just found out baby's daddy', ex girlfriend is trying to get

well this is my first time ever posting in or using a forum, so I guess my story is that I found out I'm pregnant to a guy I'd been dating for a short time just 3 months, birth control doesn't always work.
I have just found out that his ex is back in the picture, they have a child together, when we met I was told they were split up 7 months, It's all a little to much drama for me at 36 years old I thought I'd not have to be dealing with this kind of thing, but it look's like the ex has the upper hand here and knows how to push his button's, and I will not get in the middle of this, I will not compete for his attention, I guess i'm just looking for some advice on how to deal with all this, it's such a mess, I don't even know what to say to him anymore.

let him go, his ex can have him. When the baby arrives, file for child support.


Good luck

Quoting loser mom:" let him go, his ex can have him. When the baby arrives, file for child support. Good luck"

  

You can't force him to be with you or to be in your child's life. But you can get child support  

But really, if you aren't willing to deal with the drama, lay down the law. I wouldn't want to be with him in that situation (the ex in the picture) so I'd just explain where you stand and leave it be. If he wants to be a part of your/the baby's life, then that's up to him. But remove yourself from the drama as much as you can ASAP. Stress is never good.

Quoting loser mom:" let him go, his ex can have him. When the baby arrives, file for child support. Good luck"

Agree. I know I couldnt handle all that.

If I was in your situation I would leave and let the ex have him... too much baggage and you will never be rid of her if you stay.

If he knows your pregnant boot him keep him informed if he would like if not more leverage to you if not if he dont know your pregnant tell him then boot him than everything custody and child support services will love the bigger person more.... And keep records texts are awesome to use

Personally, I would get an abortion if it is not too late. (Not sure if you just found out...)

But if you have decided to keep the child then I would start looking for a birth partner. (Maybe your mom or sister.) Focus on staying healthy and having a good pregnancy. Start looking into what you need to do to prepare for baby financially (make a budget, get life insurance, write a will). I would also get on a waiting list for daycare for when you return to work (based on your due date and mat leave length) if your city has long wait lists like mine. (Mine has an 18 month wait list for most good ones.) Let him know that you plan to keep the baby and see a mediator to discus visitation and child support.

Good luck!

thank you so much ladies for the replys, I don't even want him near me that's not an issue, he is melting my head, trying to push for an abortion, I would not judge anyone who ever has, its not my place to do so, but it's not something I would do, he just want's me to do that so he can get on with his life, he is being very under handed in trying to mess with my head because there my already be problems with the baby the heart rate is slow.  

Quoting nikkicc1:" thank you so much ladies for the replys, I don't even want him near me that's not an issue, he is melting ... [snip!] ... very under handed in trying to mess with my head because there my already be problems with the baby the heart rate is slow.  "

I'll be thinking of you and the baby! (forget that jackass!!!)

Thank you Kim <3
looking after the baby will not be a problem, I'm very lucky to have a great job, I live in a four bedroom home with my two kid's I already have, I guess I'm just waiting on the drama that is bound to follow once his ex girlfriend find's out, and part of me is glad that I get to what kind of a rat he is now, (sure didn't see it before) 

Quoting Leannah Carrasco:" If he knows your pregnant boot him keep him informed if he would like if not more leverage to you if ... [snip!] ... everything custody and child support services will love the bigger person more.... And keep records texts are awesome to use"

He know's i'm pregnant, and he is confussed about what to do as he "has feeling's for me" LMAO.
The real issues is me learning to get my head around the fact the he has not even offered to come to the hospital with me knowing there may be a problem with the baby. what kind of a man would be like that

Hes not a man and I honestly dont think he cares for this baby but he wants at you ....you cant have mommy with out baby its a package deal  

I would just tell his ex that it is what it is. There's no reason to be immature about it all and if she wants to be catty and cause fights, you aren't buying into it.

As for him not going to the hospital, he's going to feel like a douche (rightfully so) when baby is here and is the most amazing child he's ever known. That is, if he has any kind of heart at all. I don't know any decent man that wouldn't feel amazing after becoming a father (even if it's a second, third, forth, or 100th child.)

Quoting loser mom:" let him go, his ex can have him. When the baby arrives, file for child support. Good luck"