Quoting Alicia Holz:" i know i could get welfare but with this country this day and age i would rather have it go to a mom ... [snip!] ... fine leave me but what kind of life will you give the kids not even having a job and hes right..it wouldn't be much of a life.."
Let me tell you something and this isn't mean in a ignorant way but rather an eye opener.
I left my super controlling ex 3 years ago. He used to demean me so badly that I didn't want to have friends, or go anywhere. I was a slut for wanting to have a social life. He would do passive aggressive things to me when I was gone. Like cutting holes in my clothes, knowing I wouldn't wear them . No clothes, no money to buy them, that meant I didn't leave the house.
He constantly put me down for having PPD, not wanting to have sex and for being 'fat'. I quit my job to stay home with my son, and once I wanted to go back to work, it was always a song and dance about how everything would be MY responsibility and he wouldn't help me pull it off.
The night before I left him I asked him to wake up with my son, and he cheap shotted me in the face. Pulled me glasses off and stuck his fingers in my eyes until I saw stars.
You want to know something? I didn't even think twice about leaving him. I HAD to. Who knows what next time would have brought. I had no car, no money and no job, BUT I LEFT. I found a place to stay, and I hit the streets looking for a job. I applied for welfare, because it IS THERE for women like you and myself.
My children and I slept for a year in a twin bed with a space heater on an enclosed porch. I found a job, that I hated but I did it. I aggressively sought after the job I did want in this year's time. I got it.
3 years later I make MORE money. I am talking A LOT MORE MONEY than he does. I am completely self sufficient, and about to buy my first house.
Don't say you can't do it. Because you are capable, if you want it, you can do it.