re: Online dating

Quoting Is that still my name?:" That seems weird that your psych would want you sign up to online dating, let alone for self esteem ... [snip!] ... just want to get laid.... so as long as you recognize that, then move forward and I think some good could come from it.   "

LOL, yeah my psych is different. We kind of know each other through my work as well so I think she is taking a more laidback liberal approach. I have had really horrible experiences with abusive men, and dont think I am good enough for anyone other than scumbags, actually I dont think Im good enough for scumbags half the time. She is trying to show me there are other men out there that arent drug abusers, thieves and criminals...

Quoting Yellow Diamond:" Eww he is a creeper lol. Well this has given me a bit of confidence that it might work, but I will heed ... [snip!] ... just to build confidence, I actually think Im really unattractive, others tell me Im not but I dont believe them... "

Attraction comes from within... and it's very VERY true... superficiality comes on the TV, douche bags, sluts, and otherwise garbage.

Quoting Yellow Diamond:" Eww he is a creeper lol. Well this has given me a bit of confidence that it might work, but I will heed ... [snip!] ... just to build confidence, I actually think Im really unattractive, others tell me Im not but I dont believe them... "

I'm the same way sadly... but you shouldn't be like that!! Omg he is lol it was 2 years ago also!! Idk, there's been a lot of success stories though. And I think it will definitely help with the self esteem boost.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" Attraction comes from within... and it's very VERY true... superficiality comes on the TV, douche bags, sluts, and otherwise garbage."

Very true, normally that type of stuff doesnt bother me and I have always been pretty secure but ever since I moved to a new city where I dont have many friends Ive found it hard to meet new people. The last guy I was with really rocked my confidence as well, he would constantly go on about other prettier girls and the only thing he could ever say to me was "you have pretty eyes"...

Quoting Yellow Diamond:" Very true, normally that type of stuff doesnt bother me and I have always been pretty secure but ever ... [snip!] ... he would constantly go on about other prettier girls and the only thing he could ever say to me was "you have pretty eyes"..."

Well at least you go that much from him... stop letting other people have control over you.

Aside from that, it is a conflict of interest to have your "friend" be your psych...

Quoting Rydicule91:" I'm the same way sadly... but you shouldn't be like that!! Omg he is lol it was 2 years ago also!! Idk, ... [snip!] ... ago also!! Idk, there's been a lot of success stories though. And I think it will definitely help with the self esteem boost. "

Sucks that we are like this, you are so pretty! Yeah I liked reading the success stories of the other ladies, and like one of the other ladies said social media is such a part of our lives now days, it makes sense it would extend to dating.

Quoting Yellow Diamond:" Sucks that we are like this, you are so pretty! Yeah I liked reading the success stories of the other ... [snip!] ... like one of the other ladies said social media is such a part of our lives now days, it makes sense it would extend to dating. "

Thank you! Idk,, I think it goes back to daddy issues lol he never really told me I was pretty. He tries to now but it's a little late, lol and my mom almost slaps me all the time for saying ew at myself. Oh well.... ya I hate that women are expected to look like barbies. really? I like the differences you see in REAL life lol not fantasy.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" Well at least you go that much from him... stop letting other people have control over you."

Yeah that is my problem, Im always trying to please other people and rely on their praise to make me feel better. I dont know why, its only happened over the last couple of years, I havent always been this way.

Nah she isnt my friend, we kind of know each other through my work. Because of what I do for a living she knows bullsmurf doesnt fly with me, so she knows she doesnt have to sugar coat things with me.

Quoting Rydicule91:" Thank you! Idk,, I think it goes back to daddy issues lol he never really told me I was pretty. He tries ... [snip!] ... ya I hate that women are expected to look like barbies. really? I like the differences you see in REAL life lol not fantasy. "

I was gonna ask her where she feels she got her esteem problems from. Dads play a HUUGGEEEE roll on that. Myself included.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" I was gonna ask her where she feels she got her esteem problems from. Dads play a HUUGGEEEE roll on that. Myself included."

Right? I went to counseling and a lot made sense, it kinda made me rebel even more to find out why I acted the way I was. Went down a bad path...but managed to get myself together and in a better lifestyle. I don't blame him though...he didn't have the best upbringing either (never met his dad) so its up to me to fix the damage. I have just been bad lately cuz I'm all huge and prego and I miss being all cute and little. One day!!! I will have my body back... lol.

Quoting Rydicule91:" Thank you! Idk,, I think it goes back to daddy issues lol he never really told me I was pretty. He tries ... [snip!] ... ya I hate that women are expected to look like barbies. really? I like the differences you see in REAL life lol not fantasy. "

Yep apparently I have daddy issues too. I thought that was only in the movies lol. I love the differences too and think most of those lil barbies look a hot mess but that seems to be what guys find attractive now days *sigh*. Actually scrap that, its the guys I date, they are into that barbie look, I need to find nice decent men that can look past make up and teased hair.

I found my DH on match  

Give it a try, I work with 4 other people who also married the person they met on match.com.

Quoting Yellow Diamond:" Yep apparently I have daddy issues too. I thought that was only in the movies lol. I love the differences ... [snip!] ... its the guys I date, they are into that barbie look, I need to find nice decent men that can look past make up and teased hair."

Yes you do!! There's some out there, I was extremely lucky to find my SO. He is amazing, I can't believe how smurffy I can look, and he'll wake up next to me and first thing he'll say is how beautiful I am. And then of course I'm like ew no and ruin the moment hahahaha Seriously! Those girls do all that make up and hair and it just looks nasty and tacky. Nowhere near the movie stars and models they try to imitate. Get a life! There's so much more important things than spending all that time and money on how you look. And you can look like freaking beyonce but have a horrible personality, I'd rather be a beautiful person on the inside.

Ryd, I wanted to IMMEDIATELY tell you how amazingly beautiful you were before I even read the conversation. And I have NEVER done that for wanted to do that before. Yellow, Can't see ya! lol But girls, girls, girls... ONLY YOU can accept yourself. I've been you, hell, EVERY girl has been you... it's not that you don't believe you are capable or that you aren't... it is that SOMETHING it making you TELL yourself your not. Identify that, and everything will change. It really really really HURTS me to see ladies go through what I PUT MYSELF through... my only other word of advice, is that the longer you go with ignoring yourself, the more power you give to other people, and deeper you get into a bad situation.