re: I cheated on my army husband of 10 years

Quoting Andi+Andy=Marley+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" But then why are many humans so jealous ... [snip!] ... meant to be with one person. Or atleast not for long periods of time. Jealous would not be an issue if polygamy wasnt so taboo"

Well I would rather see polygamy/ polyandry legalized than for couples to go behind each other's backs.

But who is really going to want to share their husband/wife?

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" See, I don't think I could ever cheat b/c I have seen and experienced the devastation it causes (from ... [snip!] ... do it. Now, that doesn't mean I wouldn't think about it, but thinking and acting on those thoughts are two different things."

Add alcohol... see what happens.  

No, but seriously, it's one thing when you're sober, then yeah, but like I said, under certain circumstances and you put yourself in a smurffy situation and smurf can happen. Not saying everyone will cheat and obviously it's up to the person to stay OUT of those situations, but some people have to live and learn the hard way... Just sayin'.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Well I would rather see polygamy/ polyandry legalized than for couples to go behind each other's backs. But who is really going to want to share their husband/wife?"

Maybe people WOULD if we weren't taught to think it was wrong.... food for thought. Again, JS.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kaysay:</b>" I definitely think humans weren't made to be monogamous, but if two humans decide to co-habitate and ... [snip!] ... from there. But people need to realize that what society says is the "right thing to do" may NOT be the right thing for them."</blockquote>



Hmmm....nicely put. I love the way you talk.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Well I would rather see polygamy/ polyandry legalized than for couples to go behind each other's backs. But who is really going to want to share their husband/wife?"

I would totally share my husband if it meant if she was a good enough cook.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Post-tato Head™:</b>" Maybe people WOULD if we weren't taught to think it was wrong.... food for thought. Again, JS.  "</blockquote>



Yup, I agree. I would be willing to share my husband if she was willing to share me. Sometimes there are needs to be met that one person can not fullfill so some reason or another

Quoting Kenzie +€ @m¤:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kaysay:</b>" I definitely think humans weren't made to be monogamous, ... [snip!] ... "right thing to do" may NOT be the right thing for them."</blockquote> Hmmm....nicely put. I love the way you talk."

Daw, thanks!    

Quoting Kaysay:" I definitely think humans weren't made to be monogamous, but if two humans decide to co-habitate and ... [snip!] ... from there. But people need to realize that what society says is the "right thing to do" may NOT be the right thing for them."

Very good post!

I can completely understand why someone wouldn't want to know about an affair. Ignorance is truly a bliss, but for safety reasons, I would need to know for my own piece of mind. Imagine if your SO cheated on you and gave you herpes or HIV?

When I meant "open" and "honest" I didn't mean tell every single thing about yourself, but cheating is just something too big not to tell imo. I would have more respect for my SO if he came up and told me that he had made a terrible mistake and that he was sorry and would never do it again. In fact, my mother's best friend's husband cheated on her, felt so bad that he told her the same day and NEVER strayed again. But I would NEVER want to find it out from a friend or family member.

And I do agree with that last paragraph. I do think, however, that she isn't happy and that from the sounds of her post, her marriage could use some counseling. And that isn't a bad thing. With my mom's friend's situation, their marriage is now stronger than ever.

Knowing me, though, I would pull a "Waiting to Exhale" on his ass, lol.

Quoting Andi+Andy=Marley+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Post-tato Head™:</b>" Maybe people WOULD if we weren't ... [snip!] ... if she was willing to share me. Sometimes there are needs to be met that one person can not fullfill so some reason or another"

I guess that begs another question: Is it possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time equally?

Quoting Kaysay:" I definitely think humans weren't made to be monogamous, but if two humans decide to co-habitate and ... [snip!] ... from there. But people need to realize that what society says is the "right thing to do" may NOT be the right thing for them."

Very well said and I agree 100%!

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" I guess that begs another question: Is it possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time equally?"

I believe you can love more than one person, but it might be hard to be IN love with more than one. I love my husband still and I love the man I have had a long affair with.

Quoting khigh:" I believe you can love more than one person, but it might be hard to be IN love with more than one. I love my husband still and I love the man I have had a long affair with. "

Would you say the love you have for the two of them are different kinds of love?

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Would you say the love you have for the two of them are different kinds of love?"

Yep. I love my husband as the father of my child and because he was/is my husband and provider.

I love the man I am having an affair (if you could call it that since husband knows about him now) because of the way he makes me feel, his personality, and the fun we have together. He is my lover.

<blockquote><b>Quoting khigh:</b>" Yep. I love my husband as the father of my child and because he was/is my husband and provider. ... [snip!] ... knows about him now) because of the way he makes me feel, his personality, and the fun we have together. He is my lover."</blockquote>




You're husband knows?

Quoting khigh:" Yep. I love my husband as the father of my child and because he was/is my husband and provider. ... [snip!] ... knows about him now) because of the way he makes me feel, his personality, and the fun we have together. He is my lover."

So I take it you are no longer in love with your husband?

Is your husband okay with all of this? I would imagine him being devastated.