re: DH crossed the line?

Quoting Stacey30:" Financial reasons and the fact we have 4 kids."

and?

That still does not make it right.

No wonder this guy has so much pent up anger with the smurf you're pulling

Quoting Stacey30:" Financial reasons and the fact we have 4 kids."

So get a job, be independent and take care of yourself instead of relying on him. Stop hurting him, seriously. I'm not going to lie, if my SO brought home an STD, I would smurf his ass up.

okay. so when everyone agreed on an open relationship, it's fine to see other people if both parties were OKAY with it. but now, since your HUSBAND is NOT OKAY with you seeing this guy, and wants a closed relationship, you should respect what he wants for YALLS marriage and cut ties with the guy. if you don't want to cut ties, then you need to think about if you really love your husband and respect what he wants, and if you should really be together?

i don't agree with open relationships-but that's my personal opinion, but now that your DH is not comfortable anymore with you being open - you need to respect what he wants.

put yourself in his shoes.. and think about the situation in another perspective.

also - to me, it sounded like he was being sexually aggressive, and not like he really meant to harm you. i've been with one guy who would choke me while making out or having sex - i wasn't used to that at first, and it kinda freaked me out. but it was all in the moment. he was sweet outside of that, and him choking me actually turned me on a little...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Stacey30:</b>" It was kind of the risk we both took when we opened the relationship."</blockquote>




But now he closed it. Don't bring home anymore STD's to him. I think you are pathetic. How dare you keeping seeing a man your husband said you needed to stop seeing. How dare you use him for financial needs. Stop being so smurfing selfish

Quoting Stacey30:" I did use protection. It's not always 100% effective especially when it breaks. I did get an std and I did give it to my husband."

if my DH was messing around with other women and brought home a STD, i'd be smurfing pissed off.

now, in my case i have a viral STD - that i will never be able to get rid of. BUT my DH knew this beforehand. so he opted to take the risk of contracting it. we have been together over a yr, and he still does NOT have it. but for you to go smurf other people and bring one home to your DH?? no, no acceptable.

if you can't respect your husband, you need to divorce him and let him be happy

Quoting Andi+Andy=Marley+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Stacey30:</b>" It was kind of the risk we both took when we ... [snip!] ... a man your husband said you needed to stop seeing. How dare you use him for financial needs. Stop being so smurfing selfish"

    


where the hell are your kids during all this?

Quoting *Amo a Mis Nenas*:" if my DH was messing around with other women and brought home a STD, i'd be smurfing pissed off. now, ... [snip!] ... bring one home to your DH?? no, no acceptable. if you can't respect your husband, you need to divorce him and let him be happy"

do you mind me asking what you have?

Quoting Spyro:" do you mind me asking what you have?"

herpes simplex virus

my BD was cheating on me - and i contracted it after the birth of our first daughter. i've also been through a second pregnancy, and given birth vaginally and haven't passed it onto my second daughter.

i also take medicine every day to help the virus stay inactive, so making chances for DH to get it slimmer - but he knows that at any point in time, it's possible for him to get it

i also havent had an outbreak in almost 4 years - and it's more likely to pass it on when the virus is active...


and we do not use condoms - his choice.. so like i said, he knows the risks he is taking

so in my case - my BD was cheating one me, brought home a STD - and now i have to suffer the consequences for the rest of my life for him being a douche.

OP - what if you bring home something your DH will never be able to get rid of? or have you already brought home a STD like this??

Quoting *Amo a Mis Nenas*:" herpes simplex virus my BD was cheating on me - and i contracted it after the birth of our first daughter. ... [snip!] ... it on when the virus is active... and we do not use condoms - his choice.. so like i said, he knows the risks he is taking"

i hate cheating ass holes. my ex husband gave me chylmidia (cant spell worth smurf)

Quoting Spyro:" i hate cheating ass holes. my ex husband gave me chylmidia (cant spell worth smurf)"

yeah. i've come to terms with it. bc i know its something i can never change. but sometimes i wonder why it had to happen to me. i was 17. he was like the 3rd guy i had ever been with. and i didn't sleep with more than one person any given point of time.. sometimes i wonder why the slutty girls who smurf a smurf ton of people dont get STD...

this is also a reason i never really dated, i've been with two guys since getting HSV - a guy i work with, which also knew beforehand. and my DH. mostly bc i just don't want to be that person who gives it to everyone..

now i had a lot of guys want to have sex with me. and even though they were super sexy, i just couldn't bring myself to do it... kwim??

but on a side note - at least yours could be treated and cured with meds.. i think i'll forever hate my BD for giving me this, plus all the other smurf he put me through..

Quoting *Amo a Mis Nenas*:" okay. so when everyone agreed on an open relationship, it's fine to see other people if both parties ... [snip!] ... me out. but it was all in the moment. he was sweet outside of that, and him choking me actually turned me on a little..."

Wow. Okay... where to start with this. Domestic Violence is not okay. Period. Full stop. He put his hands on her to hurt her because he was angry. That is domesitc violence - it is abuse!

If two adults have talked about adding some rough play or S&M into their relationship and consented to doine something (like choking in your case) then that is a totally different situation and has nothing to do with abuse.

Also, she didn't cheat on him. They agreed to have an open relationship. They were both naive enough to think that there wouldn't be emotional complications or STD's but there were. They made a bad decision together.

She is not the problem. He is. He set her free and then changed his mind. That is fine - people can change thier minds! When you change the rules, again, they need to discus what happens next like adults. If he feels like her continued relationship is cheating then he can leave her - but he can not abuse her! There is NEVER an excuse for abuse!

Quoting Lotusmama:" Wow. Okay... where to start with this. Domestic Violence is not okay. Period. Full stop. He put his ... [snip!] ... her continued relationship is cheating then he can leave her - but he can not abuse her! There is NEVER an excuse for abuse!"

good thing no one said that what he was doing was acceptable  

Quoting Lotusmama:" Wow. Okay... where to start with this. Domestic Violence is not okay. Period. Full stop. He put his ... [snip!] ... her continued relationship is cheating then he can leave her - but he can not abuse her! There is NEVER an excuse for abuse!"

She's cheating on him now. He asked her to end the relationship which right there indicates that he doesn't want an open relationship anymore. She refused. She's cheating. Not only is she cheating but she gave him an STD. That's nasty.

Quoting Spyro:" good thing no one said that what he was doing was acceptable  "

You're implying that it is okay. The question was did he cross the line and all you do is talk about how mad you would be if you were him!