odd question

what defines a suicidal thought?
where is the line that you need help? I mean there is a path right? not too many people just up and kill themselves without thinking about it...and many people think about it without doing it right?

i google it and all i get is the soap box about there is help and life is worth something blahblahblah.


just wondering...really curious. im not suicidal or anything...

A suicidal thought is any time you think about killing yourself.

Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" A suicidal thought is any time you think about killing yourself."

k but when do you need help?
how do you know when its serious...like yourself. I mean how can you trust your state of mind? like i said a lot of people think about it without ever doing it, its pretty normal right?

I think when it goes from a fleeting "they'd be better off without me" to ANY hint of planning.

Quoting cunning cuniculi:" k but when do you need help? how do you know when its serious...like yourself. I mean how can you trust ... [snip!] ... can you trust your state of mind? like i said a lot of people think about it without ever doing it, its pretty normal right?"

I think, if your at the point to where you are actually think of HOW you would do it, you need help. Yes people think about it all the time, but if you are like planning it, you need to talk to someone.

I have a past with suicide attempts...

There's always this moment, this weird adrenaline rush when you think "Oh God. I'm going to do it. This time tomorrow, I'll be dead." and you can almost imagine yourself being dead, nothing.

I'm sure some would say you need help before that, but that's definitely when you absolutely need help.

okay...what about a few years ago i did have what would be a suicidal thought, actually very often.

I drove an hour and a half to work, and an hour and a half back every day. i didnt feel depressed but obviously thats what this was. I never thought they would be better off without me, i didnt feel sad or upset, i didnt feel anything. maybe detached...
how many times i thought i could just turn the wheel and it would be over.

i never got help, and i never did it. i dont think i ever would, either...not because life is precious or whatever...because i was made to live, because i dont know how to die.

but i still feel detached. basically the reason for this post. i told a new chick that i work with about that thought i had years ago and she got really sad./ she is the only one ive ever told, idk why i told her. we talk a lot, but its not like i like her. sometimes i feel like an ass because i know she is getting close to me but i dont feel the same way. i can tell her things but if i never saw her again i wouldn't bat an eye. thats kinda how i feel about everything now...

Quoting cunning cuniculi:" okay...what about a few years ago i did have what would be a suicidal thought, actually very often. ... [snip!] ... way. i can tell her things but if i never saw her again i wouldn't bat an eye. thats kinda how i feel about everything now..."

Was it a thought of deliberately ending yourself, or more a thought of, this is all it takes to end a human life, ruminating on the fragility of our existence?

Quoting Autumn Whisper:" Was it a thought of deliberately ending yourself, or more a thought of, this is all it takes to end a human life, ruminating on the fragility of our existence?"

probably to end it. im not sure because i didnt do it...

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" I have a past with suicide attempts... There's always this moment, this weird adrenaline rush when you ... [snip!] ... being dead, nothing. I'm sure some would say you need help before that, but that's definitely when you absolutely need help."

what stopped you?

i mean, if you dont mind me asking....
i really dont need to know if you dont want to talk about it now

Quoting cunning cuniculi:" probably to end it. im not sure because i didnt do it..."

Well, I think we all have moments where we realize...this is all it would take. It isn't always with the idea of killing ourselves...more like...literally...this is all it would take. Moments where we realize how fragile we are.

I wouldn't consider you suicidal based upon what you've just said. I suspect we all speculate, on some level, about our own demise. We are mortal beings, and what lays beyond is the great unknown, no matter how much we may profess to know it.

Is there something in your life that is making you unhappy, that you feel you need to be detached from? Detachment and suicidal are different things.

Quoting Autumn Whisper:" Well, I think we all have moments where we realize...this is all it would take. It isn't always with ... [snip!] ... your life that is making you unhappy, that you feel you need to be detached from? Detachment and suicidal are different things."

well idk, i have had clear and lasting desires to not be alive any more. Like...if it were a game of monopoly, even if im winning and doing well...i just dont want to play anymore.
Idk about thinking that this is all it would take, heh. im sure part of the reason i dont do it is because its not guaranteed to work. wouldn't it suck to be a paraplegic? I would disagree with you and say that it takes a lot to end a life.


as far as situational, well ive been through hell but none of it really bothers me.
Im actually in a very good place now.
There are a lot of things that reinforce my thinking, though...but thats life. heh...irony?

Quoting cunning cuniculi:" what stopped you? i mean, if you dont mind me asking.... i really dont need to know if you dont want to talk about it now "

I just really suck at killing myself. I tried, and ended up in the hospital every time.

Quoting cunning cuniculi:" well idk, i have had clear and lasting desires to not be alive any more. Like...if it were a game of ... [snip!] ... actually in a very good place now. There are a lot of things that reinforce my thinking, though...but thats life. heh...irony?"

Stupid smurf takes lives and we walk away sometimes from things that should have killed us. It depends. In the grand scheme of things, we are incredibly strong fragile little beings.

If the ONLY reason you're not turning the wheel into catastrophe is because you aren't sure that is 100%, then you have a problem. But if it is just a momentary, passing fancy...I wouldn't worry about that one.

Detachment would be expected if you've been through hell. Especially while you're going through it. Pouring out your secrets to people you don't really want emotional intimacy with is consistent with that experience, too.

Do you feel like maybe you need help, after her reaction?

Quoting Autumn Whisper:" Stupid smurf takes lives and we walk away sometimes from things that should have killed us. It depends. ... [snip!] ... emotional intimacy with is consistent with that experience, too. Do you feel like maybe you need help, after her reaction?"

nah ive been thinking about getting help because i feel detached, from everything. everything in life including my family... intimacy, friendships, relatives...


my aunt told me my uncle was dying, they are doing that hospice thing for him now. hes been sick for a while so its no surprise, but he is in his 40s so that sucks. i called her at work because she messaged me to call her....and when the phone conversation was done i just went right back to work as if nothing happened.
well i didnt know how to react. at all....like i couldnt fake being sincere.


i go through cycles as to how much it matters to me that i dont care, right now its pretty dull...being i dont care that i dont care so its all good.
sometimes it really gets to me, ive posted about it before. those are the times that i wish i could just end it. there is always the looming desire in the back of my head but sometimes its more urgent i guess...