Gone.

Honestly?
I tried to overdose on some sleeping meds, after ditching school for 2 weeks, and not eating. My grandma was worried so after the pills she took me to a doctor who asked me a hundred questions about how certain things made me feel. I must have said something she thought was worrisome since When I left that day she gave me a prescription for Effexor.

That was 6 years ago, Ive been off them for 3 years now, and I do ok, I have bad days where I dont want to bother with anything, but I make myself go through the motions and I have good days too.

Quoting Javi's Mami*[Bazinga!]:" How did you know or find out if you had depression? Whether it be PPD or just regular ol' depression. ... [snip!] ... a few years ago and I'm not sure I ever stopped :/ I can't tell if I'm actually happy or if I WANT to be happy so I fake it? "

I think if you think you might have it, you probably have it at least mildly. I thought I might have it for 2 years, and I definitely did. I did not realize how extremely bad it was until I got treatment. When you are depressed, sometimes you barely notice until you feel how you should be feeling.

I've dealt with depression since I was about 16 and I close myself off to everybody around me. I was always tired and never wanted come out of my room. When I was around people my heart would pound outta my chest. I'd have panic attacks to point it honestly felt like I was going to died be honest it was worse feeling ever. I had to go threw serval meds before the doctor found one that worked for me. I take lexpro now and it helps alot. Everybody diffrent and the levels one person feels might not be as extreme as the next person. But I'd go to health clinic if you dont have insurance.

Eeeeeveryone gets depressed at some point in their life. Everyone persons worst is their worst and that goes from breaking a nail to losing loved ones. The fact that you seem to have realized you're having issues is step one - and well done for that! You do need to do something about it and that DOES NOT mean medication. Medication can be great short term but you should try other methods of self help like counseling before hand. There are plenty of websites that can help you evaluate your life and help break bad things down to become more manageable. If you can not afford any type of help I do suggest telling someone close to you.