re: Relationship advice please

Correct me if I'm wrong, you didn't have the guts to tell 6 year dude you had feelings and wanted a commitment so you went and told your BD you were serious and wanted a commitment (you said you don't sleep around)?



Sounds like you just went for the guy who "said" he wanted you. You both are adults here, you should have just asked him if you guys were exclusive. That's not a hard thing to do. You were young fine, but still he doesn't see you as being a stable person to commit to, I wouldn't either.

I was seeing a guy when I was 19 before DH, I was still emotionally smurfed over my first boyfriend and wanted nothing to do with a relationship. He was much older and had been an awesome friend for 3 years, we became smurf buddies. We were not exclusive or so I thought. He got upset one night cause I started hanging out and going out with another guy, to the point where I sat him down and said "last time I checked we weren't exclusive, we never said we were. If that's what you want than you should have said so. I'm not a mind reader."

But the damage was done, he was afraid to become exclusive after that. In a lot of cases two people can be on completely different pages and not even know unless they talk about it.

It's been six years and he probably won't ever get over it enough to want to be exclusive with you.

Are you dating the guy that I used to date??? Like seriously?? I had a relationship so much like this I felt like I was reading my own story...
The man that I was with was much older then me and I really very much loved him. We were kinda off and on for years. I would always be the one to call us off b/c I just felt like we were going nowhere. I never got the g/f title (even though I found out later in his eyes we were in a relationship), and to me I just felt like he was having a hard time committing. And he was. We talked about it one day and he explained to me that he was at a point in his life where he felt insecure just throwing himself head on into something. Well, eventually he came around, but it was too late. I had already made up my mind to move on. It was hard and for a while I questioned my decision. But now I am happy and married to the love of my life. Only you will be able to decide what you can live with. I hope everything works out for you.

This whole situation blows my mind.

You both sound emotionally immature, and that's not intended as an insult. I don't know if you said your age, but I'm going to guess you're young and this 6 year things started when you were kids. You two cannot be over 25, I just.. I can't even understand. He's probably given you the wrong idea, because it sounds like he wants friendship and you're hopelessly in love with him... it's really sad. Grow some balls and tell him what you want/need. If you can't tell him that, then you shouldn't be together.

I am about 99% sure I know who the OP is in this post. She isnt immature at all. I havent ever seen anyone have problems with her. I will keep that all to myself though since if she wanted everyone to know who she was, she would have used her own page. Some people just feel uncomfortable assuming, I guess.
I am going to guess that since he was obviously hurt by her cheating (so that is the way he felt)...I am going to say this guy cares about her. You dont care if someone cheats or even think they cheated if you dont care.

Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" I am about 99% sure I know who the OP is in this post. She isnt immature at all. I havent ever seen anyone ... [snip!] ... am going to say this guy cares about her. You dont care if someone cheats or even think they cheated if you dont care."

Lol, well that's all great to say... but it doesn't disregard anything else said, because it's still an anonymous post. Another great thing about them is you get unbiased answers. I would answer differently if I knew her or more about her, or if I liked her vs. disliking her.

6 years and still no title? I dated my SO for one entire year before I got frustrated that we had no title. It sucked that we were committed to each other and he still couldn't call me his GF. His excuse was that he wanted to take things slow and get to know me better before calling me his gf. I just got fed up and pretty much gave him an ultimatum, give me a title or i'm gone. He chose the title and 3 1/2 years later and were still here. Although he does mention sometimes when we fight that I forced him into a relationship