re: I cheated on my army husband of 10 years

Tell him! think if it was the other way around... you would always want him to tell you the truth right! so that's what he should get back!...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Post-tato Head™:</b>" Don't tell him. Telling him will hurt him more than it will help. If the affair is over and you're not ... [snip!] ... told him, so I'm just saying from personal experience. If you've changed your ways and ended the affair then good for you.)"</blockquote>




I agree with this. I have cheated on my DH an I had no intensions of telling him because I wasn't going to do it again. The guilt was my own thing tO work out. It didn't happen that way though. A friend of mine told him. We worked it out but if I could have it my way DH would have never known

Quoting JeNnAs MoMoM:" I would go to the grave with that secret. It could cause more harm to your marriage than you can imagine and I personally would not risk that... unless you're unhappy."

Of course she is unhappy, or she wouldn't have cheated.

OP, your husband deserves to know what you did. He shouldn't be forced to stay with a cheater through deception.

Quoting Moose's Mama:" this is a account for anyone to post anonymously "

Oooh! Got it! ;)

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" I think that was a really smurffy thing to do and you're a bitch for doing it. The only person it would ... [snip!] ... think that unless you want to hurt him and potentially ruin your marriage I wouldnt tell him. It would just be selfish."</blockquote>




I think youre a bitch for your post. People make mistakes. She didn't ask for your opinion of her.

Ive looked closely at my options:
I can tell him and risk losing 10 years of marriage. I've stood by him, given up my career for him and don't want that all going down the drain in a matter of seconds. I realize that would be my fault but it's not something I want to do. And I have my daughter to think about.
I can not tell him and go on with our lives. I know why I had an affair and it's out of my system and I'm ready to be there for my husband 100% again. I can deal with the guilt and therapy doesn't sound like a bad idea either.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Britmiester:</b>" Ive read your past topics, and I can.see why you ended up having an affair. But you need to tell him"</blockquote>




This account isn't just one person..

Quoting Mrs. Post-tato Head™:" Don't tell him. Telling him will hurt him more than it will help. If the affair is over and you're not ... [snip!] ... told him, so I'm just saying from personal experience. If you've changed your ways and ended the affair then good for you.)"

  exactly this.

Quoting Andi+Andy=Marley+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Post-tato Head™:</b>" Don't tell him. Telling him will ... [snip!] ... happen that way though. A friend of mine told him. We worked it out but if I could have it my way DH would have never known"

That's pretty bad. What ever happened to having an open and honest relationship? It isn't fair to the SO, and I would be pissed if I was your DH for having to find out through a friend.

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" please tell him he deserves to know he deserves to also be happy with someone that wont cheat"

 

Quoting pilot Jess:" Think about why you did it, and fix the problem if you want to stay with him. It's not fair to him if ... [snip!] ... whatever is broken on your end if you intend to stay. If you don't want to stay, just be honest with him about the situation."

   All of this.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" That's pretty bad. What ever happened to having an open and honest relationship? It isn't fair to the SO, and I would be pissed if I was your DH for having to find out through a friend."

I seriously doubt that any relationship is 100% open and honest.

Quoting JeNnAs MoMoM:" I would go to the grave with that secret. It could cause more harm to your marriage than you can imagine and I personally would not risk that... unless you're unhappy."

i completely agree
unless you want to end your marriage, chuck it up to lessons learnt, and take it to your grave

your poor husband will be MUCH happier never EVER knowing about this

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" Ive looked closely at my options: I can tell him and risk losing 10 years of marriage. I've stood by ... [snip!] ... I'm ready to be there for my husband 100% again. I can deal with the guilt and therapy doesn't sound like a bad idea either."</blockquote>




Honestly...I wouldn't tell him. But I would not do it ever again....and I would get into counseling like another mama said. And do what you have to do to prevent this from happening again.

Never cheated on my husband, never would even though right now he is in the doghouse. So I am not rreally sure what advice I would give considering I have never been in this situation. I think that I would keep it to myself though if it was just a one time thing. In the future, dont put yourself in tempting situations.