he happened to smurf one night and it wasn't good enough to turn it into even a smurf buddy or friends with benefits situation. "

But it really has been the other way around....I have been the one to mess things up. I had a child in between all of this, he hasn't even been in a serious relationship. I pushed him away after we had sex because I didn't know how I really felt and if I still loved my BD, I pushed him away so I wouldn't hurt his feelings.

Quoting BG Secrets:" I don't see how he isn't, he actually wants to relocate to where I am now."

smurf... forget "boyfriend/girlfriend"

you've been together..ish... for 6 years. sex 3 times... no ring, no kids, he's not into you.

Quoting I can see you:" smurf... forget "boyfriend/girlfriend" you've been together..ish... for 6 years. sex 3 times... no ring, no kids, he's not into you. "

exactly my point. If he REALLY wanted her, he would make it happen no matter what... or he's gay and she is a beard-ish. one or the other - either way a waste of time

Quoting I can see you:" smurf... forget "boyfriend/girlfriend" you've been together..ish... for 6 years. sex 3 times... no ring, no kids, he's not into you. "

Lol the things is, he wasn't the one that didn't want any of that, it was me. I guess I should have been more clear in the OP.

Quoting BG Secrets:" Lol the things is, he wasn't the one that didn't want any of that, it was me. I guess I should have been more clear in the OP."

ok if that's really the case, which i doubt, then what's the big deal? be with him say lets be exclusive and see what happens. I'm betting nothing

Doesn't seem like he wants to be with you, seems to me like he only wants to be a friend .. a friend with benefits! I'd kick him to the curve.

Some guys are just funny weird about stuff like that.
Honestly...6 yrs and he feels you cheated on him? I am thinking he thought you guys were already together? People in this day and age dont normally have words to make it official. You just "know" when you are a couple.