re: Going Out As A Parent

Quoting 12.21.07¤04.18.13:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:</b>" I miss getting drunk and having crazy ... [snip!] ... me too   but then, I did get pregnant on one of those nights when my mom had Ev so I could drink  "

hahaha My mom said she would love to watch both my kids as long as I was on a sure-fire BC from now on    

<blockquote><b>Quoting *-PoisonIvysMama-*:</b>" Yes!! I am very annoyed by this behavior. It is also the grandparents fault for saying yes to watching ... [snip!] ... sacrificed time and their life for you, it is only right you do the same for your child. Otherwise, what are you teaching them?"</blockquote>




Since when are grand kids a "burden" to their grandparents? Do you not think some grandparents enjoy having those overnights a few times a month??

You sound so uptight and miserable frankly. Lol and the fact that you would report your own kids for going out and drinking while they leave YOUR grand kids with you. If I worked for CPS I would laugh my ass off at a report like that. Thats not a child being in immediate danger unless they were in danger being an your house of course. Having children does not mean your life as an individual adult ends....adults who are responsible and work hard all week and spend time with their kids DESERVE nights out to do whatever the hell they want to.

Quoting .Colleen.:" you sound jealous. There is nothing wrong with parents having a night out without the kids."

This. Kids dont need to be up their parents butts all the time. Its sickening that parents judge each other saying "GASP! You are going out 2 weekends in a row! You must be a bad parent or not care about your child at all!" Seriously... stupid.

It is really, really dumb to have that mindset. So parents cant go out? They cant drink? Completely asinine.

Sounds like jealousy to me.

Quoting O ♥ G:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *-PoisonIvysMama-*:</b>" Yes!! I am very annoyed by this behavior. ... [snip!] ... are responsible and work hard all week and spend time with their kids DESERVE nights out to do whatever the hell they want to."

exactly.

Quoting BuggyBoo:" Yes, but you're taking it to an extreme and making it personal. I said parents who go out all the time, ... [snip!] ... get bothered by parents who do? I find it unacceptable when parents are in bars all the time as oppose to raising them. Sue me."

So what is so different about a parent going out to a bar and a parent sittting at home while the child is with their grandparents? My grandparents moved in with us while I was very young. But before then, they INSISTED me and my sister stay with them every weekend. So my mom either stayed at home or went out. Whats the difference of "Oh grandpa wants baby, we should just stay home!" and "Grandpa wants baby, lets go to a club!"

Seriously.... whats the difference? You think its a matter of not RAISING them? Seriously you are delusional. Someone watching your kid for a few hours a night or even a whole weekend is not RAISING you. Ya know, my daughter and I live with my parents. I RAISE her. Even when I go to my boyfriends house... I raise her. She is all mine but they do watch her a lot. Having a night out doesnt mean not raising your child.

Quoting BuggyBoo:" I think it is acceptable to be able to have some private time maybe once a week with your friends or spouse/partner, but when it becomes every single weekend with no let-up or every single night than yes, I think you are lacking in your parenting duties.."

I go out every single weekend, without my child. She comes maybe once every 3 times. I either go to the bar, a party, a "rave" if you will, go out of town, but mainly, a VAST majority of the time, I relax at my boyfriends house. Chill out, with no kids.

Damn.... I am sooooooooooo lacking in my parental duties!  

Quoting BuggyBoo:" 1. No, I a not making it dramatic. I elaborated on what I meant and what I found acceptable and what ... [snip!] ... say you "need" to go out all the time is ridiculous. No one "needs" that they just want it and it makes life more bearable."

Who are you to judge who "needs" a night out? I need a night out at least 2-3 times a month. More like 3. I am stressed as smurf with being a sick single parent. But oh, someone saying they NEED a break from their kids is ridiculous to you? I love my kid, but yeah, sometimes I need a damn break and want to just go to my boyfriends house!

