re: I need some serious advice.

Quoting Carol  :" I would never be able to do it. And if you do go through with it what are you going to tell your son ... [snip!] ... head. You keep saying HE says you can't do but do you think you could raise them both? That's what matters..not his opinion."

 
and what I really think his agenda is to get OP to come back to her completely. He does not want this divorce.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>"   and what I really think his agenda is to get OP to come back to her completely. He does not want this divorce."</blockquote>



 

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>"   and what I really think his agenda is to get OP to come back to her completely. He does not want this divorce."</blockquote>

Oh yeah if he doesn't even want the divorce then he's def trying to make her second guess her decision and think she needs him.
OP you don't need him, you don't need any man. It will be hard at first to go from a sahm to a single working mom of 2 but you can def do it.

You guys are right.
I needed an outside perspective to all of this.

My kids are fed, clothed, and happy. If he wants to take these kids away from me he'll have to fight me.

And he's got records of his problems with mental health, so there is no way he'd win.

Quoting Carol  :" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>"   and what I really think his agenda is ... [snip!] ... him, you don't need any man. It will be hard at first to go from a sahm to a single working mom of 2 but you can def do it."

Right exactly. Its all a mind game, OP don't fall for it. You can do this. Women do it every day. Just be determined and stay positive.

Quoting Super Kame Vegeta:" You guys are right. I needed an outside perspective to all of this. My kids are fed, clothed, and ... [snip!] ... away from me he'll have to fight me. And he's got records of his problems with mental health, so there is no way he'd win."

Yep! Just keep your head up and you will do just fine, I promise!

Quoting Super Kame Vegeta:" You guys are right. I needed an outside perspective to all of this. My kids are fed, clothed, and ... [snip!] ... away from me he'll have to fight me. And he's got records of his problems with mental health, so there is no way he'd win."

Good luck mama. You can absolutely do this. You don't need to give up a kid to make it work. Heck, I'm a single mom of two. It's not perfect, but I could never split my kids up. They adore each other.

I would keep them together if at all possible. My parents divorced when I was little, and I leaned on my sister a LOT. Also, if they did, I'd always wonder why the other parents wanted and loved my sister more than they did me.

Between you working, child support, possibly alimony, and any additional help you can qualify for while you get on your feet (WIC, food stamps, stuff like that) I think you'll be fine. You can also see if you qualify for help with daycare costs so you can work.

I understand if there is NO choice but to split kids up, but I'd try every avenue possible before I tried that.

I wouldn't split my kids up, especially over money. There is always public assistance to help you guys out.

Quoting Super Kame Vegeta:" You guys are right. I needed an outside perspective to all of this. My kids are fed, clothed, and ... [snip!] ... away from me he'll have to fight me. And he's got records of his problems with mental health, so there is no way he'd win."

don't believe for 1 second that you're not strong enough to do this! You are and he knows it which is why he's trying to manipulate you with your 1 weak spot (your kids). Any mom wants the best for her kids and he's trying to make you feel like you can't give them that, but you can. As long as you love them and can feed and clothe them, you will all be fine. The sense of security that comes along with being stable with your parent is worth more than $, I'm not saying don't let them see him but keep them together and stay strong!

I just wanted to say I know you can do it OP!
I left my sons dad a year ago when my son was 20 months old. I stayed with him for so long because I thought "if we're struggling financially now, how will I ever survive on my own?"but guess what? It was easier!
Evenn though I had more stress coming from raising a 2yr old on my own, never getting a break, having less income, I overall had LESS stress than when we were together and felt better and happier  
Also I realized that when we were together I never got a break anyway lol and now that I didnthave his ass to worry about all the time I could focus on being a better mom.

You will be fine and most likely come out of this better than ever  

Your children are too young IMO to be away from their mother that long. If they were of school-age it would be a little different but 1 and 2 years old...they are just toddlers. They are still completely reliant on you.
I didn't have custody of my son when he was 18 months old to 2 1/2 years old. Since I couldn't stay home with him I worked full-time to help support him and only saw him once or twice a week. It was so awful and he has a lot of issues now that I'm working hard to fix.