re: Going Out As A Parent

Quoting Alicia Holz:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☾BizzyBee♉:</b>" No offense, but he's out of his ... [snip!] ... to my aunts from 9pm-11:15 pm cause i have to be home at 11:30 if hes nice i get out to midnight but thats maybe 1 time a month"

...That's a little controlling... What happens if you aren't home in time?

Quoting Alicia Holz:" i really dont go out at all like some people on here my husband also thinks its wrong for a mother and father to go out alot 3 times a year is ok tho but thats it..it does suck cause i get so lonely"

You can go out once your stuff is done? WTF? So he tells you "Oh the housework isnt done, cant go out!" And only to your aunts, for a couple hours?

Seriously, Id be divorcing that smurf.

Quoting FroggysMommy:" You can go out once your stuff is done? WTF? So he tells you "Oh the housework isnt done, cant go out!" And only to your aunts, for a couple hours? Seriously, Id be divorcing that smurf."

  

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☾BizzyBee♉:</b>" ...That's a little controlling... What happens if you aren't home in time?"</blockquote>




cant go out for a week or two

Quoting Alicia Holz:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☾BizzyBee♉:</b>" ...That's a little controlling... What happens if you aren't home in time?"</blockquote> cant go out for a week or two"

I'd be leaving his ass so fast...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Alicia Holz:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☾BizzyBee♉:</b>" No offense, but he's out of his ... [snip!] ... to my aunts from 9pm-11:15 pm cause i have to be home at 11:30 if hes nice i get out to midnight but thats maybe 1 time a month"</blockquote>




  Hello abusive red flags.

Quoting Alicia Holz:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☾BizzyBee♉:</b>" ...That's a little controlling... What happens if you aren't home in time?"</blockquote> cant go out for a week or two"

He "grounds" you?

What happens if he doesn't like what you are wearing? What happens if he doesnt like the things you are into or want to go out and do? Do you have to stop your whole life for him?

What if you dont agree with him, do you speak up????

<blockquote><b>Quoting FroggysMommy:</b>" He "grounds" you? What happens if he doesn't like what you are wearing? What happens if he doesnt ... [snip!] ... or want to go out and do? Do you have to stop your whole life for him? What if you dont agree with him, do you speak up????"</blockquote>




i have tired i just gave up

Quoting Alicia Holz:" <blockquote><b>Quoting FroggysMommy:</b>" He "grounds" you? What happens if he doesn't ... [snip!] ... whole life for him? What if you dont agree with him, do you speak up????"</blockquote> i have tired i just gave up"

Why not give up on him and leave his ass?

<blockquote><b>Quoting FroggysMommy:</b>" Why not give up on him and leave his ass?"</blockquote>




no job and 2 kids

Quoting Alicia Holz:" <blockquote><b>Quoting FroggysMommy:</b>" Why not give up on him and leave his ass?"</blockquote> no job and 2 kids"

Child support and get a job? Food stamps and welfare? Women are single mothers all the time, no one is ever tied down to someone because of lack of funding.

Quoting Alicia Holz:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☾BizzyBee♉:</b>" No offense, but he's out of his ... [snip!] ... to my aunts from 9pm-11:15 pm cause i have to be home at 11:30 if hes nice i get out to midnight but thats maybe 1 time a month"

wow. he's not your smurfing dad. he's supposed to be your partner.

i would be leaving the second he told me i had any limitations. you can get out. i have a friend that did it and honestly, the only job she had was a part time waitressing job at a very small retaurant. you can do it. please, for the sake of your children, leave that man.

Quoting Alicia Holz:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☾BizzyBee♉:</b>" No offense, but he's out of his ... [snip!] ... to my aunts from 9pm-11:15 pm cause i have to be home at 11:30 if hes nice i get out to midnight but thats maybe 1 time a month"

This is absurd. Why do you allow someone else to dictate your "curfew"?

Yes a simple heads up as to when you will be home IS respectful but to flat out be told when? No.

i know i could get welfare but with this country this day and age i would rather have it go to a mom who needs it more then me...plus i want to have my kids happy even if it means 70% i'm not happy...but i did think of something last night that might help me from now on i'm not going to think of my husband as my husband but as my father if he wants it so bad...i mean with you guys the ones who are married do you have to do all your chores before going out? do you guys have to ask to go out? cerfew? do you guys get a weekly allowence of $20 but thats only after you do your stuff and that money goes for your own one pack a week cigs and one tank of gas if you want to go out..if i even take the kids for ice cream and it costs $7 it comes out of next weeks pay so guess what i don't get to go out that week...while he gets to get a pack of smokes every other day and 3 6pks a week but its because he works 90 hours a week..but he doesn't want me to work cause he says he won't pay the $300 a week for daycare which i don't blame him but then he won't get a normal baby sitter even for 5 hours a day cause he doesn't trust anyone..only me and his mom are the only ones capable of watching the kids..okay after writing this man my life sucks..but i love my kids so i don't know what to do i want them to have the best life and everything in life..and he keeps telling me fine leave me but what kind of life will you give the kids not even having a job and hes right..it wouldn't be much of a life..

Quoting Alicia Holz:" i know i could get welfare but with this country this day and age i would rather have it go to a mom ... [snip!] ... fine leave me but what kind of life will you give the kids not even having a job and hes right..it wouldn't be much of a life.."

Not married but we live as such. NO. I do NOT have to ask permission to go out, and I do not have a curfew. I have equal, full access to the bank account. I'm also a full time college student. If I want to take DD out, as long as we have bill money, I can do whatever.

You are more than capable of working and supporting yourself and your kids. Your relationship has every red flag for abuse issues. Your first step needs to be to leave though. You do not want your children thinking that the way you're being treated is normal. The psychological hold he has on you is bad, and he knows it's there and that he has that control over you.