Quoting Brandi Lynn White:" My kid wont even tell me when she is going. She is very independent and wont let us in the room or i would have no problem going in a wiping her. "
Well don't you know WHEN she is going to the bathroom? It is really easy to know when my son goes because things get quiet and he obviously isn't playing. If you know when she goes then when she gets out ask if she wiped her butt and flushed the toilet. Explain that it is yucky to just leave it there.