Two Months Later...

Colton, can you believe it’s been two months? Two months since you were taken away from me so, so, so long before you should have. I don’t know how I’ve lived this long without you, but I’m doing the best I can to survive. For you and for our little girl. But I miss you so much.

I miss you every single day. I miss you when I wake up at night and roll over, only to realize that your side of the bed is cold. I miss you and "Don't Stop Believin'" every time I turn on the shower.
I miss you when I see a gorgeous sunset, and remember the first time you kiss me. I miss your kisses.
I miss you everytime I see a butterfly. I miss you calling me your butterfly. I was never graceful, but with you I was the most elegant princess in existence.
I miss you everytime I hear one of my friend's complain about their husband not being willing to compromise on names. I wish you were here to argue about names with me.
I miss you when I get up the nerve to roll out of bed and go bathroom, and realize that the toilet seat's actually down.
I miss you everytime I hear 'You and Me'. I wish we could've had one more dance. By the way, I miss dancing in the cereal aisle, and making out in the bakery department.
I miss you when I hear "Mine" on the radio. I wish you were here to make fun of it.

I miss your big brown eyes that made me melt, every single time you stared at me. I miss drinking wine on the roof under the moon. I miss the way you romanced me, every single day.

I miss you making fun of my cooking. I miss trying to cook something edible beyond macaroni and cheese.

I miss our fights, when we’d really get into it. I miss looking at you and feeling sooo pissed off at you. I miss putting down toilet seats, refolding my underwear, and cleaning toast crumbs off the counter.

I miss watching Blue Jays games with you. We never did get our World Series, did we?

I miss hearing you complain about the potential NHL lockout. You’d be furious now, bud.

I miss you reading “I’ll Love You Forever” to my belly. I miss you singing to me. I miss you playing your guitar for our girl.

I miss you whenever I hear the words skinny dipping. I don’t know how you ever talked me into doing that, but I’d do it again.

I miss you when I hear Kenny Chesney’s “Summertime”. That summer will always be in my heart.

I miss playing football in the backyard. The leaves are falling now, and it’s the perfect day for a game of catch.

I miss you trying to steal my maternity underwear. That was the weirdest thing ever.

I miss you teasing me about my feathers. No bird was ever harmed in the making of my hairpiece, thank you very much.

I miss the little stolen moments you’d grab, to romance and woo me further.

I miss chocolate kisses on the remote control. You were so full of surprises.

I miss you when I think of Christmas, and snowmen Santa’s on the doorstep.

I miss your insanity. You were absolutely crazy, and I loved every moment of it.

I miss cuddling up in a thunderstorm. You know how they terrified me, and when they came, your arms were my sanctuary.

I miss you making fun of my spider fear. Even the hairy tarantula prank.

I miss you every day, baby.

I love you forever. I love you to the moon and back. I love you to infinity and beyond. I’ll always love you. You were my best friend, and the best 11 years of my life. Forever my angel.

i am so sorry for your loss, i couldnt imagine   that made me cry.

Made me cry! I am so sorry for your loss. Stay strong mama <3

Pulled some heart strings   So sorry for your loss mama!

Sorry for your loss. 

You are so strong, mama! I'm so sorry for your loss; if you ever need someone, feel free to PT me.

Sorry for you loss!  

If you don't mind me asking what happened to your husband?

That was really heart wrenching   Im so so sorry for your loss.

Quoting Layla's Momma ♥:" Sorry for you loss!   If you don't mind me asking what happened to your husband?"

Colt was killed in the last way I would have imagined. He was killed while driving to his buddy's place to watch a baseball game. I was supposed to go along, but I backed out at the last minute because I wasn't feeling great. I will never forget the moment when he came into the bedroom, gave me a kiss, and asked if I wanted him to stay. I had said no, since I was just going to sleep anyways. He kissed me one more time, said he loved me and he'd see me tonight, and then was gone. And I wish, with all my heart, that I had asked him to stay.

Quoting Colton's Butterfly:" Colt was killed in the last way I would have imagined. He was killed while driving to his buddy's place ... [snip!] ... time, said he loved me and he'd see me tonight, and then was gone. And I wish, with all my heart, that I had asked him to stay."

I'm so sorry... This made me cry. I can't even imagine what you're going through, but if you need to talk, feel free to PM me. <3

I'm so sorry for your loss! I'm getting looked at like an idiot because I'm crying in a space where there is a crowd. You are very very strong and I think it's amazing how you're honoring your husband by giving your daughter his name (I like Hailee Coltin btw, just a thought)!

You're amazing! Feel free to PM me and PT me, I'll talk to you anytime you like!