For the sperm donor to get overnights with a two week old breastfeeding newborn?




My son and my now IUD failure baby's sperm donor has never been around. He ditched when my son was 6 months which is when I met my SO who has been my son's dad.

Well now he's deciding he wants to reappear in their lives for good and is demanding that he gets overnights 3-4 nights a week when my newborn is two weeks old!

I'm saying smurf no. I don't want him to get my kids at all. He will most likely ditch out again and my SO is the only dad my son knows.

3-4 nights a week seems like an awful lot for a newborn. Maybe a couple of hours during the day

Eh that's tough he has a legal right he is the father...

nope. at 2 weeks a newborn should be with the mother as much as possible, especially if breastfeeding. and you should take him to court to get full custody

No, it was in my custody order that my breastfed DD wouldn't do over nights until she weened. But my XH and I still get along so it wasn't a issue. He knew it wasn't in her best interest to do overnights, nursing was her security blanket.

Quoting Daniee:" Eh that's tough he has a legal right he is the father..."

A judge wouldn't give him overnights, but he would be awarded with visitation.

<blockquote><b>Quoting misanthrope:</b>" No, it was in my custody order that my breastfed DD wouldn't do over nights until she weened. But my ... [snip!] ... get along so it wasn't a issue. He knew it wasn't in her best interest to do overnights, nursing was her security blanket."</blockquote>




I've been hearing that the courts aren't caring if you're breastfeeding anymore and are telling the mother to pump.

I don't know what I would do if I had my newborn taken from me for overnights against my will :'(

<blockquote><b>Quoting misanthrope:</b>" A judge wouldn't give him overnights, but he would be awarded with visitation."</blockquote>




Yes of course, but it kinda seems like she doesn't want him around at all. That's why I said that. There is no way I'd be comfortable with over nights.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Daniee:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting misanthrope:</b>" A judge wouldn't give him overnights, but ... [snip!] ... seems like she doesn't want him around at all. That's why I said that. There is no way I'd be comfortable with over nights."</blockquote>




I don't mind the visitation, it's the overnights I'm not at all comfortable with.

Quoting .BAM bitch.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting misanthrope:</b>" No, it was in my custody order that my breastfed ... [snip!] ... telling the mother to pump. I don't know what I would do if I had my newborn taken from me for overnights against my will :'("

I would just get a good lawyer. It's not i the best interest of the baby, and that is what courts look at. Looking into the laws in your state Utah does favor children staying with mothers.

I'd take it to court. He IS the father, so he should be allowed to see his kids. And if you want to get child support, visitation would most likely be given to him. Though i severely doubt that a judge would grant overnights with a newborn. And if they DID, i would get a note from my doctor saying that for AT LEAST the first 6 weeks, my baby cant have a bottle since it can cause nipple confusion. After 6 weeks though, you can pump bottles.

<blockquote><b>Quoting misanthrope:</b>" I would just get a good lawyer. It's not i the best interest of the baby, and that is what courts look at. Looking into the laws in your state Utah does favor children staying with mothers."</blockquote>




I was just reading about that. Thank you  

Custody & Visitation Issues


There are only three states that address breastfeeding and custody/visitation in their statutes: Maine, Michigan, and Utah. Maine considers the breastfeeding of a child under the age of one year in its determination of what custody arrangement is in the best interest of the child. Breastfeeding, however, is just one of many factors to be considered. A court in Michigan, when determining parenting time, must take into consideration whether a child younger than six months is breastfed, or if one younger than a year "receives substantial nutrition" by breastfeeding.

Utah provides for a minimum visitation schedule for children under the age of five, but "the lack of reasonable alternatives to the needs of a nursing child" may be taken into consideration.
The lack of a statute does not mean that a judge cannot consider breastfeeding issues in determining visitation or custody. Courts will consider the child's best interests in dealing with family law issues. Additionally, there may be prior court decisions in individual states that recognize the issue of breastfeeding in family law situations. Referring a mother to articles on the LLL Web site (www.lalecheleague.org/Law/LawMain.html) written by Liz Baldwin is a starting point. Area Professional Liaison Leaders may also have information regarding prior court decisions in their states that may be helpful to a mother. The latest American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement on breastfeeding calls on health care professionals to support the efforts of parents and the courts to ensure continuation of breastfeeding in separation and custody proceedings.

Quoting .BAM bitch.:" For the sperm donor to get overnights with a two week old breastfeeding newborn? My son and my now ... [snip!] ... smurf no. I don't want him to get my kids at all. He will most likely ditch out again and my SO is the only dad my son knows."

my sons father is pretty much just a sperm donor..he wasnt around for the pregnancy and now that my son is born he says he wants to be involved but my son is 8 weeks and he has seen his son maybe 8 times and expects to get him HALF the time and expects overnights right now which im not even letting him take my son right now due to the fact he never comes over and sees him and i am strictly nursing also and i dont want him to stay overnight for atleast a year. it is COMPLETELY unreasonable that he should have a 2 week old that is breastfeeding, the baby needs to be with you! breastfed babies should be with their mothers constantly for atleast 6 months. i honestly dont think the father of my son really cares about his son, i believe it is his mother that cares, bc she is VERY involved and he is not around whatsoever

He doesn't deserve smurf. Everyone say he deserves it because he is the father, if it's court ordered than yea, but if you don't have anything ordered you don't have to give him anything. I wouldn't do it.