I need some serious advice.

I posted a thread last night asking the opinion of everyone on splitting up kids.
Everyone pretty much said never split them up.

Here's the problem I need advice on:

(ex)DH and I split recently. I had no place to go and ended up having to move 800 miles away to stay with a close friend. (ex)DH was okay with it, hell he even DROVE us here.

However now he wants to take custody of one of the children. He says he doesn't believe I can provide a good life for two children on my own. I am broke and haven' worked in 3 years, I was a SAHM while he worked.

Should I allow my son (and I say son just cause son=dad // daughter = mom) to go live with him?
I feel like I could provide an okay life for them, but he's right in saying we'd probably be living at the bottom of the barrel for a long long time.

Please BG I'm begging you, help this Momma clear her head.

(Feel free to ask any questions, I''m willing to answer anything)

You should keep your children together! I most definitely wouldn't separate them..especially in a very difficult time like this. You may be bad off right now, but you will get things on track.

Nope, I still wouldn't split them up. Not for that reason alone

Honestly, if you guys would still be able to manage and have food on the table and all your basic needs met, I'd say don't split the kids up. I was heartbroken when I found out that during my parents divorce, had I had a brother, he would have gone to live with my dad. Unless you would be homeless and have no food, I wouldn't do it. I resent my parents a little for discussing even the thought. But at the end of the day, you have to live with these decisions. I really wish you the best no matter what you decide.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Super Kame Vegeta:</b>" I posted a thread last night asking the opinion of everyone on splitting up kids. Everyone pretty much ... [snip!] ... Please BG I'm begging you, help this Momma clear her head. (Feel free to ask any questions, I''m willing to answer anything)"</blockquote>




I was the.one who said its no different then splitting up and starting a new family and having half siblings that don't live together.

If its in the best interest of the kids and both parents why not. You have to think of it that way Kwim? It wont make you a horrible parent. Sometimes we have to do things differently then what the norm is.

I couldn't personally leave one of my children behind.. I think in the long run they'd probably prefer to live a poorer life than be away from their mother.

I honestly think it would be extremelyhard on your kids to split them up, when my parents divorced my big sister moved with my mom while my big brother and i stayed with our dad. I thought my mom didn't like me and that why she didnt take me. I resented her for years, we still have a strained relationship. I think as long as you have a good support system ,friends and family, whereyou are now you should atleast try to keep them together.Good luck mama

Quoting Coupon Lady:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Super Kame Vegeta:</b>" I posted a thread last night asking ... [snip!] ... of it that way Kwim? It wont make you a horrible parent. Sometimes we have to do things differently then what the norm is."

Could you imagine how difficult that would be?? Especially since a lot of children depend more on mom

I'm so sorry that you're even having to consider this  
But no, don't do it! Get a job, work your way up to an apartment, and you'll be fine. If he really wants to help you out then he can do it by supporting you, not splitting your children up.
Will you be getting child support? That helps! Also, can you or him move closer to eachother so you can help eachother out? (Like him watching the kids while you work so you don't have to pay for daycare?)

How old are the kids?

No. The kids are already going through enough with the divorce. Splitting them up is going to make things worse. If anything, he needs to take both of the children. Not one of them. Either that or leave them both with you.

I'm just so confused. (ex)DH keeps saying that I won't be able to provide and care for two children all on my own.

I love them so much and had a breakdown last night just thinking about giving up my child.

I just want whats best for them.

It depends on the age of the child.

If he was old enough to decide which parent he would prefer to live with, I would let him pick.

If both children were still too young to decide, I would keep them together and (if I had a good relationship with the father) place them with the parent that could best provide for them at the time. I would still keep any legal document as "shared custody" in case the children were able to return to me.

I'm sorry. This must be so painful for you  .

If you can provide shelter, food and clothes for them both then don't split them. You might be poor for a while but I'd rather deal with that then have one of my kids away from me.

Quoting Becky☮Will:" I'm so sorry that you're even having to consider this   But no, don't do it! Get a job, work your way ... [snip!] ... help eachother out? (Like him watching the kids while you work so you don't have to pay for daycare?) How old are the kids?"

He refuses to move closer because he doesn't want to pay more for out of state college.

They are 2 and 1.

I say keep them together, either both with you or both with the Dad.