19 & terrified :/

I am 19 years old, turning 20 in December and i am 17 weeks pregnant. I had thought that having a baby was wonderful and amazing but im starting to worry about a ton of things. My boyfriend (who is also the father of my baby) and I just bought a house and he is in college and currently looking for a job (his parent are paying the first 6 payments as a gift). I cannot get a job because my back pain is so bad and i cant stand for long. for one, im terrified that our relationship wont last because i got pregnant a little after a month that we had started dating. We just recently celebrated our 5 month but i still fear the worst since we are both still young. I am also scared that we wont make it on our own, owning a house is a huge thing for only being 20 years old, plus with a baby on the way with only one working? i dont know what we are going to do. We are on WIC and i just applied for food stamps and i have a job lined up for after i have the baby at a Vet's office, but theres still those few months where we will have a $500 house payment and a $250 electric bill (that includes water) plus the baby's needs... im freaking out!!!

These are all things to consider before you buy a house with someone.

You have 6 months to come up with your first mortgage payment. Tell him to get a job and maybe you can find one working from home. Go to the chiropractor and do things that calm you down and make you happy. Yoga and meditation worked for me.

My husband and I had two kids when I was your age and had our first apartment with not smurf for savings, and now we are doing better than most. Just keep pushing and you will be good to go in no time.

I was together with my SO for only a few months before we got pregnant. It was really tough at first, but we got through it. We're going on 6 years together, now... 2 kids, 2 moves (across country, non-the-less)... Relationships take work.

Also, you can sell things like scentsy, steeped tea, tupperware... to make some money.

Well having a baby is a beautiful thing but it is also hard at time's too. I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant, wasn't with the guy (my now dh) but for about 5 months before finding out. Had my child by the time I was 20. Got my first full-time job while I was 28 weekis pregnant and worked 2 days up until delivery. I too was terrified about all of these things. But its possible to do it all! There are times when me and dh struggle but we always make it through! And its all worth it in the end!

Phew! That's a lot to take in!

We're the same age and you're all ready doing better than me.   Don't stress too much. Bad for you and bad for baby. It sounds like everything is okay for now, I wouldn't worry about all the "what-ifs."

Welcome to BG, good luck and congratulations!  

Why did you buy a house?
Also you can make money online. Find something, anything. You can go to the craft store and stock up on beads, yarn, clay whatever and sit at home making things and selling them on etsy. You have to make money somehow.

Well,I didn't get pregnant only a month after dating my now husband but it was pretty soon. We didn't and don't have a house but he had a job. I got WIC and Food Stamps. Being pregnant often times makes it easier to worry about things. I would say to just do the best you can and not to stress out too much right now.

It's usually always a struggle in the beginning no matter what your circumstances are. Stressing out about things won't do good for you or the baby and might cause damage to your relationship but you can worry a little. Discuss your feelings and thoughts...that will help a bit.

Start putting money away now! Even if you can only put away $25 a week into a savings account you will have something to help out with baby things you may need, like diapers and wipes. Being on WIC will help you a lot if you formula feed, and smart thinking for apply for food stamps. Just remember that you and your BF need to work together as a team now. You won't always be able to get your hair or nails done, or buy that shirt you fell in love with at the store, same goes for him. But that's just what you need to do. I understand it's a scary thing but I promise it is worth it! Just remember to keep communication open between you two.

Why take on such a big responsibility like home ownership without a solid financial plan? How did y'all even qualify to purchase a home with no income?

Quoting Turt McGurt™:" Why take on such a big responsibility like home ownership without a solid financial plan? How did y'all even qualify to purchase a home with no income?"

Im curious about this too! They must have had parents sign.

Me and dh can't get anything on our own without cosigners or probably a HUGE down payment. We both have stable jobs and incomes.... But I have no credit and he has okay credit but has a repo still showing on his credit though everything was taken care of years ago!

Quoting Brooke Alene Powell:" I am 19 years old, turning 20 in December and i am 17 weeks pregnant. I had thought that having a baby ... [snip!] ... we will have a $500 house payment and a $250 electric bill (that includes water) plus the baby's needs... im freaking out!!!"

Hey, your post sort of hit home so I just wanted to tell you, you're not alone! I also got pregnant only about a month after dating my fiance; I had just turned 21 and he was 19. I was terrified and excited and every emotion in between. Like you, I worried that our relationship would never last because we never really even got a chance to "date" before finding out I was pregnant. I remember during the beginning of the pregnancy going through a really weird phase where my emotions were a roller coaster mess and I used to wish that he would leave me and think that girls whose baby's fathers left them were "lucky"    Needless to say, I quickly grew out of that negative thinking towards him and we are still together- our son is now 16 months.

As for the bills and baby costs- yes it is a lot for two young people, but you can do it. Luckily we had a lot of help from family and friends, but there are resources out there (like WIC, food stamps, etc. that you already named) that are there to provide help for those in need! I believe if you put in the work, it will all work out   Keep your head up, relax, and enjoy your pregnancy. It's definitely A LOT of work but it is all well worth it in the end. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me! Good luck!

Owning a home is huge responsibility. I was 19 when I got pregnant and I just turned 20 this September. My due date is Nov. 9 and Fiance and I are living at my parent's house for now. I think that would've been a better start for you guys, then working and saving. My Fiance just got his certificate for welding.. so that's a start, I plan to go back to school right after having my baby. (missed this semester because I didn't want to miss out on tests etc.) Try not to live in fear though, I got pregnant the second month we were dating, but if you two are on the same page and want to make it work, then you will.

My boyfriends brother had the house and was making payments on it before he moved back to WV and the seller said that since he did such a good job with payments and all then he would just sign it over to us and not to worry about repaying the down payment and we basically just took over the payments, but we discussed it for a while with parents and grandparents and they all said that its a good opportunity for us and not to pass it up so we went for it. Thank you all for your advice it really helped a lot!!   My boyfriend is a very understanding guy and when we do fuss hes the type of guy that will sit and listen to my side before explaining his (which is rare for a guy his age lol) so we never get into big fights. I'm glad that i'm having a baby with him! Once again, thank you all!

My bf and I were together for a month and got pregnant on my nineteenth birthday. I worked in heavy industry and had to stop because of the physical strain and seventy hour weeks. He works and takes care of me, we live in a small apartment. Once the baby is old enough I'm going back to work and school. Relationships under stress like this are always difficult, but remember to work as a team, Don't think that there is a death sentence on it just because of the circumstances. We're better off than plenty of older married couples that we know, so keep your head up!

Quoting Brooke Alene Powell:" I am 19 years old, turning 20 in December and i am 17 weeks pregnant. I had thought that having a baby ... [snip!] ... we will have a $500 house payment and a $250 electric bill (that includes water) plus the baby's needs... im freaking out!!!"

Im 19 as well, just turned 19, my boy friend and I have been together for 4 years, and almost a year ago now we bought a house as well, now Im pregant and soon going to have out first child. Thought this pregnantcy, I have asked myself a lot if I thought we were going to make it, due to all of our fighting, considering he doesn't really want a child at this time, but I pretty much forced it because I told him I wasn't getting an abortion, so that pushed him away from me a bit, and the whole time, hes been out drinking all the time, every weekend, even through the week.. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be only being together for a few months prior to being pregnant. A baby cant keep you together. But what keeps me going though everything is the love, and wanting my baby to have his father in his life. I also lost my job so we are just running on one income. Its hard, but since this happened, hes stepped up to the plate a bit more because we need our bills paid off before the baby gets here. If you love each other, and its meant to be you will find a way. Everything happens for a reason. Doesn't matter how old you are, if you have the right state of mind, you will be able to handle it.