Why do some people think that when we become parents we should lose our identity? I try and get out twice a month and judgemental idiots like you will never make me feel guilty for doing so! What adults do in their own time is up to them. If they want to get drunk then that's up to them, as long as it does not affect their parenting. Being a parent can be so hard and we all need some "me time" somewhere along the line.

I love going out to eat and catch a comedy! Drinking is not my thing but no way am I going to judge someone for getting drunk on their nights off!

My Mom would go to the bars A LOT and she would bring strangers home with her.
I don't see anything wrong with going out every weekend as long as your child is being taken care of & you're not just pawning them off to random people all the time then there's really nothing to worry about.

Just mind your own business.

The OP would totally not approve of my life. My SO and I spend every Saturday after work alone. We shop, go on dates, sometimes stay home and do the diddy all night long. EVERY weekend.

Sunday through Friday I work, put a hot meal on the table every night, keep up with my home, take care of the kiddos, ALONE. My SO and I are both in the transportation industry. We work opposite shifts, so we don't see eachother but twice a week. One night alone together, one night with the kids.

If you are genuinely concerned for how well my kids are taken care of, I would gladly trade places with you. I bet you interact with your husband daily. I bet you spend atleast a half hour every day doing absolutely nothing.

As I said before, different people, different needs. As much as my SO loves my kids, they are not his. We also need time to allow our relationship to grow.

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" Yeah, i just hate when people say that parents who go out on weekends are not being responsible or are pawning their kids off on their parents or whatever... "

 
My ex huaband was deployed and I had a 7 month old and a 2 year old, and running everything by myself. I was overwhelmed and a good family friend forced me to go out a couple times while he was deployed because my sanity depended on it. Went out and had a great time and posted a pic of me and my friend on Facebook one night. What's the first thing people ask? OMG WHAT ABOUT YOUR KIDS? ...wow, really?   Me working my ass off and taking care of the two babies and one of the only nights I do go out.. people talk smurf. Awesome!

Quoting 12.21.07¤04.18.13:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *-PoisonIvysMama-*:</b>" Yes!! I am very annoyed by this behavior. ... [snip!] ... the smurf ever dude   my kid is happy, the assorted family members are happy, and i'm happy and drunk every weekend  "

Good for you. I just see it differently. I am very cautious and if for some reason my LOs needed me while I was out, I better be able to come to their rescue.

Quoting O ♥ G:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *-PoisonIvysMama-*:</b>" Yes!! I am very annoyed by this behavior. ... [snip!] ... are responsible and work hard all week and spend time with their kids DESERVE nights out to do whatever the hell they want to."

I've seen it. A child gets pawned off to mom or dad (grandpa/grandma), and the mom goes out and gets drunk. She will call and say she cannot pick up the LO because she is, or is hung over or is having too much fun.

Sure a parent deserves some time off, I'm not saying they don't. I am saying that a parent needs to understand that you now have a little person that looks up to you and needs you even when you plan to go out.

If you got a call from your mom saying your LO wanted you to come get her, would you? What if your babysitter had a heart attack?

I don't think we think about these situations when we go out and drink.
I'm not talking about a beer with dinner or simple glass of wine. I'm talking about getting buzzed or drunk when I comment.

Yes, I would report them if they continued to abuse the substance and use me as a caretaker. Obviously a child does not need to be around someone that continues to try to get away. Once a week, maybe, but not every night. This is what I am referring to.

Your child looks up to you in all you do.

Quoting *-PoisonIvysMama-*:" I've seen it. A child gets pawned off to mom or dad (grandpa/grandma), and the mom goes out and gets ... [snip!] ... away. Once a week, maybe, but not every night. This is what I am referring to. Your child looks up to you in all you do. "

So you would waste CPS time because someone wasnt spending the amount of time you thought was right with their children

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" So you would waste CPS time because someone wasnt spending the amount of time you thought was right with their children "

Re-read the post.